Camp Wilder

[the gang is playing with a Ouija Board]

Dorfman:
Go ahead, Beth, ask it anything.

Beth:
Okay. [pause] Why do guys say they're gonna call, and so you give them your number, and you wait by the phone, and do they call? No!

Dorfman:
Ask and answer. Okay!

Ricky Wilder:
[on the phone with a costume shop clerk] Do you have any mouse costumes? [pause] Yes, I'm aware that today is Halloween and that people purchased their costumes months in advance - I've always admired people like that. [pause] But still no mice? What costumes do you have? [pause] That's the ONLY ONE LEFT? [pause] I don't think so, not for an eight-year-old girl. But, out of curiosity, how much is the Clarence Thomas outfit?

[Beth enters Dex's garage angrily. Dex still has his shirt off]

Dexter:
Let me guess, friend of Brody's?

Beth:
That's right. So you can put your pecs away 'coz it's not gonna work with me.

[Ricky is dreaming that she is in labor. The doctor pulls out Brody from her womb]

Ricky Wilder:
Brody!

Doctor:
That's a nice name!

Brody Wilder:
Hey, Rick, can I have the keys to your car?

Ricky Wilder:
In my pur... [goes into labor once more]

Doctor:
There's another one. Wait, there's something blocking the way. [pulls out a skateboard, then pulls out Dorfman]

Dorfman:
Hi, doc! Hey, what happened to the bag of chips I had?

Ricky Wilder:
Dorfman!

Doctor:
Hang on, there's one more. [pulls out Melissa]

Melissa Wilder:
Fine. Give birth to me, but you are not my mother.

[the doctor pulls out Danielle]

Danielle:
Nice shoes! Can I have them?

[the doctor pulls out Beth]

Beth:
Ricky, there's a hole in the Ozone Layer, and you're bringing babies into this world? [shakes her head disapprovingly]

Brody Wilder:
Date tonight, Rick. Need a way place to take her to.

Ricky Wilder:
Mario's.

Brody Wilder:
Great. Need a way to pay for it.

Ricky Wilder:
Job.

Brody Wilder:
Seriously, Rick. Can I borrow thirty dollars?

Ricky Wilder:
Thirty dollars? Brody, that's a lot of money. Why don't you just do what I did when I was your age? [thinks] Here, take forty.

Beth:
Honestly, Brody, you're taking this fight thing way out of proportion.

Brody Wilder:
Why not tell that to Danielle?

Beth:
What?

Brody Wilder:
Oh, that's right, Beth. Act surprised. I know she and Dex have a date tonight. I can't believe you guys. [exit]

Beth:
[sits down on the couch with Dorfman] I feel terrible.

Dorfman:
Me too.

Beth:
I thought Dex wanted me.

Brody Wilder:
Any luck finding your cat, Beth?

Beth:
No. Dorfman put an ad in the paper, but we can't find it.

Dorfman:
[points at an ad in the newspaper] Here it is. Right under "Love Warrior seeks nonsmoking dentist."

Beth:
You put it in the Personals?

Dorfman:
Yeah. Who reads the Lost and Found?

Danielle:
[reads] "Lost and Lonely, SWF?"

Dorfman:
Spayed White Feline.

Danielle:
[reads] "Lost and Lonely, SWF, Cute and cuddly, neatly trimmed nails, seeks master...?"

Beth:
Dorfman, what are you doing to me? I'm gonna get a bunch of men calling and wanting to meet me. [pauses to think] I'm gonna go check my messages.