Cannonball Run

Fenderbaum:
We've got a secret weapon. God is our co-pilot!

The Greek:
You'll need him!

Jamie Blake:
*God* is our copilot?

Fenderbaum:
Uh huh...

Jamie Blake:
Remember our car?

Fenderbaum:
Uh huh...

Jamie Blake:
Two seats?

Fenderbaum:
Two seats...

Jamie Blake:
Where's he gonna sit?

Jamie Blake:
Where's he gonna sit?

Fenderbaum:
Why'd he call me Shorty?

Jamie Blake:
'Cause you're small. Small. S - M - all.

The Sheik:
My driving is rivaled only by the lightning bolts from the heavens!

Sheik's Sister:
So you still intend to enter the race with the infidel Americans?

The Sheik:
My dear sister, the Cannonball shall fall to the forces of Islam! I swear it!

California Highway Patrolman:
Headquarters, we are still in pursuit of the black Lamborghini.

California Highway Patrolman:
Yeah, and we're going to stay in pursuit until we catch them.

J.J. McClure:
Look, we can't have a car with numbers on it. So, we're going to have to disguise the car somehow.

Victor Prinsi:
Alright.

J.J. McClure:
How about a big, black limousine with diplomatic plates?

Victor Prinsi:
Nah!

J.J. McClure:
Nah. I know, a bloodmobile. They wouldn't stop a bloodmobile, would they?

Victor Prinsi:
Nah!

J.J. McClure:
Nah.

Victor Prinsi:
An ice cream truck! Yeah, an ice cream truck! Y'know, they gotta get there before it melts!

Organizer:
You are certainly the most distinguished group of highway scofflaws and degenerates ever gathered together in one place

Seymour Goldfarb Jr:
Maybe next year, we'll do this again.

Organizer:
Of course you know certain sceptics note that perhaps 10,000 of the nations's most elite highway patrolmen are out there waiting for us after we start, but let's stay positively: Think of the fact that there's not one state in the 50 that has the death penalty for speeding... although I'm not so sure about Ohio.

Mel:
How long before we stop?

Terry:
Eight hours!

Mel:
Da-D-Damn! I gotta go to the john!

Fenderbaum:
What in the hell was that?

Jamie Blake:
Oh, that must've been the entry of the National Safety Council.

Batman:
Mad Dog, you ARE going to take the shortcut to the Interstate, aren't you?

Mad Dog:
We're here to win, ain't we? If you're gonna be a bear, BE A GRIZZLY!

Shaky Finch:
Come on! 1000 miles on one wheel? We're trying to win a race, not set a record!

The Greek:
Jamie Blake! Yeah, you used to drive that Formula One. When high-buttoned shoes were in style!

J.J. McClure:
what about a black trans-am? No, that's been done!

Mad Dog:
Hey, you the one running this fleabag?

Desk Clerk:
Huh?

Mad Dog:
Where the hookers?

Desk Clerk:
What?

Mad Dog:
Hookers, man! Where the hookers?

J.J. McClure:
What's Dr. Gay do?

Victor Prinsi:
He's my shrink. He was committed yesterday.

J.J. McClure:
Why?

Victor Prinsi:
He was smoking bananas. He gets very upset when he talks to 'Him'.

J.J. McClure:
So do I!

Mr. Foyt:
Terrorists my dimpled ass! These people make terrorists look like the Sisters of Charity! These guys are Cannonballers!

Pamela Glover:
What is that? A bowling team?

Bradford Compton:
Shakey, it's kinda tough to get close to you. Last time I saw you, you were a bit more svelte.

Shaky Finch:
Yeah, well what can I tell you? In the pizza business, when things are slow you tend to eat the inventory.

Bradford Compton:
Yeah, but listen, Shakey, that's not good for the Cannonball. You know that! I mean, you don't need a motorcycle, you need the Super Chief!

Shaky Finch:
But even with the extra tonnage, I'm still the best there is!

Organizer:
I'd like to welcome you all to an event that's sometimes been called the Automotive counterpart to the Bay of Pigs.

Fenderbaum:
Isn't that J.J. McClure?

Jamie Blake:
He's nothing. Don't worry about him. It's the Blimp next to him! The Blimp! When he puts on that mask, he'll blow your goddamn doors off!

Mr. Foyt:
Well, how do you all feel now you have raped the American highways?

J.J. McClure:
Beautiful!

Jamie Blake:
That's a good-looking piece! and cunningly disguised so it won't look like a racing car, you know. The cops would never give that a second glance!

Jill Rivers:
220 miles an hour and they aren't gonna get a second glance!

J.J. McClure:
Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back. Thanks to your wonderful cousin Tessie.

Victor Prinsi:
Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!

J.J. McClure:
She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!

Mad Dog:
Evel Knievel, you've got yourself some competition!

J.J. McClure:
I'm sure that doctor's a very sweet man, basically.

Victor Prinsi:
Oh, thank you.

J.J. McClure:
But don't you ever tell me where you found him. Ever.

Seymour Goldfarb Jr:
Would you mind?

Seymour Goldfarb Jr:
Thank you.

Organizer:
Might be easier with your lights on.

Seymour Goldfarb Jr:
Why advertise?

Victor Prinsi:
Nice car, Father!

Jamie Blake:
Thank you, a**hole.

J.J. McClure:
When you don't want him he's around! When you want him he's not around! I'm gonna go get a beer!

Captain Chaos:
DA-DA-DUM!

Seymour Goldfarb Jr:
Well, I must say, that's not a very sporting way to win.

Jamie Blake:
No, it was a shitty way to win!

Pamela Glover:
Wait a minute, you can't come in here.

Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing:
Madam, not to be indelicate but in my profession; if you've seen one, you've see them all.

Pamela Glover:
Oh, okay.

Mel:
I can't see sh*t, can you?

Terry:
No problem, son, no problem...

J.J. McClure:
Pumps one and two, hit 'em!

J.J. McClure:
She goes both ways. The round orange moon pie with the white hat on, he'll pay for it.

The Sheik:
Only in America! Get me 12 suites, better yet, the entire floor!

The Sheik:
Ah, too much couscous!

Freeze! And name your beneficiary.