Carry On Emmannuelle

Emile Prevert:
I can't straighten anything. I'm completely bent.

Emile Prevert:
Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
I don't want Tom or Harry!

Mrs. Dangle:
Gordon Bennett, they're having a phonographic orgy.

Immigration Officer:
What is your purpose of your visit to the United Kingdom?

Emmannuelle Prevert:
To make some friends with ze British.

Immigration Officer:
Is the purpose of your visit business or pleasure?

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Pleasure... definitely.

Lyons:
Can I help you?

Emmannuelle Prevert:
I am your mistress.

Lyons:
Oh my gawd!

Lyons:
I don't have a mistress!

Lyons:
I don't have a mistress.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
You have now! To begin with you can tell the Ambassador that his wife is here!

Emile Prevert:
Please excuse my masculine odour, I have been pumping iron.

Emile Prevert:
Cheri, Loins...

Lyons:
His excellency meant Lyons, madam. My name is Lyons.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
I prefer Loins.

Lyons:
Likewise, madam.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Turn over!

Emile Prevert:
No, no! I don't like.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Emile, I am a woman. I am your wife; you should not have to hide anyway from me.

Emile Prevert:
There's not much to hide!

Theodore Valentine:
Mother, I've met someone who is very dear to me.

Mrs. Valentine:
Was it your Auntie Hilda, dear?

Theodore Valentine:
No, mother, I met this girl, this wonderful girl.

Mrs. Valentine:
Don't be silly, dear, there's no such thing.

Theodore Valentine:
I think I'm in love.

Mrs. Valentine:
Nonsense, you're far too young.

Theodore Valentine:
I'm thirty-four. And a half.

Mrs. Valentine:
You've got your whole life in front of you, you don't want to fritter it away on some slip of a girl!

Theodore Valentine:
She's exquisite, I know you'd like her.

Mrs. Valentine:
I wouldn't count on it, dear.

Theodore Valentine:
I want to marry her.

Mrs. Valentine:
Nonsense, I'd never give you my permission.

Theodore Valentine:
I don't need your permission, mother.

Mrs. Valentine:
You're just like your father! He went off with some slip of a girl and he didn't ask my permission either!

Emmannuelle Prevert:
They are very sexy, these guards.

Leyland:
When they get a butcher's at you, dear, you'll need to be on guard.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
What is the matter with them? They never even looked at me!

Leyland:
Well, they're not allowed to, not on duty. Do you know, you could strip in front of one of them and they wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
We will see about that. Take me to St. James' palace, Leyland.

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Nudity is perfectly natural.

Emile Prevert:
No, no! Even Adam and Eve had a fig leaf.

Emile Prevert:
I was saying, my wife is a beter diplomat than I!

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Yes, I have it off with everybody!

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Er... she means hit it off, she means she hits it off with everybody!

The Prime Minister:
What were you doing in the far east, my dear?

Emmannuelle Prevert:
Sleeping around mostly.

Emile Prevert:
Er... she means sleeping around in many parts of the world.

Mrs. Dangle:
As anyone knows, laundrettes are better than a pub if your after a pick-up.

Harry Hernia:
I'm determined to go out with a bang!

Emmannuelle Prevert:
That's exactly what I had in mind...