Carry On Girls

Hope Springs:
It's not her fault she has to wear a falsie.

Sid Fiddler:
What do you mean, "a" falsie?

Hope Springs:
She's got one bigger than the other.

Sid Fiddler:
Is that right?

Hope Springs:
No, left.

Augusta Prodworthy:
And since I am strongly of the opinion that we are already providing more than enough entertainment for visitors, I wish to propose the motion that the provision of more would be detrimental to the good name of the borough.

Sid Fiddler:
Knickers!

Mayor Frederick Bumble:
Please, Councillor! I should strike that from the minutes, Miss Drew.

Miss Drew:
Ah, I beg your pardon, your worship?

Mayor Frederick Bumble:
Don't take down 'knickers'.

Sid Fiddler:
Chance would be a fine thing, wouldn't it, love?

Mayor Frederick Bumble:
Councillor Fiddler, I really must request you moderate your language while in committee.

Augusta Prodworthy:
I second that.

Sid Fiddler:
I do beg the Committee's pardon, your worship. But all this bleedin' codswollop about mucking up the good name of the borough gets on my wick!

Miss Drew:
Should I...?

Mayor Frederick Bumble:
No, no!

Connie Philpotts:
Hello, Mrs. Dukes, I thought you were going to the cinema.

Mrs. Dukes:
I did, but I had to leave. A young man sat next to me and started to make improper suggestions.

Connie Philpotts:
Again? Really, you should complain to the manager.

Mrs. Dukes:
I can't - he's after me too, you see!

Connie Philpotts:
Well, Mrs. Dukes, perhaps you shouldn't make yourself look quite so attractive.

Mrs. Dukes:
Oh it's not that, I can't help it. I give out waves, you know.

Connie Philpotts:
Really?

Mrs. Dukes:
Yes, my late husband used to call it OOMPH!

Connie Philpotts:
You and a bunch of beauty queens? It's like asking Dracula to be in charge of a blood bank!

Sid Fiddler:
Now, now, wait a minute, that's not true. You know I don't go for beautiful women: I like you.

Connie Philpotts:
That does it! Go on! You lecherous so-and-so, go on, GET OUT!

Ida Downs:
What do you want us to wear?

Sid Fiddler:
Oh, anything that brings out your best... points Miss...?

Ida Downs:
Downs, Ida Downs.

Sid Fiddler:
Ah, I bet you come from Beds.

Ida Downs:
No - Bristol.

Sid Fiddler:
I should have guessed.

Ida Downs:
I've got a rather smashing two-piece swimsuit.

Sid Fiddler:
Great - just wear one piece of that!

Ida Downs:
Will they publish pictures like that?

Larry:
Not in my paper!

Miss Bangor:
Excuse me, are you going to Fircombe?

Peter Potter:
This train's going there, yes.