Catch Me If You Can

Carl Hanratty:
Well, would you like to hear me tell a joke?

Earl Amdursky:
Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you.

Carl Hanratty:
Knock knock.

Earl Amdursky:
Who's there?

Carl Hanratty:
Go f*** yourselves.

Carl Hanratty:
Sometimes it's easier livin' the lie.

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.

Paula Abagnale:
Just tell me how much he owes and I'll pay you back.

Carl Hanratty:
So far, it's about 1.3 million dollars.

Roger Strong:
Frank, would you like to say grace?

Roger Strong:
Unless you're not comfortable.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Absolutely. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned, but the second mouse, he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and he walked out. Amen.

Carol Strong:
Oh, that was beautiful. The mouse, he churned that cream into butter.

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
You know why the Yankees always win, Frank?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
'Cause they have Mickey Mantle?

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
No, it's 'cause the other teams can't stop staring at those damn pinstripes.

Carl Hanratty:
For the last six months, he's gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I'm betting he can get a passport.

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
Do you know what would happen if the IRS found out I was driving around in a new coupe? I took the train here, Frank. I'm taking the train home.

Principal Evans:
Mr. and Mrs. Abagnale, this is not a question of your son's attendance. I regret to inform you that, for the past week, Frank has been teaching Mrs. Glasser's French class.

Paula Abagnale:
He what?

Principal Evans:
Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher, lecturing the students, uh, giving out homework, uh. Mrs. Glasser has been ill, there was some confusion with the real sub. Your son held a teacher-parent conference yesterday and was planning a class field trip to a French bread factory in Trenton.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
CHRIST. Terry. This is Italian knit.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Brenda, I don't want to lie to you anymore. All right? I'm not a doctor. I never went to medical school. I'm not a lawyer, or a Harvard graduate, or a Lutheran. Brenda, I ran away from home a year and a half ago when I was 16.

Brenda Strong:
Frank? Frank? You're not a Lutheran?

Frank Abagnale Jr.:
Ah, people only know what you tell them, Carl.

Carl Hanratty:
But, sir, we're gonna let him get away.

Assistant Director Marsh:
No, Carl, you let him get away.

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
Where's your mother?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I don't know. She said something about going to look for a job.

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
What's she gonna be, a shoe salesman at a centipede farm?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Dad, out of all those men - You were the one who took her home, remember that.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Montrichard, dad.

Carl:
I love my job!

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Stop chasing me!

Carl Hanratty:
I can't stop, it's my job.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Carl, how long do I have to work here [the FBI]?

Carl Hanratty:
8:15 in the morning, 4:00 in the afternoon. Forty-five minutes for lunch.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
No, I mean...how long?

Carl Hanratty:
Every day. Every day, Frank...until we let you go.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Hey, Carl.

Assistant Director Marsh:
I'd like for you to take a look at something, tell me what you think.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
[Marsh hands Frank a fake check as Carl looks on] That's a fake.

Assistant Director Marsh:
How do you know? You haven't looked at it.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
There's no perforated edge, right? This check was hand-cut, not fed. The paper's double-bonded, much too heavy to be a bank check. Magnetic ink, it's raised against my fingers, not flat. This doesn't smell like MICR, it's some kind of, uh, some kind of drafting ink. The kind you get at a stationery store.

Assistant Director Marsh:
Frank, would you be interested in working for the FBI's Financial Crimes Unit?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I've already got a job here, you know. I, uh, deliver the mail.

Assistant Director Marsh:
Frank, we have the power to take you out of prison. You'd be placed in the custody of the FBI where you'd serve out the remainder of your sentence as an employee of the Federal Government.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Under whose custody?

Carl Hanratty:
How'd you do it, Frank? How'd you pass the bar in Louisiana?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
[Frank continues to walk. Carl walks several paces behind] What are you doing here?

Carl Hanratty:
Listen...

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I'm sorry I put you through all this.

Carl Hanratty:
You go back to Europe, you're gonna die in Perpignan Prison. You try to run here in the States, we'll send you back to Atlanta for 50 years.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I know that.

Carl Hanratty:
I spent four years trying to arrange your release. Had to convince my bosses at the FBI and the Attorney General of the United States you wouldn't run.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Why'd you do it?

Carl Hanratty:
You're just a kid.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I'm not your kid. You said you were going to Chicago.

Carl Hanratty:
My daughter can't see me this weekend. She's going skiing.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
You said she was four years old. You're lying.

Carl Hanratty:
She was four when I left. Now she's 15. My wife's been remarried for 11 years. I see Grace every now and again.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I don't understand.

Carl Hanratty:
Sure you do. Sometimes, it's easier living the lie. [Frank stops, Carl catches up]

Carl Hanratty:
I'm going to let you fly tonight, Frank. I'm not even going to try to stop you. That's because I know you'll be back on Monday.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Yeah? How do you know I'll come back?

Carl Hanratty:
Frank, look. Nobody's chasing you.

Carl Hanratty:
There's impressions on every line... looks like the original amount was for $60...

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
[walks up and takes magnifier] Mind if I take a look?

Carl Hanratty:
[looks up] Cashed in Flagstaff a week ago. Cost the bank $16,000.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
It's a real check.

Carl Hanratty:
Yeah. Yeah, it's been washed. The only thing original is the signature.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
But it's perfect, Carl. I mean, this isn't hydrochloride or bleach.

Carl Hanratty:
No. Something new. Maybe a nail polish remover where the acetone removes the ink that's not been printed?

Carl Hanratty:
How did you do it, Frank? How did you cheat on the bar exam in Louisiana?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I didn't cheat. I studied for two weeks and I passed.

Carl Hanratty:
Is that the truth, Frank? Is that the truth?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I'll bet this guy steals checks out of mailboxes. He washes off their names and he puts on his own.

Carl Hanratty:
You're saying he's a local?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Well, if it were me, you know, I'd call the bank first... check out the balance...

Carl Hanratty:
Make sure there's enough money in there to make it worth your while...

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
You know, Carl, I think this guy's pretty smart.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Now, all we have to do is catch him.

Frank Abagnale Jr.:
You're gonna have to catch me first!

Frank Abagnale Jr.:
An honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be afraid.

Carl Hanratty:
[When asked why Frank won't flee to New York or Atlanta] Because I'm not in New York. I'm not in Atlanta.

Carl Hanratty:
How'd you do it Frank? How did you cheat on the bar exam in Louisiana?

Carl Hanratty:
He's a kid. Our unsub is a kid. That's why we couldn't match his prints. That's why he doesn't have a record. Now, I want you to contact the NYPD for every all-points juvenile runaways in New York City. And don't forget the airports. He's been kiting checks all over the country.

Carl Hanratty:
Do you want to hear me tell a joke? [yes!] Knock Knock. [Who's there?] -Go F*** Yourself.

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
To da moon!!

Frank Abagnale Sr.:
Where are you going tonight, Frank? Some place exotic? Tahiti, Hawaii?

Tagline:
The true story of a real fake.