Cats Don't Dance

Tillie Hippo:
I hear that hippos are very big on Broadway.

Frances:
They're big everywhere, Darling.

Danny:
If we all work together, we can make our dreams come true. Let's show the world what we can do.

T.W.:
There's no use trying. Last night my fortune cookie said, "Give it up - you loser!"

Danny:
Looks like we'll be the only two cats on the ark.

Sawyer:
So much for preserving the species!

L.B. Mammoth:
Simple! It's Dimple!

Tillie Hippo:
Sawyer, what happened to you?

T.W.:
Did you walk under a ladder? Smash a mirror?

Cranston:
Have you looked in one lately?

Sawyer:
No, a cat crossed my path.

Tillie Hippo:
Really? Orange tabby?

Sawyer:
Yes.

Tillie Hippo:
Green vest?

Sawyer:
Uh huh.

Tillie Hippo:
Straw hat?

Sawyer:
Yes.

Tillie Hippo:
Oh, what a coinky-dink!

Sawyer:
How did you know?

Tillie Hippo:
Oh, hippo's intuition.

Danny:
But I thought Hollywood was always looking for new talent.

Woolie Mammoth:
Ah, ah, talented *people*, not animals.

Woolie Mammoth:
You see, the spotlight will never be on fellows like you and me, and it's foolish to think otherwise, Danny.

Cranston:
Look who's back! I wish he had himself stuffed!

Frances:
I know a divine taxidermist, darling. He's my first husband.

Danny:
What if I could get you an audition with L.B. Mammoth?

Sawyer:
L.B. Mammoth? Head of Mammoth Studios?

Danny:
I'm sure he'd appreciate good talent.

Cranston:
After nothing but Darla, he's gotta be starving for it!

Darla Dimple:
I... hate... *animals!*

Darla Dimple:
Especially that one!

L.B. Mammoth:
You animals will never...

Flanigan:
...nibble kibble in this town again!

Cranston:
Life here for animals is the pits. Always playing the scapegoat.

Woolie Mammoth:
Quickly forgoten.

Frances:
Working for scale.

Danny:
Then why are you still here? You're still here because you can't get over that feeling when... when you two dance together. When you play. When you sing. They've cursed you, humilliated you, even slammed the door on your face, but they haven't made you forget. Have they?

Danny:
Look at you standing there with the long, long face.

Danny:
I hear Farley Wink gets good parts for animals.

Frances:
If you call hanging from a hook a good part.

Danny:
Wow! My own dream come true.

Farley Wink:
Yeah, yeah. But remember: 10% of that dream is mine.

Darla Dimple:
They like it big, they like it loud / Maybe a little bit jazzy sometimes / Mister Pussycat, listen to me / You don't have to be good, but you had better be...

Max:
Get hot, Miss Dimple.

Darla Dimple:
Big and Loud! / Big and Loud! / Wanna make your mamma proud / Make it big / And / Loud!

Woolie Mammoth:
Did you know the peanut is not a nut at all? And not a pea, for that matter. It's rather odd that we call it a nut because it isn't a nut, you see. It's actually a member of the legume family. How about pea-legume? No, that doesn't make any sense, either. But whatever it is, it makes a splendid tea.

Danny:
All I want to do is the thing I love! Doesn’t everyone?

Danny:
Meow? [He can't believe that's his one line.] Is that it? Where's the rest?

Sawyer:
You're looking at it!

Danny:
But I thought this was a musical! We're supposed to sing and dance, aren't we?

Frances:
Oh, for the love of Moby Dick!

Sawyer:
Listen, tiger, this town has rules. Around here, cats say "meow."

Danny:
But that's so old hat. I'm sure no one would mind if I jazz this up a bit.

Sawyer:
All right, learn it the hard way.

[Danny purrs with a British accent, and then does a few impressions of various actors such as Edward G. Robinson.]

Danny:
Looks like we'll be the only two cats on the ark, huh? Pretty great, huh?

Sawyer:
So much for preserving the species! [to King Kong as he walks by] Hey, Kong, how's the picture coming?

King Kong:
Oh! Don't get me started!

Danny:
You know the King? Wow!

Darla:
[in rage after Danny upstages her] CUT! Cut, cut, cut!

Flanigan:
Cut? Oh, yes. Cut. cut.

Darla:
[shouting into the microphone] LET ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!

Flanigan:
Lower Miss Dimple! Lower her! Hurry hurry! Lower Miss Dimple!

[The crew drop Darla, send her crashing to the ground]

Flanigan:
Darla, darling. Honey...

Cranston:
[chuckles]

Darla:
[groan] Flanigan, the title of this movie is Little Ark Angel... [grabs Flanagan] Isn't it?!

Flanigan:
Yes; oh yes!

Darla:
And who here's an angel? [breaks Flanigan's glasses, then shakes him as she screams] CAN YOU TELL ME WHO HERE IS AN ANGEL?!

Flanigan:
Why you are Darla. Sweetheart, celebrity, darling [Darla rolls her eyes and chokes Flanigan] ACK! Angel.

Darla:
That's right! I AM an angel! I... am... an... adorable... little... ANGEL!!!

Sawyer:
It's time somebody set that cat straight. Since he tap-danced into town, he's been nothing but trouble.

Danny:
Well, I guess this is gonna set me back a whole day. Maybe only half a day.

Sawyer:
Listen, I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but the fact is, since you–

Danny:
I don't get it. What happened in there, anyway? Did I hit a sour note? Because if I did, I could go back in there. I could fix it.

Sawyer:
You don't... Danny, they don't care.

Danny:
But I...

Sawyer:
Don't you get it? What is it with you? Why are you so determined to make a fool of yourself?

Danny:
What do you mean? All I wanna do is the thing I love. Doesn't everyone?

Sawyer:
It's not that simple.

Danny:
It is in Kokomo.

Sawyer:
Then maybe that's where you should have stayed.

Danny:
Is that Sawyer?

Woolie:
Poor Sawyer. I thought she'd be the one to make it. Such a dancer, with the voice of an angel.

Danny:
I never would have guessed.

Woolie:
That's what this town does to you, my boy. It wears you down.

Danny:
But I thought Hollywood was always looking for new talent.

Woolie:
Talented people, not animals. You see, the spotlight will never be on fellows like you and me. And it's foolish to think otherwise, Danny.

Danny:
Yeah. Foolish. Unless... [plunks a few piano keys] ...we can remind them.

Woolie:
Of what?

Danny:
Why they came here in the first place.

Security Guard:
[to the animals] All right, all of yas! Listen up! I only need you, water buffalo, for the Tarzan jungle stampede! The rest of yas, go home!

T.W.:
Well; today's shot! Might as well go home and clean!

[He retreats back into his shell and turns on a vacuum.]

[Max begins music number on piano]

Darla:
[singing] I've seen them come, and I've seen them go. There's one thing that I know. You gotta give the people what they want, or you'll wind up back in Kokomo, Nebraska.

Danny:
It's in Indiana, Miss Dimple.

Darla:
Whatever.

Bus Driver:
So, it's just you and me tonight, buddy. Hey, did you hear about the disaster at Mammoth Pictures? Animals, What a bunch of noodleheads. I mean, look at them. They have no future. What am I telling you, son? You'll be heading back home real soon.

Danny:
Stop the bus!

Bus Driver:
Jeez! Why do you wanna stop for? We just barely got started.

Danny:
Exactly. See you in the movies.

Danny:
Sawyer?

Sawyer:
We're all behind you, Danny. 100%. Don't let them go, Tillie!

Tillie:
[Tillie is holding T.W., Cranston, and Frances in her arms] I got them!

Cranston:
Let go! Have you lost your mind?

Frances:
Release me you mad hippo!

Danny:
Wait.

Tillie:
One big happy family!

Danny:
Just a minute. Please.

T.W.:
[Looking at his fortunes] You will meet with disaster!

Danny:
Would you just listen to me?

Cranston:
I'll chew your ears off!

Danny:
Cranston!

T.W.:
The end is near! The fat lady sung!

Danny:
Look, if you're willing to accept what they can think of you, then you can go! [everyone gasps] I almost did.

Cranston:
Well, you should have! Life here for animals is the pits, always playing the scapegoat!

Woolie:
Quickly forgotten!

Frances:
Working for scale! [...See what the movie did there?]

Danny:
Then why are you still here?

Crantson:
Well, uh... [everyone pauses]

Danny:
Because you can't forget the feeling, can you? The feeling you have when... [Refers to Cranson and Frances] when you two dance together. [Camera switches to Woolie] When you play. [Danny motions to Sawyer] When you sing. They cursed you, humiliated you, and even slam the door in your face. But they still haven't made you forget. Have they?

T.W.:
[searches through his fortune cookie papers] They can smash your cookie, but... but you'll always have your fortune. [everyone grins] Huh.

Danny:
Come on. Let's go show 'em what we can do.

Tillie:
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Danny:
Wow; this is a dream come true!

Mr. Wink:
Yeah, but don't forget 10% of that dream is mine! WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!

Max:
How does the kitty cat go?

Danny:
[gulp] Meow?

Max:
VERY GOOD! [He smashes Danny into the ground.] Will that be all, Miss Dimple?

Darla:
For the moment. Thank you, Max!

[Darla falls through a trapdoor.]

Darla:
WHOA! MAX!

[Max is still flying on the Darla Dimple balloon, and passes the Eiffel Tower.]

Max:
OUI, MISS DIMPLE?!

Sawyer:
Like I said, dancing is a waste of time.

Danny:
What if I could get you an audition with L.B. Mammoth?

Sawyer:
L.B. Mammoth? Head of Mammoth Studios?

Darla:
WHAT?!

Danny:
I know he'd appreciate real talent.

Cranston:
After nothing but Darla, he's gotta be STARVING for it!

[Darla growls and groans, which melts her mudpack facial off her face.]

Sawyer:
You're dreaming, Danny!

Danny:
Maybe I am. But so were you, just a few minutes ago.

Darla:
Thanks for coming over, Donald.

Danny:
Uh, Danny.

Darla:
Oh, yeah. Danny. Animal cracker?

Danny:
Uh...

Darla:
No? More for me!

Cranston:
Goodbye, show biz; hello, farm life.

Tillie:
Well, at least there's always Broadway. Yeah! Broadway! I hear hippos are very big on Broadway!

Frances:
They're big everywhere, darling!

Sawyer:
Let's see. [She takes Danny's list] Go to Premiere. Check. Land a big part, check. Get the girl? Check.

[the two hold hands and attempt to kiss, but Flanigan arrives, and gets in between them; both grimace]

Flanigan:
Sweethearts! Darlings!

[L.B. pushes Flanigan aside]

L.B.:
Get a picture, boys! These kids will be making history!

Sawyer:
Sometimes I ask myself, "Why do I put up with this?"

Frances:
The glamour?

Sawyer:
What, this pig sty? No offense, Harry.

Pig:
None taken.

Sawyer:
Unless you're talking about the glamour of filing, the romance of typing.

Cranston:
[to a mailman] Will you get off my property?!

[Max has Danny cornered, but falls on top of the Darla balloon.]

Danny:
[holding the rope] How does the kitty cat go?

Max:
[smiles nervously] Meow?

Danny:
Very good. [let goes of the rope, popping the Darla balloon, sending Max flying]

Max:
MISS DIMPLE!!!

Narrator:
Once upon a time, there was a princess and a peasant. She lived atop a hill in a glittering castle. There she had a servant who kept her castle in order, selected and pressed her robes for the day, prepared her royal breakfast, and served it to her in her chambers. She had fame, she had fortune. She had product endorsements. But she was not what she seemed. On the other hand, in a humble village far away, the peasant had none of her luxuries. But he had a dream. So with a fond farewell from his closest friends, and gifts of good luck, best wishes and useless junk—although it's the thought that counts—his world was about to clash with hers, in a place called: Hollywood.

Max:
How does the kitty cat go?

Max:
Will that be all, Miss Dimple?

Max:
Get hot, Miss Dimple.

Darla Dimple:
I...HATE...ANIMALS! Especially [points at Danny] that one!

Darla Dimple:
Shut up, Max.

Darla Dimple:
[to Danny] You just get all your little friends at Friday at 3 and I'll take care of L.B. And let's leave this between us, shall we? I don't like to advertise my charitable work.

Darla Dimple:
I'm the star! [She glares at Danny.] You stupid, stupid cat! I should have drowned you all when I FLOODED THE STAGE! ['Flooded the stage' echoes through the speakers and the audiece overhears the confession in shock as Darla, realizing she had been exposed, mischievously smiles, hugs Danny and kisses him]

Darla Dimple:
[last words as she falls through the trap door] WHOA!!! MAX!!!

Danny Cat:
[singing] Hollywood! Where the streets are paved with gold, where the kiddies never grow old! Right here in Hollywood!

Danny Cat:
If you have any openings for a talented cat, I'm your man! Er...I mean, your cat!

Danny Cat:
Come on, Sawyer. Your life isn't back in that office. It's here. Dance with me?

Sawyer Cat:
I'm a secretary; not an actress.

Sawyer Cat:
No chow; no meow.

Sawyer Cat:
Hey Kong, how's it going?

Sawyer Cat:
[phone rings] Farley Wink's Animal Actors Agency. How can I help you? [listens] You need a lamb for the Moses picture? [listens as a lamb gets excited] Oh. A sacrificial lamb? [listens as the same lamb cringes in fear] Sorry! Fresh out! [hangs up] Every day, I ask myself; why do I put up with this?

Sawyer Cat:
What? This pigsty?!

Sawyer Cat:
Unless you're talking about the glamour of filing, the romance of typing.

Sawyer Cat:
Like I said, dancing is a waste of time.

Peabo Pudgemeyer (Pudge):
That ice thing is just my side job. The name's Peabo Pudgemeyer, but you can call me "Pudge." [bell rings] Oh. Time to start. Better get your costume!

Peabo Pudgemeyer (Pudge):
I was going to slug that big, dumb Max for you, but I didn't want to hurt the guy. And what's that Dimple kid's problem? I thought you were great today!

Peabo Pudgemeyer (Pudge):
Danny! The movie's over! Everybody's leaving! [looks at Danny] Whoa; you're a mess!

Frances Albacore:
Oh, for the love of Moby Dick!

Frances Albacore:
I need a drink!

T.W. Turtle:
Fortune says, "Raging waters ahead!"

T.W. Turtle:
They can smash your cookie, but you'll always have...your fortune!

Woolie The Mammoth:
The spotlight will never be on fellows like you and me, and it's foolish to think otherwise, Danny.

[Danny enters the room]

Danny Cat:
Well, hi there, ma'am, how you doing?

Frances Albacore:
Poor.

Danny Cat:
What's your name there? Okay. I'm Danny, do you mind if I sit down? Oh, excuse me.

Tillie Hippo:
Cranston! Oh, don't mind him Danny. He was just leaving! [knocks Cranston aside] Hi, I'm Tillie, this is Cranston. [echoes] Cranston! Cranston! Danny! Danny! T.W.! T.W.! Danny! Danny! Frances! Frances! Danny! T.W.! Frances! Frances! [Danny becomes dizzy] So, new in town?

Danny Cat:
I just arrived. I hear Farley Wink gives good parts for animals.

Frances Albacore:
If you call hanging from a hook a good part.

Tillie Hippo:
Well, at least it's part, huh?

T.W. Turtle:
There's no use trying, Miss Tillie. My fortune cookie last night said, "Give it up, you loser."

Frances Albacore:
I need a drink.

Danny Cat:
All right, now, let's see. Go to Hollywood, check.

Tillie Hippo:
What are you got there?

Danny Cat:
Well, this is a plan I worked out. You see, I figure if I work really hard by Friday, I'll land my first big part. Well, that's how it worked for you, right?

Frances Albacore and Cranston Goat:
Oh, sure! Right! Oh, right!

Cranston Goat:
Why, not Thursday?

Tillie Hippo:
Now, Danny, you just go in and let Mr. Wink know you're here. They're casting a big Noah's Ark movie. Lots of work for animals. Oh, your tie is a little crooked. Wait a minute. Straighten you up, dust you off and perfect. Good luck. [snort laughs]

Danny Cat:
Thanks a lot!

Farley Wink:
[first words] Look, you big ape! I need those two monkeys for another picture! Hello, what is it? You caught me at a bad time; I'm casting the Ark picture! Get off the line! Yes, hello! Wink here. [Mumbles in agree as he talks through telephone]

Danny Cat:
Mr. Wink?

Farley Wink:
Yes?!

Danny Cat:
If you have any openings for a talented cat, I'm your man.

Farley Wink:
Uh-huh?

Danny Cat:
I mean, your cat.

Farley Wink:
All right! Send over two chickens and two lions, but don't send them over in the same car this time! Sheesh! Okay, let's see now. [starts yammering] Burros, camels, caribou, cats. Say you! Can you play a cat?

Danny Cat:
I am a cat!

Farley Wink:
How would you like to be in the next Darla Dimple picture?

Danny Cat:
[gasps] The Darla Dimple? America's Sweetheart, Lover of Children and Animals?

Farley Wink:
One and the same, kid. One and the same. Just sign here, here, here, here, and here, and here, and here, and here... [yammers] ...and over there and down the middle.

[Sawyer opens the door, looking wet and annoyed from the fountain]

Tillie Hippo:
Sawyer? What happened to you? [giggles]

T.W. Turtle:
Did you walk under a ladder? Smash a mirror?

Cranston Goat:
Have you looked in one lately? [she is not amused]

Sawyer Cat:
No, a cat crossed my path.

Tillie Hippo:
Really? Orange Tabby?

Sawyer Cat:
Yeah.

Tillie Hippo:
Green vest?

Sawyer Cat:
Yes.

Tillie Hippo:
Straw hat?

Sawyer Cat:
How did you know?

Tillie Hippo:
Ooh, hippo intuition. [snort laughs]

Farley Wink:
...and initial this.

Danny Cat:
Wow; this is a dream come true!

Farley Wink:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't forget: percent of that dream is mine! Welcome to Hollywood!

Sawyer Cat:
Farley Wink's Animal Agency, can I help you? You need a lamb for the Moses picture?

Lamb:
Yeah!

Sawyer Cat:
Oh, a sacrificial lamb?

Lamb:
No, no...

Sawyer Cat:
Sorry fresh out. Everyday I ask myself, "Why I put up with this?"

Frances Albacore:
For the glamour.

Sawyer Cat:
What, this pigsty? No offense, Herb.

Herb Pig:
None taken.

Sawyer Cat:
Unless of course, you're referring to the glamour of filing. The romance of typing. Tillie, what are you doing?

Tillie Hippo:
Oh, I'm just fixing you up. You'll wanna look pretty in case you meet someone nice.

Sawyer Cat:
Yeah, right. As if he'll come waltzing right through that... [slammed in her face]

Farley Wink:
You're gonna be fine, kid. You're the cat's meow. You can meow, can't you? [snickers] WHERE'S SAWYER?! Oh, Sawyer, sweetie, baby!

Sawyer Cat:
Whatever it is, the answer is no.

Farley Wink:
I'm in a jam.

Sawyer Cat:
[collects her papers she dropped] Too bad.

Farley Wink:
Can't find a female cat for the picture.

Sawyer Cat:
[removes cigar from Farley's mouth] Tough tabby.

Farley Wink:
So guess who gets to fill in?

Sawyer Cat:
Hmm, you?

Farley Wink:
Nah, I only fill in for those dashing Clark Gable types.

Sawyer Cat:
Frankly, Clark, I don't give a...

Farley Wink:
Sawyer!

Sawyer Cat:
I'm a secretary, not an actress.

Farley Wink:
Give you Sundays off.

Sawyer Cat:
Never work Sunday.

Farley Wink:
Double time.

Sawyer Cat:
Triple.

Farley Wink:
Triple.

Sawyer Cat:
There an echo?

Farley Wink:
You're pushing me!

Sawyer Cat:
No chow, no meow.

Farley Wink:
Okay, okay, triple time! Here's your partner, he's new in town, be nice!

Sawyer Cat:
Oh, forget it!

Farley Wink:
[last words] Uh-huh, a deal's a deal. Now, get on over to Mammoth Pictures! [snickers]

Danny Cat:
Wow, you're... you're soaking wet! Is it raining outside? Because it was sunny when I came in, and back where I come from... Oh, here, let me get the door for you. Where I come from, you see clouds first.

Sawyer Cat:
Stay.

Danny Cat:
After you. And then the rain comes after it. Ha ha ha!

Sawyer Cat:
[suddenly, the door closes and tail's hurt] YEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!! [glares at Danny]

Danny Cat:
Heh, heh, I'm sorry. Miss?

Security Guard:
[to the animals] All right, all of you! Listen up! I only need you, water buffalo, for the Tarzan jungle stampede! The rest of you, go home!

T.W. Turtle:
Well, today's shot! Might as well go home and clean!

[He retreats back into his shell and turns on a vacuum, Sawyer types in the office.]

Danny Cat:
Here's our chance, Pudge. Come on! Hey, everybody!

T.W. Turtle:
Huh?

Cranston Goat:
Oh, look who's back! I wish he'd get himself stuffed.

Frances Albacore:
I know a divine taxidermist darling. Did my first husband.

Danny Cat:
[song to Animal Jam plays] Come on, everybody, gather around! Don't let this old town get you down. Look at you standing there with the long, long face.

Horse:
[to another horse] Hey, he must be talking to you.

Danny Cat:
You take this and you take that! Come over here, T.W., and put on this hat! If we all work together we can make our dreams come true! Let's show the world what we can do. Pudge?

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
Yeah! [plays drums]

Animal:
Boogie with me!

Danny Cat:
[singing] I got rhythm in my feet / I got rhythm in my heart and soul / I got rhythm, hot and sweet / Sometimes rhythm makes me loss control!| Ha cha chattity cha! / I... want everyone to have all the fun / That I have / I've got rhythm / So do you!| Let's turn it on / And show what we can do.

Tillie Hippo:
Bye!

[The animals dancing while Tillie snaps Danny. Meanwhile, Max brushes Darla on his face]

Darla Dimple:
Perfect! How could you possibly improve a face like this? What is that hideous racket?

[The animals dancing while then the animals singing and dancing]

Cranston Goat:
Look at them. I'm ashamed to be an animal.

Frances Albacore:
Oh, shut up, you old nanny, and show old Franny what you got.

[Cranston and Frances dancing]

Cranston Goat:
Whoo-pee!

[Danny climbs the ladder and the light dust. Sawyer types the paper on the desk]

Sawyer Cat:
Huh? [music plays and she sees the animals; screams]

Cranston Goat:
Come on, Sawyer. Grab a partner and do-si-do.

Danny Cat:
Hey, Sawyer, dance with me? I hear you're a natural.

Sawyer Cat:
Who told you that?

[Woolie trumpets]

Sawyer Cat:
Listen, Danny, it's a waste of time! You'll never get to dance in the movies.

Danny Cat:
Movies? Did I say movies? No, we're just having fun.

Sawyer Cat:
Yeah, sure, forget it.

Darla Dimple:
Look at those fools. Laughable isn't it Max? Max? [Max dancing and gasps] Max! [growls]

Sawyer Cat:
Hmm. [dancing]

Danny Cat:
Not bad, a little rusty, but hey, who's perfect?

Sawyer Cat:
Rusty? [they all dancing] I'll give you rusty!

[Danny and Sawyer while dancing]

Darla Dimple:
Thanks for coming over, Donald.

Danny Cat:
Uh, Danny.

Darla Dimple:
Oh, yeah. Danny. Animal cracker?

Danny Cat:
Uh...

Darla Dimple:
No? More for me! I wanted to apologize for what Max did the other day. He's so bad sometimes.

Max:
Ow...

Danny Cat:
No, it's alright, Miss Dimple. Really.

Darla Dimple:
No, no, no, it was terrible, awful, cruel! Inapprotilaly violent. And I want to make it all up to you.

Danny Cat:
No, no, you don't have to.

Darla Dimple:
Oh, I insist! Is there anything you need?

Danny Cat:
No...

Darla Dimple:
Isn't there something I could do for you?

Danny Cat:
I don't think so.

Darla Dimple:
Isn't there a certain someone who runs a certain studio that I could introduce you to?

Danny Cat:
Well, is there anyway that you can arrange for me and the other animals to perform for L.B. Mammoth?

Darla Dimple:
Why, Denis! I'd be delighted. [gasps] Idea.

Max:
Ping.

Darla Dimple:
Maybe you can all do a number in my movie?

Danny Cat:
You? You mean it?

Darla Dimple:
Why, it's just what the picture needs.

Danny Cat:
Oh, I couldn't impose.

Darla Dimple:
I'll give you use of my sound-stage, my ark and anything else you might need.

Danny Cat:
Really?

Darla Dimple:
You get all your little friends ready, and I'll make sure L.B. sees your splashy debut.

Danny Cat:
Oh, thank you, Miss Dimple...

Darla Dimple:
Ah, ah, ah, call me Darla!

Danny Cat:
Thank you, Darla!

Darla Dimple:
Don't mention it. [giggles]

Danny Cat:
Sawyer could do a romantic balled and Woolie can even play a piano solo.

Darla Dimple:
Did you hear that, Max? Woolie, the elephant, can even play a solo!

Max:
Grah...

Danny Cat:
Don't you think that would be a good idea?

Darla Dimple:
Well, I think... you really want my advice?

Danny Cat:
Oh yes, oh yes, please!

Darla Dimple:
Well...

[Thunder booms]

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
Thunder and lightning. Check. Special effects all ready, Danny!

Danny Cat:
All right, everybody. Mr. Mammoth will be here any minute. Get into position. Remember, do it like you did in the alley. Only make it big and loud this time. And don't be nervous.

T.W. Turtle:
Nervous? Why would I be nervous?

Rabbit:
Give me that!

Sawyer Cat:
Well, well. Run of the sound-stage, use of Darla's ark, costumes... I don't know. Something seems fishy.

Frances Albacore:
I beg your pardon?

Sawyer Cat:
Sorry. It's just that I smell a rat.

Mouse:
Excuse me?

Sawyer Cat:
Oh, never mind.

Danny Cat:
So, you decided to join us, huh?

Sawyer Cat:
Me? Oh, no, no, no. This is never gonna work. Besides, how did you arrange all of this?

Danny Cat:
Let's just say a little angel's looking out for us.

Sawyer Cat:
Oh, boy.

Danny Cat:
Come on, Sawyer. Your life isn't back there in that office. It's here.

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
[Off-screen] It's 3:00, Danny!

Danny Cat:
Dance with me. See you on board.

Tillie Hippo:
Well?

Sawyer Cat:
I can't do this.

Tillie Hippo:
And?

Sawyer Cat:
I can't do this.

Tillie Hippo:
So?

Sawyer Cat:
I can't believe I'm doing this.

T.W. Turtle:
Fortune says "Rough waters ahead". [shivers]

Danny Cat:
Start the rain, Pudge. When L.B. shows up we'll come out singing and dancing!

Flanigan:
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I bring you the founder of Mammoth Pictures, Mr. L.B. Mammoth! Boom chachalaca boom chachalaca boom!

Reporter:
Gee whiz, Mr. Mammoth, what's the secret of your success?

L.B. Mammoth:
Simple! It's Dimple!

Flanigan:
Dainty Delightful Darla Dimple!

L.B. Mammoth:
Ah, the recipe for a Darla Dimple movie. Begin with one part adorable character in jeopardy.

[Inside the sound-stage, Darla has tied up Pudge]

Darla Dimple:
Sorry, penguin, but in everyone's life, a little rain must fall. Max, man the valves!

Max:
Yes, Miss Dimple.

[Max opens the water valve]

L.B. Mammoth:
Add two parts perky determination...

Darla Dimple:
More water, Max. More water!

[Max opens the water valve even more, causing the shower heads to burst open]

L.B. Mammoth:
Sprinkle in an air of innocence...

Darla Dimple:
Wind, Max! We must have WIND!

[Max rips off the fan guard, grips one of the blades, and pushes it down, creating wind]

L.B. Mammoth:
Stir in...

Darla Dimple:
More water!

[Max rips off the water valve, sending gallons of water gushing out into the flood]

L.B. Mammoth:
Add a pinch of...

Darla Dimple:
Thunder!

[Max grips a steam pipe, which starts bulging at the bottom. Two gauges and a bulb burn out, harming Pudge. The steam pipe eventually bursts, letting off steam]

L.B. Mammoth:
And an itsy-bitsy dash of...

Darla Dimple:
LIGHTNING!!

[Darla cackling evilly, Max slams the two lightning generators to create lightning]

L.B. Mammoth:
Mix them all together, and what do you get?

[He presses the open door button and the stage doors open, revealing a flooded stage which then spills out into the lot with they screaming in terror. Flanigan leaps into his boss' arms]

Flanigan:
[panicking] Mommy!

[The two friends scream their heads off, followed by the reporters, who scream and run for their lives. Then, the massive flood spills into the open lot, engulfing L.B. Mammoth and Flanigan. Back on the ark, Danny is at the steering wheel as he tries to steer the ark, while Woolie clings onto the crow's nest for dear life. The animal actors scream in terror as the ark does a corkscrew]

Danny Cat:
[panicking] Throw the anchor! Somebody, throw the anchor!

[Tillie tosses the anchor that catches Flanigan and L.B. Mammoth]

Tillie Hippo:
It's L.B.! [singing] We're on! Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag / And smile, smile, smile [bashing T.W. and Frances together]

Sawyer Cat:
[imitating Danny] "Your life isn't back there at the office". He says! "Dance with me". He says. [nags at him] You know what your problem is?! You're pushy, self centered, pig-headed... No offense, Herb.

Herb Pig:
None taken.

[The flood approaches a Samson and Delilah movie set]

Crewman:
Action. We're pushing, we're pushing... We're running, we're running!

[Danny and Sawyer are covered in Egyptian garb]

Sawyer Cat:
And, your driving stinks!

Danny Cat:
Well, maybe you could do better. Go ahead, you take it.

Sawyer Cat:
You take it.

Danny Cat:
You take it.

Sawyer Cat:
No, no, no.

Danny Cat:
If you think you know so much... Sawyer!

Sawyer Cat:
I don't want it.

Cranston Goat:
Well it doesn't get any worse than this. I was wrong. It's worse.

Tillie Hippo:
[gasps] Oh my. This is an awkward moment. I don't think we met. I'm Tillie. Mr. Mammoth, Cranston, Cranston, Mr. Mammoth, Flanigan, Cranston... AAAAAAH!!

Announcer:
What appears to be a tidal wave, folks, is actually just a special effect.

Sawyer Cat:
This has gone far enough! Give me that!

Danny Cat:
You didn't want it before! Give it!

Woolie Mammoth:
Excuse me I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but we're about to...

Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat:
Will you just stay out of this?!

Woolie Mammoth:
Ooh, sorry.

Danny Cat:
Let go. Let go.

Sawyer Cat:
I'm telling you...

Receptionists:
Good day, Mr. Mammoth.

L.B. Mammoth:
You animals will never...

Flanigan:
Nibble kibble in this town again!

Tillie Hippo:
I think they liked it.

Danny Cat:
[out of outfit] But it wasn't... [door gates closed] it wasn't their fault. [rumbling sounds]

Darla Dimple:
Nice working with you, Danny. [laughs evilly]

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
Let go! Let me go! [spits a water]

Darla Dimple:
Singing and dancing animals!

Sawyer Cat:
She was your little angel?

Danny Cat:
She said she wanted to help us.

Tillie Hippo:
And you believed her?

Danny Cat:
But I... But I... Woolie, I would... I'd...

Woolie Mammoth:
The spotlight will never be on fellows like you and me. Go home, son. Go home.

[Thunder, in a bar at the midnight]

Cranston Goat:
Goodbye, show biz; hello, farm work.

Tillie Hippo:
[in a bar] Well, there's always Broadway. Yeah! Broadway! I hear hippos are very big on Broadway!

Frances Albacore:
They're big everywhere, darling!

T.W. Turtle:
You know... this is all Danny's fault.

Cranston Goat:
You got it brother. That toe-tapping tom!

Frances Albacore:
I never trusted him. Too happy.

Tillie Hippo:
Well, I have to admit, we were better off before.

Cranston Goat:
Well, let's face it. That cat ruined our already miserable lives.

Tillie Hippo:
Well, he's just a... He's a crackerjack is what he is.

Cranston Goat:
She's right. You're doggone right.

T.W. Turtle:
Nothing but trouble, that guy.

Frances Albacore:
Horrid little being.

Cranston Goat:
Bad luck! Old happy feet better not show his face around here again.

[Musical montage, Danny typing in the office]

Cranston Goat:
[to a mailman] Will you get off my property?!

[Montage to musical, workers building the destruction, Darla cleaning his face, Darla Dimple his balloon and stage for the decorations in a movie theater]

Announcer:
All of Hollywood is represented here tonight for the premiere of Lil Ark Angel. How about a big handfor Joan Crawford, Cary Grant, W. C. Fields, Clark Gable, and L.B. Mammoth!

L.B. Mammoth:
Carry on!

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, how about a big hand for Darla Dimple! America's Sweetheart Lover of Children and Animals, and the star of tonight's gala Hollywood premiere, Lil Ark Angel. Darla Dimple's handprints are enshrined. In the forecourt of the Chinese Theater. Ladies and gentlemen, we're all gonna Gather inside the theater to see the world premiere of Lil Ark Angel starring Darla Dimple!

[Woolie trumpets in movie]

Frances Albacore:
Oh excuse me.

Cranston Goat:
Move!

Tillie Hippo:
Excuse me...

Woolie Mammoth:
Can I just squeeze past, son? Thank you, very much. [throws the people away] Ooh, so sorry.

Danny Cat:
They're in! The minute the movie ends, we go on.

Darla Dimple:
[in movie] Yeah, as you walk through your valley of despair, fear not. For I am your little Ark Angel, and I will look after each and every little, teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy one of you!

[Crowd "awww"s]

Cranston Goat:
Shoot me.

Darla Dimple:
[in movie] My radiant glow shall be a shining beacon to light the path for you poor... helpless animals. I shall lift you out of the depths of despair. My sweet cherubic voice will sing you a lullaby to soothe your fears. [Max's ear rings and angry face] Think of me as your guardian. Fear not, for I, the Lil' Ark Angel...

Danny Cat:
It's almost time! I'll go set the lights.

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
Check!

Darla Dimple:
[in movie] The weatherman says it's going to rain for days and nights! Hark, here comes a big fat rain cloud!

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
Danny... Look behind you, Danny. Danny...!

[Max has Danny cornered, but falls on top of the Darla balloon.]

Max:
Here, kitty kitty kitty! Nice kitty! Kitty! [laughs evilly] Huh?

Danny Cat:
[holding the rope] How does the kitty cat go?

Max:
[smiles nervously] Meow?

Danny Cat:
Very good. [let goes of the rope, popping the Darla balloon out, sending Max flying like Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story]

Peabo Pudgemeyer:
Danny! The movie's over! Everybody's leaving! We gotta... [looks at Danny] Whoa; you're a mess!

Darla Dimple:
Well... [yawns] It's kind of getting kind of more or less rather late!

Danny Cat:
You couldn't be more right! Hit it Pudge!

[Pudge plays saxophone]

Danny Cat:
[song to Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now plays; singing] Excuse me ladies and gentlemen / If you would be so kind.

Darla Dimple:
Humph!

Danny Cat:
[singing] I've got someone very special here / She's about to speak her mind.

Sawyer Cat:
[singing] I've got a song to sing / If you don't like my song / I'm gonna sing it anyhow / And I got a dream in my heart / Yeah / Nothing's gonna stop us now.

Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat:
[singing] Nothing's gonna stop us now / You take 4 and blackbirds / And bake 'em in a pie / Before you put 'em in the oven / Babe, you know they're gonna fly / And they'll get you.

Danny Cat:
[singing] They say curiosity killed the cat / I'm livin' proof that that's a lie...

Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat:
[singing] Now I'm gonna tell you why / Yeah / Nothing’s gonna stop us| Nothing's gonna stop us now / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now.

Sawyer Cat:
[singing] If I wanna dance I'll dance...

Danny Cat:
[singing] She'll dance!

Sawyer Cat:
[singing] Just as long as the law will allow / Dance and sing all night long| Nothing's gonna stop us now / Yeah / Nothing's gonna stop us now / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us| No, no, no, no, no / Yeah, yeah, yeah.

T.W. Turtle:
[singing] Look for me / Where there's the smell of danger| The smell of danger is my middle name / I've been very quiet / But I've got a lot to say| Believe me...

Frances Albacore and Cranston Goat:
[singing] If you ain't going with us / Then stay out of our way.

Tillie Hippo:
[singing] Oh! Been knocked down, cut down / Locked down, shut down| Held down, fell down / Every time!| Push back, push back / Denied a contract / When you got yours / You must have got mine!

All:
[singing] Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!

Sawyer Cat:
[singing] I gotta feeling inside! / Oooooooh, and it's love! Without a doubt!

Danny Cat:
[singing] Oh, I got someone I'm crazy about!

T.W. Turtle:
[singing] He's simply mad about her.

Danny Cat and Sawyer Cat:
[singing] Nothing's gonna stop us / No, no, no, one can stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!

All:
[singing] Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us / Nothing's gonna stop us now!| Nothing's gonna stop us! / Nothing's gonna stop us! / Nothing's gonna stop us now... / Come on.

Sawyer Cat:
[singing] Yeah, yeah... / Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

[The crowd cheering]

Max:
[last words as he flies into the distance onto the giant Darla Dimple balloon through Paris, France] OUI, MISS DIMPLE!

Danny Cat:
Sawyer could do a romantic ballet and Woolie can even play a piano solo.