Cats Don't Dance1997

[Danny enters the room]

Danny Cat:
Well, hi there, ma'am, how you doing?

Frances Albacore:
Poor.

Danny Cat:
What's your name there? Okay. I'm Danny, do you mind if I sit down? Oh, excuse me.

Tillie Hippo:
Cranston! Oh, don't mind him Danny. He was just leaving! [knocks Cranston aside] Hi, I'm Tillie, this is Cranston. [echoes] Cranston! Cranston! Danny! Danny! T.W.! T.W.! Danny! Danny! Frances! Frances! Danny! T.W.! Frances! Frances! [Danny becomes dizzy] So, new in town?

Danny Cat:
I just arrived. I hear Farley Wink gives good parts for animals.

Frances Albacore:
If you call hanging from a hook a good part.

Tillie Hippo:
Well, at least it's part, huh?

T.W. Turtle:
There's no use trying, Miss Tillie. My fortune cookie last night said, "Give it up, you loser."

Frances Albacore:
I need a drink.

Danny Cat:
All right, now, let's see. Go to Hollywood, check.

Tillie Hippo:
What are you got there?

Danny Cat:
Well, this is a plan I worked out. You see, I figure if I work really hard by Friday, I'll land my first big part. Well, that's how it worked for you, right?

Frances Albacore and Cranston Goat:
Oh, sure! Right! Oh, right!

Cranston Goat:
Why, not Thursday?

Tillie Hippo:
Now, Danny, you just go in and let Mr. Wink know you're here. They're casting a big Noah's Ark movie. Lots of work for animals. Oh, your tie is a little crooked. Wait a minute. Straighten you up, dust you off and perfect. Good luck. [snort laughs]

Danny Cat:
Thanks a lot!

Farley Wink:
[first words] Look, you big ape! I need those two monkeys for another picture! Hello, what is it? You caught me at a bad time; I'm casting the Ark picture! Get off the line! Yes, hello! Wink here. [Mumbles in agree as he talks through telephone]

Danny Cat:
Mr. Wink?

Farley Wink:
Yes?!

Danny Cat:
If you have any openings for a talented cat, I'm your man.

Farley Wink:
Uh-huh?

Danny Cat:
I mean, your cat.

Farley Wink:
All right! Send over two chickens and two lions, but don't send them over in the same car this time! Sheesh! Okay, let's see now. [starts yammering] Burros, camels, caribou, cats. Say you! Can you play a cat?

Danny Cat:
I am a cat!

Farley Wink:
How would you like to be in the next Darla Dimple picture?

Danny Cat:
[gasps] The Darla Dimple? America's Sweetheart, Lover of Children and Animals?

Farley Wink:
One and the same, kid. One and the same. Just sign here, here, here, here, and here, and here, and here, and here... [yammers] ...and over there and down the middle.

[Sawyer opens the door, looking wet and annoyed from the fountain]

Tillie Hippo:
Sawyer? What happened to you? [giggles]

T.W. Turtle:
Did you walk under a ladder? Smash a mirror?

Cranston Goat:
Have you looked in one lately? [she is not amused]

Sawyer Cat:
No, a cat crossed my path.

Tillie Hippo:
Really? Orange Tabby?

Sawyer Cat:
Yeah.

Tillie Hippo:
Green vest?

Sawyer Cat:
Yes.

Tillie Hippo:
Straw hat?

Sawyer Cat:
How did you know?

Tillie Hippo:
Ooh, hippo intuition. [snort laughs]

Farley Wink:
...and initial this.

Danny Cat:
Wow; this is a dream come true!

Farley Wink:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't forget: percent of that dream is mine! Welcome to Hollywood!

Sawyer Cat:
Farley Wink's Animal Agency, can I help you? You need a lamb for the Moses picture?

Lamb:
Yeah!

Sawyer Cat:
Oh, a sacrificial lamb?

Lamb:
No, no...

Sawyer Cat:
Sorry fresh out. Everyday I ask myself, "Why I put up with this?"

Frances Albacore:
For the glamour.

Sawyer Cat:
What, this pigsty? No offense, Herb.

Herb Pig:
None taken.

Sawyer Cat:
Unless of course, you're referring to the glamour of filing. The romance of typing. Tillie, what are you doing?

Tillie Hippo:
Oh, I'm just fixing you up. You'll wanna look pretty in case you meet someone nice.

Sawyer Cat:
Yeah, right. As if he'll come waltzing right through that... [slammed in her face]

Farley Wink:
You're gonna be fine, kid. You're the cat's meow. You can meow, can't you? [snickers] WHERE'S SAWYER?! Oh, Sawyer, sweetie, baby!

Sawyer Cat:
Whatever it is, the answer is no.

Farley Wink:
I'm in a jam.

Sawyer Cat:
[collects her papers she dropped] Too bad.

Farley Wink:
Can't find a female cat for the picture.

Sawyer Cat:
[removes cigar from Farley's mouth] Tough tabby.

Farley Wink:
So guess who gets to fill in?

Sawyer Cat:
Hmm, you?

Farley Wink:
Nah, I only fill in for those dashing Clark Gable types.

Sawyer Cat:
Frankly, Clark, I don't give a...

Farley Wink:
Sawyer!

Sawyer Cat:
I'm a secretary, not an actress.

Farley Wink:
Give you Sundays off.

Sawyer Cat:
Never work Sunday.

Farley Wink:
Double time.

Sawyer Cat:
Triple.

Farley Wink:
Triple.

Sawyer Cat:
There an echo?

Farley Wink:
You're pushing me!

Sawyer Cat:
No chow, no meow.

Farley Wink:
Okay, okay, triple time! Here's your partner, he's new in town, be nice!

Sawyer Cat:
Oh, forget it!

Farley Wink:
[last words] Uh-huh, a deal's a deal. Now, get on over to Mammoth Pictures! [snickers]

Danny Cat:
Wow, you're... you're soaking wet! Is it raining outside? Because it was sunny when I came in, and back where I come from... Oh, here, let me get the door for you. Where I come from, you see clouds first.

Sawyer Cat:
Stay.

Danny Cat:
After you. And then the rain comes after it. Ha ha ha!

Sawyer Cat:
[suddenly, the door closes and tail's hurt] YEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!! [glares at Danny]

Danny Cat:
Heh, heh, I'm sorry. Miss?