Charlie Chan in the Secret Service

Charlie Chan:
When alibi pushed at me, always suspect motive in woodpile.

Charlie Chan:
Detective without curiosity is like glass eye at keyhole - no good.

Charlie Chan:
Man who never leave wheelchair should never wear out shoe leather.

Tommy Chan:
If you're stuck, I'll help you out.

Charlie Chan:
You are like business end of water spout - always running off at mouth.

Birmingham Brown:
Talk? Mr. Chan, I'm so scared I can hardly gulp!

Charlie Chan:
[referring to Tommy and Iris] Children go through life with same tact as tornado.

Charlie Chan:
If man places self in way of finger of suspicion, must not be surprised if he receive poke in the eye.

Paul Arranto:
You suspect me?

Charlie Chan:
Suspicion like rain - fall upon just and unjust. You protect yourself with umbrella of innocence, but at moment I'm afraid your umbrella have big leak.

Tommy Chan:
Mrs. Hargue, maybe you've been to Smyrna, too?

Mrs. Hargue, Housekeeper:
Spent two months there once. A very dull place where nothing ever happens excepting when it rains.

Tommy Chan:
And then what happened?

Mrs. Hargue, Housekeeper:
[laconically] It rains.

Charlie Chan:
May learn something of Germans and Japanese here.

Sgt. Billings:
All I wanna know about them is what I can get lookin' over a rifle sight.

Charlie Chan:
Most excellent viewpoint!

Charlie Chan:
How can man walk around after he is dead?

Charlie Chan:
You are David Blake, D.P.E. What does that stand for, please?

David Blake:
Department of Political Economy. If you read your newspapers, you'd know more about me.

Charlie Chan:
I, uh, know what columnists say about you in morning paper: Quote, "What David Blake does not know about political economy would fill many books," unquote.

Charlie Chan:
Now, Mrs., uh, Winters. When Miss Arranto scream, you ran out into hall?

Mrs. Winters:
Well, not at first. I couldn't move. I was simply putrified.

Charlie Chan:
Excuse, please, I do not believe you mean "putrified."

Mrs. Winters:
My dear man, I KNOW what I mean.

Inspector Jones, Secret Service:
[laughs] Well, I'll be a pop-eyed pollywog.

Mrs. Winters:
So will I. Oh, my goodness, I mean no such thing!

Charlie Chan:
Very strange woman, Mrs. Hargue.

Tommy Chan:
Yeah, Pop. She's strictly icky, right off the cob and way off the beam.

Charlie Chan:
Could possibly speak English?

Iris Chan:
He means she's a slick chick gone to seed, Pop. She got bats in her head and bees in her bustle.

Charlie Chan:
Language sound very strange to elderly ears.

Tommy Chan:
Sure, Pop, but we're hepcats of the younger generation. You're Confucius and I'm Confucius Junior.

Charlie Chan:
Conficius Junior... Please, go.

Charlie Chan:
You told to remain in hall!

Tommy Chan:
We were upstairs looking for clues, Pop.

Charlie Chan:
Looking for clues upstairs while murderer downstairs shooting at honorable parent.

Tommy Chan:
Gosh, did they kill you, Pop?

Birmingham Brown:
You think if I'd asked your father to let me go home he'd let me?

Tommy Chan:
What you want to go home for?

Birmingham Brown:
I forgot something!

Tommy Chan:
What'd you forget?

Birmingham Brown:
I forgot to stay there.

Paul Arranto:
Murdered? But how?

Charlie Chan:
Electrocution.

Mrs. Winters:
Oh, how shocking!

Iris Chan:
That's the second man who's been murdered.

Birmingham Brown:
Mmmm-hm! It just ain't no future for a man in DIS house.

Tommy Chan:
Gee, I'm sleepy.

Birmingham Brown:
Me, too.

Iris Chan:
Then lie down somewhere. I'll wake you when the next corpse shows up.

Tommy Chan:
Hey, Pop.

Charlie Chan:
Quiet. Detective at work.