China Seas

Captain Alan Gaskell:
[to chief officer] It's bad enough to have a ship that looks like this and a captain who looks like me without having a chief officer who looks like you.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
[hearing someone in his bathroom] Who's in there?

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
China Doll, the gal that drives men mad.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
What are you doin' aboard?

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
Nothing alarming. Just showering dewdrops off the body beautiful.

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
But you taught me something I didn't even know myself. When a woman can love a man right down to her fingernails, she can hate him the same way.

Jamesy MacArdle:
Still crazy about that Gaskell, huh? Well, whenever you get tired of runnin; around with an Airedale and you want to run around with a St. Bernard, why you let me know.

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
Sure. Whenever I get lost in the Alps, I'll whistle for you.

Jamesy MacArdle:
All right, I'll come runnin'. Goodbye, Dolly.

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
See you later.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
Now wait a minute, Dolly! You and I are friends. We've had a lot of fun together, and, as far as I'm concerned, you're #1 girl in the Archipelago, but I don't remember making any vows to you, nor do I recall your taking any.

Jamesy MacArdle:
[to an unconcious Gaskell] There can't be any gold. You would have talked. Nobody can be that tough.

Jamesy MacArdle:
Lovin' you is the only decent thing I ever did in my entire life. And even that was a mistake.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
Did you ever see an English river?

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
No, I'm dumb at geography just like I am at everything else.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
Well, it's cool and clear. Put a stream like that alongside any river out here - dirty, yellow, muddy - you'll see the difference.

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
If I had a nickel's worth of pride, I'd...

Captain Alan Gaskell:
...as honest as the day is long.

Sir Guy:
I've had my eye on you for some time.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
Well take it off... I'm quitting the China seas as soon as we dock.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
I'll be over as soon as I get through. Anything you want?

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
Anything I... ? Toots, I got everything.

Sir Guy:
[the police superintendent has just taken Dolly to court] What about a nip to cool that aching brow ?

Captain Alan Gaskell:
No, no, fix one for yourself. I gotta get around to court. Somebody'll have to protect that judge.

Dolly 'China Doll' Portland:
I'd like to be the first to wish you the best. You'll need it.

Captain Alan Gaskell:
Someday you'll say something nice and never forgive yourself.

China Doll:
Say, there ain't enough dough in all Asia to make me change the way I feel about one guy.

Jamesy MacArdle:
Still crazy about that Gaskell, huh? Well, whenever you get tired of running around with an Airedale and you want to run around with a St. Bernard, why you let me know.

China Doll:
Sure. Whenever I get lost in the Alps, I'll whistle for you.

Jamesy MacArdle:
All right, I'll come running.

Captain Gaskell:
Now wait a minute, Dolly. You and I are friends. We've had a lot of fun together and as far as I'm concerned, you're a number one girl in the archipelago. But, I don't remember making any vows to you, nor do I recall asking for any.

China Doll:
Don't you get polite at me! When you start talkin' with your high hat on I - I know you mean it and - and it scares me. Say, who do you think you are anyway? If I had a nickels worth of pride, I'd...

Captain Gaskell:
If that's the way you feel about it, I'm not standing in your way.

China Doll:
That's just the soup I'm in, I don't feel that way at all. You - you dog!

[Smiles and give Gaskell a kiss]

Captain Gaskell:
Now, that's more like it.

Captain Gaskell:
You don't like my behavior ashore or aboard ship, you can get a new boy. In fact, I wish you would!

Sir Guy:
Ha! You wouldn't go if you could.

Captain Gaskell:
Wouldn't I? I'm so close to being back to England now, I can hear Big Ben chiming.

Sir Guy:
I've heard that from men for 50 years. It's only the weak ones that sneak out of the China Seas. It's the bullheads like you that stay on.

Captain Gaskell:
What have you got in your mouth?

Dawson:
Chewing tobacco, sir.

Captain Gaskell:
Its bad enough to have a ship that looks like this and a Captain that looks like me, without having a Chief Officer who looks like you!

Captain Gaskell:
Get on your horse, we're shoving off.

China Doll:
Say, why are you so anxious to get me out of your sight? Is that hunk of caviar makin' the round trip?

Captain Gaskell:
What hunk of caviar?

China Doll:
That redhead Russian princess that was on board from Singapore.

Captain Gaskell:
She isn't a Russian and she isn't a princess and I have my doubts about her hair color.

China Doll:
All right, toots, you - you win. I hope you have a good trip. Goodbye.

[Gives Gaskell a nice, long kiss]

Captain Gaskell:
All right. All right. If you've got your ticket and a job, I don't suppose I can...

China Doll:
Blimey! [Jumps into Gaskell's arms]

China Doll:
Okay, toots. I know you ain't got much time to fool around with passengers.

Captain Gaskell:
It's your own fault. You wanted to be one.

China Doll:
Except, maybe, that English dame?

Captain Gaskell:
You're becoming very observant.

China Doll:
I saw her when she came aboard. She looked like she was smellin' a dead fish or somethin'.

Captain Gaskell:
If I'd had a more definite tie, I might have behaved a bit more decently.

China Doll:
Say, if you ain't decent, boyfriend, you'll do until somethin' decent comes along.

Captain Gaskell:
Out here maybe. But, anywhere else in the world, we'd both be a little bit soiled.

China Doll:
Isabel? Isabel McCarthy?

Isabel McCarthy:
Yes 'em.

China Doll:
Would you say that I look like a lady.

Isabel McCarthy:
No, sir, Miss Dolly. I been with you all too long to insult you that way.

Isabel McCarthy:
You shore is got the right instincts, no matter what they all say.

China Doll:
What do they say?

Isabel McCarthy:
Oh, its just the minor talk. They say you's got yourself so hooked on to that Captain Gaskell, that he's shakin' himself like a wet hound dog and can't get you loose, no how. Yes, Miss, they do, like a wet hound dog.

China Doll:
Where is the big guy?

Chief Steward Ted Gary:
You mean the Captain, Miss? He went, eh, that is maybe he's escorting Mrs. Barclay,

China Doll:
Well, why doesn't she put a ring in his nose so she can lead him around easier?

China Doll:
How's it, toots? Well, come on and play dumb it you want. I just came in to tell you, I'm not gonna come around and pester you anymore. Look, I'm takin' all my cigarettes. You know, its moonlight outside. Gee, it's pretty. Ain't it funny we always fight when its moonlight and make up when its rainin'? Its about time for the rainy season, ain't it, toots? Aw, come on out of the trenches. I'm not gonna throw any bombs. I'm harmless.

Captain Gaskell:
Yes, of course, you're as harmless as a revolutionary.

China Doll:
Well, anyway, it won't be so lonely while Jamesy is aboard.

Captain Gaskell:
I hate to hear you talk like that Dolly.

China Doll:
Well, a gal's got to do the best she can with what's around.

Captain Gaskell:
You owe yourself more than that.

China Doll:
The trouble is boyfriend, there ain't any male Mrs. Barclays. So charming. So refined.

Captain Gaskell:
Well, the real trouble is, there aren't enough female Mrs. Barclays.

Captain Gaskell:
Now, lets quit good friends instead of like a couple of cab drivers after a drunken brawl.

China Doll:
Yeah, I guess that's the way it ought to be done. But, I ain't been brought up to do the right thing, like that English dame. All I can say is what's down inside of me. And I don't care how long you been carryin' the torch for her - you can't quit me any more than I can quit you! And you can kiss a stack of cookbooks on that!

Captain Gaskell:
Well, anyway, it'll be quieter in England.

Sir Guy:
Wait till you get there - if you ever do.

Captain Gaskell:
What's to keep me?

Sir Guy:
Well, I've been trying it for 30 years. But, there's something about this place. From my window, I can see the whole harbor of Hong Kong. Big ships coming. Big ships going. The China I know. The China - I've helped to make. On quiet nights, off in the hills, I can hear the sound of distant firing. They were at it when I came. And they'll be at it after I've gone. More guns won't stop them. Too many of them. And the only things they respect are courage and honor. Yes, and England's power! England's place here can never be any greater than the men who represent her.