China Smith

China Smith:
I'll give Kai Yee a fair chance - no tricks, no traps. If he's content with a fair tribute he can have it. The company is willing to pay it and I'll not stand in a man's way to turn a dishonest dollar... as long as it's not my own.

[first lines]

China Smith:
[narrating] The city of Singapore is only a stone's throw from the deep forest of the Malayan Peninsula. Alive with wild animals and guerilla bandits, this tropical jungle takes its daily toll of dead men. Now the Perak Company is anxious to come to an understanding with a certain Malayan bandit named Kai Yee and they need someone to deal with him. Now that somebody is me - China Smith by name.

Kuala:
You've caused us much trouble, Mr. Smith.

China Smith:
It was nothing.

Col. Salisbury:
Mr. Smith, am I correct in assuming that is the bribe money?

China Smith:
You are indeed.

Col. Salisbury:
Then you won't mind turning it over to Major Winters.

China Smith:
I mind a great deal, Colonel, but I'm outnumbered.

China Smith:
[narrating] Singapore is a free port. That's a heathen lie! You pay for everything here - and if you pay enough, you can buy anything... or anybody. Even a British army officer - if you can believe what you hear in the native cafes. And this may be true. At least the British army has hired a renegade beachcomber named China Smith to investigate the rumors. Now how would I be knowing all this? I'm China Smith.

[first lines]

China Smith:
[narrating] The Straits Settlement Rubber Company of Singapore expected to increase their business this year because Mr. Colo wouldn't be around to interfere. Mr. Colo was a rubber thief. Mr. Colo went to prison, complements of Mr. Smith. And if he steals any more rubber, he'll go back to prison, complements of Mr. Smith. Mr. China Smith, that is - at your service.

[Morley is having a run of bad luck playing roulette]

Morley:
The tide will change - it's a law of nature.

China Smith:
The tide isn't wired.

Croupier:
Do the gentleman care to complain about the wheel?

China Smith:
Would it do the gentleman any good? House rules - squeeze them until they scream.

Morley:
Do you really mean the game is dishonest?

China Smith:
You'd get a better split from a river pirate.

[China drags Morley, who has been drugged, into his hotel room]

China Smith:
When it comes to learning about native dives, experience counts more than advice.

China Smith:
I happen to be in the market for rubber myself - quite a lot of rubber. I could use, say...

Gresham:
Sorry, all contracted for - have been for quite a number of years and another four years to go and expect to renew.

China Smith:
The interests I represent will outbid anybody. Perhaps a certain amount could be *diverted* your way - for the right price.

Gresham:
Very interesting offer. Your people must be desperate for rubber.

China Smith:
Just... eager.

China Smith:
Hey, Captain Bligh!

Sampan Captain:
Why you call me that, Mr. Smith? Name no Captain Bligh.

China Smith:
Name no Mr. Smith, either.

[a sampan captain has just provided China with valuable information]

Sampan Captain:
You got a dollar, Mr. Smith?

China Smith:
A dollar? I thought they wiped out piracy, you pirate.

[Smith hands the sampan captain a coin]

China Smith:
Here - and may your sampan never sink... within sight of land.

[Smith is having his bloody bullet wound treated]

Chapman:
Mr. Smith, what happened?

China Smith:
Knicked myself shaving.

Morley:
Do you realize what will happen if your theory is proved correct?

China Smith:
Mm-hmm. They'll hang you.

Morley:
Yesss. But first, Smith, you'll get a bamboo coffin. Yes, that's an old Malay expression. The bandits leave all bodies in the jungle. After two days, there aren't even any bones.