Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers

Gadget:
I don't think you can blame them. After all, we are rodents.

[Harry, in human form, is scarfing down chicken legs at a restaurant]

Gadget:
This is too terrible to watch! His table manners are worse than Dale's!

[Nimnul, in wolf form, lunges to catch Chip and Dale, but misses]

Professor Nimnul:
My metamorphosizer! It's smashed! If I can't replace it, I'll be stuck as a wolf forever!

Dale:
[sing-song] Yoo-hooooo!

[Nimnul looks and sees Dale, waving cheerily and pointing at the intact metamorphosizer in his arms. Grinning, he grabs it and scrambles away as Nimnul lunges desperately after him]

Gadget:
You can't just take this car!

Harry:
Why not?

Gadget:
Well, for one thing, you don't know how to drive.

Harry:
Never too late to teach an old wolf new tricks!

Monterey Jack:
Uh, no offense, Gadget, love, but are you're sure you're finished?

Gadget:
Sure, I'm sure.

Monterey Jack:
Not like last time?

Gadget:
Oh, Monty, how many times do you think the wings can fall off a plane?

Monterey Jack:
I dunno, you tell me.

Monterey Jack:
Better lay off the nuts, lad. You are what ya eat, ya know.

Monterey Jack:
[in a Trojan cat with Dale] I've had nightmares about bein' inside cats, but they were nothing like this.

Monterey Jack:
Why do I feel like I'm a shrimp on the barbie!

Dale:
[seeing all the cats locked up] What is this place?

Monterey Jack:
A nightmare.

Chip:
Time to abandon dog.

Monterey Jack:
Well, they're all out and if I never see another cat it'll be too soon... Uh, no offense, kid.

Spunky:
'Course not, Mr. Monterey.

Prof. Nimnul:
[inside the mechanical dog] I wonder where my can-opener is.

[first lines]

Chip:
Do we have to go this fast?

Gadget:
Golly, Chip. It's the only way if we'll find out if the new Ranger boat will hold up.

Monteray Jack:
Who cares about the Ranger boat? I'm worried about whether *we'll* hold up.

Monty:
Give us a break love. Gandhi would want to take a swing at this kid.

Chip:
[aboard Professor Nimnul's "spaceship"] Hey, this spaceship is made of rubber. Do you know what that means?

Dale:
Uh, it's dishwasher safe?

Mole:
[Fat Cat hits a call button and his gang comes to his office] You called for us, Fat Cat?

Fat Cat:
No... I was testing my moron magnet.

Gadget:
This was a wonderful idea, Chip.

Chip:
Thanks Gadget, I thought you might enjoy a movie.

Dale:
HEY CHIP!

Chip:
Dale, what do YOU want?

Dale:
You guys want any of this stuff I got from the snack bar?

Chip:
Just sit back there and watch the movie. If we want something, we'll send you a smoke signal. [to Gadget] Now, where were we...

[Foxglove catches Dale in mid-freefall]

Dale:
I didn't know bats could do this.

Foxglove:
Do what?

Dale:
Fly when they're carrying so much weight.

Foxglove:
Uh oh!

Dale:
What?

Foxglove:
We can't!

Dale:
[Dale had fallen off of a tree branch] They think I'm clumsy or somethin'.

Foxglove:
[giggles] I can't imagine where they got that idea.

[something roars and pounds from the other side of the hideout's door]

Fat Cat:
How did that Ape find us? How did she track us down? Quickly, evacuation procedure M-F.

[everyone rushes to the window, but then stops]

Meps:
Uh, what does "M-F" mean?

Fat Cat:
[scrambling over their backs] ME FIRST!

[after Fat Cat's thugs kidnap Dale instead of a priceless kitten]

Fat Cat:
You idiots! Oh... why must all my brilliant plans be ruined, by those rinketing Rangers? Why? TELL ME! TELL ME WHY! WHY? WHY?

Dale:
Because good always triumphs over evil.

Fat Cat:
Oh, yeah?

Gadget:
We're the Rescue Rangers, a small, but efficient, battalion of do-gooders devoted to helping those in trouble. Would you like to see our news clippings?

Gadget:
If you believe in the ethereal theory that everything happens for a reason, then it wasn't your fault. Technically, however... you're a goof-up.

Monteray Jack:
[after eating all the cheese from their sandwiches] Just the smell of cheese and I lose control!

Dale:
Well, eat my Lunch again and *I'll* lose control!

Monteray Jack:
[Battling his cheese addiction] I'm in control... I'm in control! [weakening] I'm outta control... I'M OUTTA CONTROL!

Sugar Ray Lizard:
[to slaves] Hurry it up, you two. And no free samples.

Arnold Mousenegger:
Yeah. And Don't eat none neither!

Rat Capone:
Hey, you mugs. Them cheese-chisellers is back!

Sugar Ray Lizard:
Don't worry, boss. We'll make cream cheese outta 'em!

Arnold Mousenegger:
Yeah, and We'll beat 'em up too!

Rat Capone:
[Taunting Monty with the cheese, while Gadget is on the conveyer belt] The Brie, Monty, The Brie!

Monteray Jack:
[Snaps] Aaah! [shoves the cheese into Capone's mouth] I'll make *Debris* Outta *you! [shoves Capone into the gold pile]

Monteray Jack:
From now on, I'll mind My cheese and Q's [sniffs] Um,u h first thing tomorrow. [has a cheese attack, dives into water]

Gadget:
This time he's earned it. Right, guys?

Chip, Dale:
[Monty Impression] Too Right!

Sugar Ray Lizard:
[after eating all the cheese from their sandwiches] Just the smell of cheese and I lose control!

Monteray Jack:
Well, eat my Lunch again and *I'll* lose control!

[to his nephew, Normie]

Professor Norton Nimnul:
Haven't I told you never to play with my superweapons? You could devastate yourself.

Gadget:
Once I found a perpetual motion machine just lying in the trashcan. Of course, by then it had stopped moving.

Sgt. Spinelli:
Your shift was over a half-hour ago. Besides, what're they gonna do - steal a 400-ton statue in a pick-up truck?

Monterey Jack:
Cheese... popcorn!

Gadget:
I need you to try out a new invention for me.

Monterey Jack:
[retreating] Oh, not today, Gadget, love. I gotta, uh... I gotta...

Sgt. Spinelli:
Hey! There's that mouse!

Monterey Jack:
I gotta get outta here!

Monterey Jack:
Are you two fightin' again?

Chip:
Of course not. We're just having a spirited discussion.

Monterey Jack:
I dunno what's gonna be harder: findin' that statue, or keepin' these two from exterminatin' each other.

Roger Houston:
Deploy the first Satellite, Joy.

Joy Rider:
Roger, Roger.

Gadget:
[Wearing a glove as a makeshift spacesuit] This Spacesuit fits like a glove!

Monterey Jack:
Who's the bloke who had the party and forgot to invite me?

Monterey Jack:
Reminds me of the time I got shanghaied in Shanghai on a junk full of junk. I think I've been there twice.

Chip:
[a la Sherlock Holmes] The game is afoot!

Dale:
How are we gonna find the will if all you wanna do is play foot games?

Dale:
Where's the free toy car? I've been robbed!

Gadget:
You know what they say: "There's no such thing as a free lunch".

Dale:
This is *Breakfast*! I'm going back to that supermarket and get what's coming to me!

Chip:
Uh oh, you know what happens when Dale gets what's coming to him.

Monty:
Yeah, it usually comes right back at *us*!

Gadget:
Either way, thousands of little boys and girls are being disappointed. Not to mention hot headed chipmunks.

Tommy Chow:
Hu Yu!

Hu Yu:
Who, me, boss?

[at a trade show, to promote his new invention]

Prof. Nimnul:
SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY, OR I SHALL CRUSH YOU LIKE...! Oh, sorry. Old habits are hard to break.

[first lines]

Dale:
It sure is a lot of work getting ready for Monteray Jack's birthday party. But one thing makes it all worth it.

Gadget:
You mean knowing you've made Monty's birthday a special occasion?

Dale:
No. Eating the cake!

Gadget:
I'm not really sure how old Monty is. I hope he doesn't mind having just one candle.

Dale:
Monty won't care what's *on* the cake, as long as there's cheese *in* it.

Monteray Jack:
I smell *cheeeeeese*... cake.

Monteray Jack:
[sees Chip hovering inflated after swallowing the balloon he was blowing up] Better skip the cake, mate. You're puttin' on weight.

Dale:
[laughing with Zipper] Chip's just full of hot air.

Monteray Jack:
Is it somebody's birthday? [lifts the fallen banner] Crikey. It's *my* birthday. They sneak up on ya, don't they? Seems like only a year since the last one.

Monteray Jack:
Goin' after cheese? Now that's my idea of a party.

Prof. Nimnul:
Crowds always make me nervous. Uh, unless they're groveling at my feet.

Mole:
[Reading a cookbook] I don't get it. It says: "Separate two eggs" but it doesn't say how far apart to separate them.

Fat Cat:
Let me see that, you pinheads! "Take one cup flour, two cups milk, one pinch salt-" Don't tell me you pinched the salt!

Mole:
Of course not! Mepps pinched it.

Gadget:
If they'd straightened the angle out on that last curve, we'd have seen some real speed.

Chip:
That fake speed was plenty for me, Gadget.

Monterey Jack:
That had more twists than the Sunday snake stampede of '66.

Dale:
[having just collapsed dizzily after getting off the roller coaster] Yeah. Let's do it again.

Dale:
Let's us find the Cosmic Jackhammer first, and then go on the Jerk'n'Whirl.

Chip:
Right. Just as soon as my stomach gets off that last ride.

Monterey Jack:
She once told me I was goin' on a trip through time. And the very next day I fell off a grandfather clock.

Chip:
I think this is silly.

Gadget:
Well, I'm curious.

Cassandra:
And I am Cassandra.

Cassandra:
[to Zipper causing him to blush and laugh] I see you just as handsome as ever.

Monterey Jack:
And you're as pretty as a plate full of parmesean, Cassie.

Cassandra:
They want I should tell them their fortunes.

Dale:
Gosh, that's ESP.

Chip:
More like E Z Guess.

Cassandra:
So, you do not believe in the future, hm?

Chip:
The future? Ha! I'll believe it when I see it.

Cassandra:
Monterey Jack, you will shortly get a pink fur coat.

Monterey Jack:
Uh, well, not quite in line with me fashion sense.

Cassandra:
Monterey gets a pink coat and you get a tall dark stranger.

Gadget:
A tall dark stranger? Golly!

Chip:
[to Dale] I don't like the sound o'that.

Cassandra:
And one of you will fly.

Chip:
Let me guess. [glances at Zipper]

[entering the carnival's fun house]

Gadget:
Careful, Monty! That staircase looks...

[the steps flatten, sending Monty tumbling to the floor below]

Gadget:
...suspicious. Remember, this is a fun house.

Monterey Jack:
[sitting up, dazed] Yeah? So when does the fun start?

[Dale is flying the Ranger Wing]

Dale:
What's this?

Gadget:
That's the hover switch. It should turn the Ranger Wing into a helicopter.

Chip, Monty:
"Should?"

Monty:
Gadget's gone too far this time, Chip. She's got these blinkin' propellers facing the wrong way.

Chip:
She knows what she's doing, Monterey. I'm sure the Ranger Wing is perfectly safe.

Gadget:
Oh, darn. I'm always ending up with parts left over!

Chip:
Doesn't this thing have brakes?

Gadget:
Of course it does! But they just fell off a block ago...

Prof. Nimnul:
I'll become the Picasso of potatoes, the Svengali of spuds, or, dare I say it...? Mr. Potato Head!

Prof. Nimnul:
The small-minded fools are standing in the path of weird science!

Prof. Nimnul:
Time to rejoin the rat race, ya rotten rodents!

Dale:
[after watching an Episode of The Red Bagder] I can rescue anyone! [hops onto table which tilts, sending him to the floor]

Monteray Jack:
Yeah, but who's goin' to rescue *you*?

Dale:
[In his Red Badger costume] How do I look?

Gadget:
Kind of Dashing!

Monteray Jack:
Kind of Red!

Chip:
Kind of *Stupid!*

Sugar Ray Lizard:
[after Rat Capone captures Chip] Great Apprehension, Boss.

Arnold Mouseneggar:
Yeah, and You caught him good, too.

Dale:
[after another vision from the Red Badger] Hey, Guys! I can lead you; I just need to follow in the footsteps of a true hero!

Gadget:
Chip?

Dale:
No! [waves sword around] The Red Badger!

Monteray Jack:
I'd rather follow a Hero Sandwich.

Sugar Ray Lizard:
Hurry it up, *Alvin*!

Chip:
The *name* is *Chip!

Sugar Ray Lizard:
Whatever! You chipmunks all sound alike.

Sugar Ray Lizard:
[after snaring Gadget with his tale] So you're the Wench behind this Winch?

Gadget:
[to Dale in drag, after he tells her his plan to free the others] Promise me when this over, you'll get help.

Dale:
What'll we do now?

Gadget:
I have and idea this time!

Dale:
Hope this doesn't make me break another nail.

Rat Capone:
[after Dale's wig falls off] Hey! What gives?

Dale:
Obviously My Wig! [runs]

Arnold Mouseneggar:
[after Dale is washed away into the Pipe] We won't be bothered by his presence, and we won't see him again neither!

Rat Capone:
[to Gadget] If it ain't my favorite little treasure! Why don't you toss these losers overboard for a winner, Dollface? You could be my first mate.

Gadget:
How'd you like a swift kick in the poop deck?

Gadget:
I've got the key!

Rat Capone:
*You* got *Trouble! That's what Youse got. If it's anything I hate, It's *brave* slaves! Now back to work, Alla yas! [pulls Gadget to him] Except you, Dollface. I'm gonna give you *one* last chance to be my moll

Gadget:
I'd rather get caught in a Mousetrap!

Dale:
How come Chip gets to sit in the front seat next to Gadget?

Monty:
'Cause that's where the steering wheel is.

Gadget:
Hop inside, guys, and I'll show you how this thing works. Or at least how it's supposed to work.

[Paddling after the Rescue Rangers down a river]

Meps:
Hey boss, what's that?

Fat Cat:
I don't want to hear it!

Meps:
There, in the water?

Fat Cat:
Keep paddling, I don't want to hear it!

[There is a crash, and the boat starts to sink]

Fat Cat:
Wh-what happened?

Mole:
You don't want to hear it.