CHO Revolution

Margaret Cho:
I can't wear this, I have to give up my crown after I said the word "foreskin".

[takes off her crown]

Margaret Cho:
And this thing, too, I don't need this.

[takes off her beaded headress]

Margaret Cho:
And, uh, that's not my hair.

[takes off her wig, revealing braids underneath. Someone in the audience lets out a yelp of surprise and the rest of the audience cracks up]

Margaret Cho:
What, y'all think I'd get such a wonky haircaut like this? Hey, Bruce, can you help me?

[Bruce comes on and helps Maragaret take off her boots. Margaret gives the boots and everything she wore on her head back to Bruce]

Margaret Cho:
Take all of this...

Bruce Daniels:
Sure. [leaves]

Margaret Cho:
Bruce Daniels, everybody! [audience applauds]

Margaret Cho:
There was this girl, she was like 13, and she was looking at my poster and she said "Ew! Who wants to go see the chew-chow-ching-chong lady? I'm not gonna go see the chew-chow-ching-chong lady. Are you gonna go see the chew-chow-ching-chong lady?"

[as herself again, Margaret puts on a dangerous expression]

Margaret Cho:
I'm gonna go see the chew-chow-ching-chong lady!

[as girl again, turns]

Margaret Cho:
AAAAH!

Margaret Cho:
[as self] And she runs into the bathroom, and I'm standing outside the door like...

[claps her hands and makes "bring it on" gestures]

Margaret Cho:
In this one show, I said "wouldn't it be nice if the President could say nuclear correctly?" And some woman's like "how dare you say that about our President!" And she wrote this petition, it said "I Hate Margaret Cho" and she had all her friends sign it, and she sent it to me. So I wrote a petition, it said "F*** You" and I had all my friends sign it...

Bruce Daniels:
Like, some straight white guy comes up to me and says, "Dude. Dude. Dude. You're like f***in' whiter than I am." Okay, first of all, you're over 30, you can't say dude anymore. Second, just because I use proper English doesn't make me whiter than you, just smarter than you.

[Midway through his act, Bruce lets slip that he's gay. Audience applauds]

Bruce Daniels:
Oh, like you couldn't tell from the shirt and the pants.