Columbo: Candidate for Crime

Lt. Columbo:
That much, huh?

Shelly:
Wasn't the parts so much as the time it took. It's not easy to work on a car in that condition.

Lt. Columbo:
Will you take a check?

Shelly:
You haven't got a credit card?

Lt. Columbo:
I'm from the police. Lieutenant Columbo.

Shelly:
What, are you... undercover or something?

Lt. Columbo:
No, I'm underpaid.

Nelson Hayward:
Harry, I need her!

Harry Stone:
You don't need anybody but me! You can get rid of anybody but me, because I know where the bodies are buried, Nels. I buried 'em for you!

Lt. Columbo:
Evening, Commissioner.

Deputy Commissioner:
You're late, Lieutenant.

Vickie Hayward:
Sometimes you frighten me.

Nelson Hayward:
What are you talking about?

Vickie Hayward:
That act you put on.

Nelson Hayward:
Act?

Vickie Hayward:
Mm-hmm, when you heard about Harry's being dead.

Nelson Hayward:
I was shocked!

Vickie Hayward:
That's what frightens me. You were so convincing! I know how you despised him!

Nelson Hayward:
Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant, don't misunderstand. You're a very nice man, I like you very much, but I would hate to have to depend upon you if I was in a hurry for something.

Lt. Columbo:
Geez, you know that's what my wife says...

Nelson Hayward:
I'm sure she does. Get to the point, Lieutenant.

Lt. Columbo:
Right.

Lt. Columbo:
You know, isn't it funny the way people react under the stress of a situation?

Lt. Columbo:
Yeah, this other thing is a genuine puzzle. I don't see any answer to this one.

Nelson Hayward:
Well, maybe I can help you.

Lt. Columbo:
Let's hope so, sir.

Nelson Hayward:
For your sake, or mine?