Columbo: Murder Under Glass

Lt. Columbo:
Oh, I do a little cooking, sir. Nothing fancy. Mrs. Columbo, she's a remarkable woman. She has lots of interests... but cooking isn't one of them. She gives me plenty of encouragement.

Albert:
Lieutenant, we're behind you, all of us. And I want you to know this: as long as you're on this case, you will never go hungry.

Lt. Columbo:
The boy said something about an argument and a lot of shouting. What was that about, sir?

Paul Gerard:
It was a trivial matter.

Lt. Columbo:
Yes, sir. Most arguments seem to start that way.

Lt. Columbo:
Oh, there's just one other thing...

Lt. Columbo:
Sorry, Mr. Gerard, but I can't let you get away with it.

Paul Gerard:
What?

Lt. Columbo:
Your recipe. You didn't think I'd remember, did you? It's onion sauce.

Lt. Columbo:
Well, this is quite a coincidence. I had no idea you were here.

Paul Gerard:
Would you care to join me?

Lt. Columbo:
Well, I'm really not hungry, sir. I just polished off three mushrooms stuffed with crab meat. But I'll join you anyway. If you're anything like me, you're not too crazy about eating alone.

Miss Choy:
Lieutenant, you forgot your fortune cookie.

Lt. Columbo:
To tell you the truth, ma'am, I could use some good news.

Lt. Columbo:
"Cheer up. There is more than one fish in the sea." That's the kind I always get. Once, I would like it to say I'm gonna be rich and go away on a long trip. Just once.

Paul Gerard:
I'm beginning to regard you as an old acquaintance, Lieutenant.

Lt. Columbo:
Well, thank you very much, sir. I'm beginning to know you pretty well, too.

Lt. Columbo:
That dim sum reminds me of the kind I used to have at home.

Miss Choy:
At home, Lieutenant?

Lt. Columbo:
Right around the corner from Chinatown was an Italian neighborhood. When I was a kid, I bet I had more eggrolls than cannelloni.

Paul Gerard:
What makes you think Vittorio was in some sort of trouble?

Lt. Columbo:
Mainly because he was murdered, sir. The two, trouble and murder, they seem to go together. At least that's been my experience, sir.

Paul Gerard:
I wanted you to have one last taste of Tokyo before you begin your tour of American restaurants.

Kenji Ozu:
They won't believe this when I send back the story. They think I'm eating hot dogs and grits.

Eve Plummer:
Have you ever eaten grits?

Kenji Ozu:
No, not yet.

Eve Plummer:
Don't bother.

Lt. Columbo:
I expected to see you at Mr. Rossi's funeral. I guess you couldn't make it.

Paul Gerard:
I never go to funerals. I prefer to remember my friends as I saw them last.

Lt. Columbo:
I believe Mr. Rossi was yelling at you when you saw him last. Isn't that right, sir?

Paul Gerard:
You mustn't take me literally, Lieutenant.

Paul Gerard:
Have you eaten?

Lt. Columbo:
Ah, yes, sir. It seems I've been eating quite a bit lately. It's terrific.

Kenji Ozu:
Are you a lieutenant with the American Army?

Lt. Columbo:
Ah, no sir. Los Angeles Police.

Eve Plummer:
Homicide, right, Lieutenant?

Lt. Columbo:
That's right, ma'am.

Kenji Ozu:
Ah, there was a murder movie on the plane. Brilliant.

Kenji Ozu:
Do you have a hot suspect?

Lt. Columbo:
Well, I've got my eyes on one.

Lt. Columbo:
Oh. One more thing. Gee, I almost forgot. What I came here to ask you.

Paul Gerard:
Fortunately, you remembered.

Paul Gerard:
You're a very able man, Lieutenant. I respect that. But I really don't care for you very much.

Lt. Columbo:
You know, sir, I was thinking the same thing about you. I respect your talent. But I don't like anything else about you.

Paul Gerard:
When did you first suspect me?

Lt. Columbo:
As it happens, sir... about two minutes after I met you.

Lt. Columbo:
That's the damnedest example of good citizenship I've ever seen.