Commitments

Jimmy Rabbitte:
What do you play?

Failed Drug Buyer:
I used to play football in school.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I mean what instrument.

Failed Drug Buyer:
I don't.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Then what are you doing here?

Failed Drug Buyer:
Well, the line was so long I thought you were selling drugs.

Deco:
If I'm gonna front this band, I like the sound of "Deco."

Billy:
"Deco the bus conductor." Is that "top-Deco" or bottom-Deco"?

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
Is this the band then? Betcha U2 are shittin' themselves.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
That's f***in' blasphemy. Elvis wasn't a Cajun.

Steve Clifford:
And there's these three girls with the band, I've had lustful thoughts about all of them.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
The Irish are the blacks of Europe. Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. The Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Soul is the music people understand. Sure it's basic and it's simple. But it's something else 'cause, 'cause, 'cause it's honest, that's it. Its honest. There's no f***in' bullshit. It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure there's a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
What do you call yourselves?

Derek:
"And And And."

Jimmy Rabbitte:
"And And f***in' And?"

Derek:
Well, Ray's thinking of putting an exclamation mark after the second "and." Says it'd look deadly on the posters.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Psshh...

Outspan Foster:
You don't like it? You think it should go at the end?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I think it should go up his arse.

Outspan Foster:
Well, we're not married to it.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
What did Evel Knievel want?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
God sent him.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
What?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
God sent him.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
On a f***ing Suzuki?

Steve:
F***. F***. F***.

Natalie:
That's three Hail Marys for you tomorrow.

Imelda:
He eats like a pig.

Bernie:
He's such a prick.

Natalie:
Hasn't got the voice of a pig though. Joey says it belongs to God.

Billy:
God should ask for it back.

Natalie:
You all right, Jimmy?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Sure. They just get on my arse at times.

Natalie:
Wanna share a taxi home?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
For f***'s sake, Natalie. How could you ask me that after what I just said in there?

Natalie:
Well if you weren't the manager, would you?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Would I what?

Natalie:
...take me home?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
But I am the manager.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
say it once and say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I'd like to introduce you to the hardest-workin' band in the world. On bass, Derek "Meatman" Scully. On piano, Steven "Soul Surgeon" Clifford. Dean "Mr Nipple" Fay on sax. Joey "The Lips" Fagan on trumpet. Our gorgeous chanteuses are Bernie, Imelda, and Natalie. Deco "Deep Throat" Cuffe on vocals. On lead guitar, Outspan "Fender bender" Foster. Finally, on drums, Mickah "Don't F*** With Me" Wallace. Ladies and gentlemen, The Commitments.

Natalie Murphy:
What do you think, Jimmy, they'll be eatin' chips out of our knickers?

Billy:
And you... George Michael... you ever call me a f***in' eejit again, you'll go home with the drumsticks stuck up your hole... the one you don't sing out of.

Deco:
That'll be the day.

Billy:
I'm tellin' ya it's coming, so keep your Vaseline handy.

Joey:
Are you doing what I told you? Are you thinking of that reed as a woman's nipple?

Unemployment Official:
You've been collecting the dole for two years, are you telling me you can't get a job?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
We're a third world country - what can you do?

Rock Salmon Man:
Excuse me, would you have any Rock Salmon?

Dean Fay:
No, I'm sorry - we only have "Soul"!

Jimmy Rabbitte:
How did Ray take the news?

Derek:
Not too bad. Said he was goin' solo.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
He doesn't have much of a choice, does he?

Outspan Foster:
There's a band around called "Free Beer". Always draws a big crowd.

Derek:
I like "A Flock of Budgies".

Jimmy Rabbitte:
We have to be "the" something. All the great sixties bands were "The Somethings".

Outspan Foster:
We could be... The Northsiders.

Derek:
Or The Liffy Lads.

Outspan Foster:
How about... The F***ing Eejits?

Billy:
The Commitments?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
It's a "the".

Deco:
How do you spell it?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
T-H-E.