Count of Monte Cristo

Edmond:
Life is a storm, my young friend. You'll bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you: as Albert Mondego, the man!

Luigi:
So, mi amici, I would ask who you are, but in view of your shredded clothes and the fact that the Chateau d'If is two miles away... what's the point? As for me, I am Luigi Vampa, a smuggler and a thief. My men and I have come to this island to bury alive one of our number who attempted to keep some stolen gold for himself instead of sharing it with his comrades. Interestingly enough, there are some of his more loyal friends who are insisting that I grant him mercy. Which, of course, I cannot do, or I would quickly lose control of the whole crew. That is why you are such a fortunate find.

Edmond:
How's that?

Luigi:
You provide me with a way to show a little mercy to Jacopo - that maggot you see tied up over there - while at the same time not appearing weak. And as a bonus, the lads will get to see a little sport as well.

Edmond:
How do I accomplish all this?

Luigi:
We watch you and Jacopo fight to the death. If Jacopo wins, we welcome him back to the crew. If you win, I have given Jacopo the chance to live, even if he did not take advantage of it, and you can take his place on the boat.

Edmond:
What if I win and I don't want to be a smuggler?

Luigi:
Then we slit your throat, and we're a bit shorthanded.

Edmond:
I find that smuggling is the life for me, and would be delighted to kill your friend the maggot!

Albert Mondego:
Who are you, and why are you doing this?

Luigi:
We are bad men, and for the money!

J.F. Villefort, Chief Magistrate:
How is your father?

Fernand:
Alive, unfortunately.

J.F. Villefort, Chief Magistrate:
We share the same misfortune.

Edmond:
If you ever presume to interfere in my affairs again, I will, I promise you, finish the job I started the day we met! Do you understand?

Jacopo:
I understand you are mad.

Edmond:
Mad? My enemies are falling into my traps perfectly!

Jacopo:
Mad for not seeing this: you have a fortune, a beautiful woman who loves you. Take the gold, take the woman, and live your life! Stop this plan, take what you have won!

Edmond:
I can't.

Jacopo:
Why not?

Luigi:
Oh, and by the way, Jacopo is the best knife fighter I have ever seen.

Edmond:
Perhaps you should get out more.

Fernand:
What happened to your mercy?

Edmond Dantes:
I'm a count, not a saint.

Abbe Faria:
When I told them I had no idea where Count Spada hid his treasure, I lied.

Edmond:
You lied?

Abbe Faria:
I'm a priest, not a saint.

Jacopo:
Why not just kill them? I'll do it! I'll run up to Paris - bam, bam, bam, bam. I'm back before week's end. We spend the treasure. How is this a bad plan?

Dorleac:
Now you're thinking, just now "Why me, O God?". The answer is, God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is never in France this time of year.

Edmond:
There are 72,519 stones in my walls. I've counted them many times.

Abbe Faria:
But have you named them yet?

Abbe Faria:
God said "Vengeance is mine".

Edmond:
I don't believe in God.

Abbe Faria:
That doesn't matter. He believes in you.

Luigi:
We shall call him... Zatarra.

Edmond:
Sounds fearsome.

Luigi:
It means, "driftwood."

Edmond:
Why? In God's name, why?

Fernand:
Because you're the son of a clerk, and I'm not supposed to want to be you!

Jacopo:
I swear on my dead relatives - and even on the ones who are not feeling too good - I am your man forever!

Jacopo:
I am still your man, Zatarra. I swore an oath, and I will protect you. Even if it means I must protect you from yourself.

Napoleon:
We are kings or pawns.

Danglar:
You presume to demote me?

Morell:
Not at all. You're still the first mate of the Pharaon, under Captain Dantes.

Edmond:
If you ever loved me, don't rob me of my hate. It's all I have left.

Jacopo:
Once again, Zatarra, God sees you out of the corner of His eye.

Abbe Faria:
The stronger swordsman does not necessarily win. It is speed! Speed of hand, speed of mind.

Abbe Faria:
Here is your final lesson: do not commit the crime for which you now serve the sentence.

Abbe Faria:
With two of us digging, we can cover twice the ground. It'll only take us, oh... 8 years to reach the outer wall.

Abbe Faria:
You have some other occupation? Some pressing appointment, perhaps?

Abbe Faria:
In return for your help in digging this tunnel, I offer you something priceless.

Edmond:
My freedom?

Abbe Faria:
No, freedom can be taken away, as you well know. I offer you my knowledge.

Abbe Faria:
The doors open twice a day. Once in the morning for your toilet bucket, which is where we hide the dirt. And once more in the evening for your plate. Between those times, we can work all day without fear of discovery.

Edmond:
So neglect becomes our ally.

Dorleac:
Come on, come on, I haven't got all day... wait. Actually, I do. I've got...

Dorleac:
ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

Dorleac:
Let's make a bargain. You ask God for help, and I'll stop the moment He shows up.

Fernand:
Take your vengeance. But know that the blood you spill is noble. Blood that will never run through your veins. You are no more a count than I am a commoner!

J.F. Villefort, Chief Magistrate:
I require seventy percent.

Fernand:
Yet, you should only get fifty.

J.F. Villefort, Chief Magistrate:
Done.

Mercedes:
Albert, I found the note you left explaining where you'd gone. But now I must explain something to you. Where you've really come from. Albert, you are the son of Edmond Dantes. The man you know as the Count of Monte Cristo.

Fernand:
Well, I'm afraid it is true. You are the walking proof that your mother was as much of a whore in her younger years as she is today.

Mercedes:
I will never forget your kindness.

Fernand:
I shall never cease to give it.

J.F. Villefort, Chief Magistrate:
Mondego's the one who pulled the trigger! He'd never confess in a million years!

Count of Monte Cristo:
I know. But you just did.

Edmond:
You only got one shot. And it'll take more than that to stop me.

Fernand:
Well, then, I best put it where it will do the most damage.

Abbe Faria:
Define Economics.

Edmond:
Economics is a science dealing with the production, distribution and consumption of commodities.

Abbe Faria:
Translation?

Edmond:
Dig first, money later.

Fernand:
Come in Albert, and for God's sake be brief.

Mercedes:
I don't know what dark plan lies within you. Nor do I know by what design we were asked to live without each other these 16 years. But God has offered us a new beginning...

Edmond:
God?

Mercedes:
Don't slap His hand away.

Edmond:
Can I never escape Him?

Mercedes:
No, He is in everything. Even in a kiss.

Mercedes:
I want to free myself of you, as you have obviously freed yourself of me.