Cover Girl

Genius:
I don't feel good.

Rusty Parker:
Oh, you don't? Where?

Genius:
In the hall.

John Coudair:
What would you do if your youth should walk in that door?

Cornelia 'Stonewall' Jackson:
I'd put braces on its teeth.

Danny McGuire:
If I'm sorry nothing came of it, I'm a liar. If I'm glad, I'm a heel. Where do we go from here?

Danny McGuire:
[indicates Noel Wheaton] This gentleman has been in the theater a good many years. [to Wheaton] Now, you've been in my theater a good many years too. Why don't you be a good boy and scram?

Noel Wheaton:
That's my one virtue. I have nice friends.

Genius:
You know something? I love him too.

Danny McGuire:
Yeah?

Genius:
You know why?

Danny McGuire:
Why?

Genius:
Because he's dumber than me.

Danny McGuire:
Dumber than I.

Genius:
Okay. Then he's dumber than the both of us. [Danny winces]

Genius:
You probably know what you're doin', Mr. Coudair. But that was a pretty swell thing those kids had. Certainly glad I'm not the one that broke it up, I couldn't sleep nights.

Pop - Doorman:
Say, maybe if you'd had a horse under ya' over there in North Africa instead of one of them there tanks, you wouldn't have got shot up the way you was and sent home... Where'd it get ya', Danny?

Danny McGuire:
In Libya.

Pop - Doorman:
Well, it don't show a bit.

Genius:
[From the song "Who's Complaining?" which dealt with food rationing during World War Two] "Because of Axis trickery, my coffee now is chicory, and I can rarely purloin a sirloin... No complaining, through the campaigning. Who cares if the carrots are few? I'll feed myself on artichokes, until that Nazi party chokes, so long as they don't ration, my passion, for you!"

Rusty Parker:
Oh, how I hate oysters!

Genius:
Ain't they repulsive?

Danny McGuire:
[Addressing Genius] You're a 'genius' at everything but minding your own business, aren't ya'?