Coyote Ugly

Violet:
I'm not lost. Somebody just moved my street.

Kevin:
Just for the record, I was only staring at your arse for the first 15 minutes!

Cammie:
I'm Cammie, the Russian tease.

Violet:
Violet, the Jersey nun.

Cammie:
We all play our little parts. That one's Rachel, the New York b*tch. Only Rachel really is a b*tch, and I really am a tease.

Lil:
Cammie, you can only be a tease if you stop sleepin' around, babe.

Cammie:
Yeah, I keep forgetting that part!

Lil:
What?

Lil:
Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you're next to is lying on your arm, and they're so ugly, you'd rather chew off your arm then risk waking 'em? That's coyote ugly.

Lil:
Oh, 'cause Cheers was taken.

Rachel:
Hey Lil... do we serve water with our whiskey?

Lil:
Only water I serve has got barley and hops in it. Hey everybody, do we serve water in this bar?

Violet:
Hi. I'm Violet Sanford. I just recently moved to New York and was wondering if you'd give my tape to one of your artists.

Wendy:
Violet, that is so cute! Now lemme tell you about me. My name is Wendy and I first moved to New York when I was 21 to be a dancer, but I broke my big toe and then I got knocked up by this actor who dumped me to join the Peace Corps, so for the last 16 years I been raising my daughter all by myself and then two weeks ago, she tells me that she is a bisexual and that she hates me more than any person on this planet.

Wendy:
Now tell me how I can help you, please, because I am dying to make *your* dreams come true.

Violet:
Cammie, I think I just fell in love with you.

Cammie:
Oh Violet, I'm not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.

Violet:
That's *not*, what I meant.

Rachel:
Hey, hey! This is not a gas pump, son. *smooch* Wait your turn!

Lil:
Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose; all my favorite men. You can have it any way you like it, as long as it comes in a shot glass.

Lil:
That's Rachel, you can learn a lot from her.

Violet:
She just cut off some guy's ponytail.

Lil:
Yeah, the court ordered her to take anger-management classes after she pummeled a customer for grabbing her ass. They gave her probation, I gave her a raise. Cheers!

Cammie:
Hello? A naked girl in Army Boots? Easy play to call.

Lil:
Okay, everybody, shut up! I'd like you to meet my new girl, whose name is... Jersey! Jersey, is an ex kindergarten teacher, and a former nun, who just escaped from the convent, and is tired of being the only virgin in New York City! Would anyone like to buy her a drink?

Rachel:
Alright, who's gonna be dancing on this bar? I wanna see your bras.

Zoe:
Is this a church meeting or is this a bar? Make some noise!

Violet:
I don't mean to be rude but, would you mind telling me why you're hiring me?

Lil:
Because, the average male is walking around with a toddler inside his pants, a two year old right there inside his dockers.

Violet:
Men have two year old children in their pants - that's why your hiring me?

Kevin:
Have a nice day!

Violet:
Have a nice day?

Kevin:
Yeah, I panic, I didn't know what else to say!

Violet:
So... what do you want?

Kevin:
It's 3 in the morning, I want what every guy wants. Breakfast!

Violet:
You always said I could grow up to be anything.

Lil:
Let me guess: Piedmont, North Dakota.

Violet:
South Amboy, New Jersey.

Lil:
Same thing.

Lil:
I love that bar. I'd sleep there, if I had the guts to walk around barefoot. Just a small town girl trying to make it in the big bad city.

Violet:
Small town girl?

Lil:
Piedmont, North Dakota. Tell anyone that, and I'll kill ya.

Violet:
I'm a songwriter, is there someone here I can talk to about my songs?

Violet:
Look, I've never had anyone stare at my ass for half an hour before, so I'm going to say goodnight, and I'm hoping you're going to say it back.

Violet:
Look, I've had a rough couple of days, are you really the owner? Cuz the last think I need is a waitress on a power trip wasting my time.

Lil:
You start Friday night.

Violet:
Oh, I get it, we talk about you right? Okay, Kevin, let's play a game. I'm gonna guess why you left Australia. You were in jail? No that's not it. You have a wife and three kids in Sydney, am I getting warm? Come on, Kevin, why'd you run away from home?

Kevin:
I didn't have a home! Are you happy? That's the big secret! Are you going to feel sorry for me now? Are you gonna hold me close while I tell you I had to switch homes every 2 years? I had a bad childhood, big deal. I don't need your sympathy!

Violet:
I want my tape.

Manager:
Hey, O'Donnell no dates in the kitchen.

Violet:
I'm not staying... I just want my tape.

Kevin:
Did you write all those songs?

Violet:
You listened to my tape?

Kevin:
No, of course not, that would be an invasion of privacy.

Kevin:
Baby you're the right kind of wrong.

Violet:
Go ahead. Laugh it up. Because nothing you say is gonna bother me.

Kevin:
I was just trying to tell you I like your music. Do you always take compliments this well?

Bill:
I only got three rolls of film, I hope that's enough.

Violet:
Dad, I'm only singing one song.

Bill:
Right. I better go get another one.

Bill Sandford:
Violet, I saw how hard it was on your mom when she didn't make it, but if she was here she'd tell me to shut up, wish you luck and give you a big hug. I'm not going to give you a big hug and I'm not going to wish you luck, but I am going to shut up, sit here with my coffee and pretend to be mad. Is that okay?

Bill Sandford:
No, it's not okay. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. You're not going back to work for Pete. I don't care what it takes. I don't care how many bars you have to stand on. You are not coming home. I'm not letting you back in the house. Forget it.

Bill Sandford:
Hey, do I come to your office and honk?