Crash Twinsanity

Uka Uka:
Free again! Who has released me?

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Mighty Uka Uka...

Uka Uka:
What! Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you... or kill you! [Crash puckers up]

Uka Uka:
[about the Evil Twins] Cortex! Who are these evil upstarts?

Dr. Neo Cortex:
I've ruined the lives of so many... I can't be expected to remember all of them.

Uka Uka:
Such a big head... such a tiny brain.

Aku-Aku:
If we hand him over to the Evil Twins, perhaps they will spare us.

Dr. Neo Cortex:
But they'll kill me!

Uka Uka:
That's a risk I'm willing to take!

Dingodile:
Hey! I heard there were treasure round ere' and I wanna piece o' da dosh!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
I have no idea what you just said.

Dr. Nefarious Tropy:
[seeing Crash] The rats are leaving the sinking ship.

Victor the Evil Twin:
[on Cortex's airship] So this is how the rich and the ugly fly.

Moritz the Evil Twin:
Oh, hostess! Could I have another bag of those spicy peanuts?

Rusty Walrus:
Ah, yummy! Fresh meat for me pot.

Dr. Neo Cortex:
I'm an evil scientist!

Madam Amberley:
Ooh!A scientist Neo! To me, you'll always be a little worm!

Aku-Aku:
[about Cortex] If we hand him over to the Evil Twins, perhaps they will spare us.

Dr. Neo Cortex:
But they'll kill me!

Uka Uka:
That's a risk I'm willing to take!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
[to Crash] Meet your new, hydraulically-operated twin brother: Mecha Bandicoot!

[aside]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Now where was I?

Dr. N. Gin:
Dr Cortex, you were magnificent!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Of course I was you fool!

Disguised Cortex:
[after being hit by a log and falling into a pit] I'm okay!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
The spikes broke my fall.

[first lines]

Coco Bandicoot:
[chasing a butterfly] I'm gonna get ya! Come here.

Dr. Neo Cortex:
[Cortex's arm comes out from behind a nearby tree, holding a blaster gun. He decides to adjust the blaster gun to settings appropriate for his plot. He scrolls through a smiley face with hearts over its eyes, a smiley face with bulging eyeballs, a smiley face on fire, and a black skull. He decides to go with the bulging eyeball smiley. He shoots Coco, who falls over, stunned. The butterfly she was previously chasing lands on her nose]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
[over Coco's body] Sleep, my insepid angel.

[Meanwhile, Crash is digging up a hole in the beach when Cortex, disguised as Coco, approaches the beach]

Disguised Cortex:
Crash! Crash! Where are you big brother! There's something weird going on in the bay! Come see!

Victor the Evil Twin:
Cower you fools before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Aren't you two adorable? Let me see... I may have some choccy treats for you.

Moritz the Evil Twin:
Oooh! Choccy treats!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
You've got to help me Crash! You heard them, they want to destroy our island home... humiliate and enslave you and steal my brain!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
But be careful what you wish for,

Young Dr. Cortex:
Back off Grampa!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
...or you're wish will come true...

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Playtime is over! Victor! Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty birds!

Victor the Evil Twin:
WHAT AM I DOING? Curse my superior interlect. THAT'S IT, CORTEX! You wanna spend time and play with your precious pets? So be it...

[from trailer]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Playtime is over!

[from trailer]

Trailer Narrator:
They're working together, but they don't have to like it.

[Penguin squawks at Cortex, negociating]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
The check bounced? Are you sure? Well, these past few years have been kind of slow. Wrath of Cortex didn't go as well as we'd hoped and...

Dr. Neo Cortex:
[Penguins seethe in anger and Cortex offers a fish to appease them] Fish?

[Camera alternates to different characters and Cortex eventually shoots the leader with his laser]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Come, we must begin preparations for...

[Doorbell rings from a mysterious door]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
[to Crash] It's probably for you.

[Door opens and the Evil Twins return with Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka, using them as common masks]

Moritz the Evil Twin:
Trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat! Ha ha ha! [Twins throw the masks at Crash and Cortex]

Victor the Evil Twin:
Fools! You thought these two party toys could defeat us? We are masters of the infinite dimensions! With power over reality itself!

Moritz the Evil Twin:
[Interrupts] And riches beyond imagination!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
[Interested] Riches?

Victor the Evil Twin:
Riches? [Slaps Moritz in the back of the head] What's wrong with you? Always bringing up the riches! [to Cortex] You don't remember us, do you, Doctor?

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Should I?

Victor the Evil Twin:
You ruined our lives! Allow us to return the favor.

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Surprised to see me Crash? Like the fleas in your fur I keep coming back! Three years I spent alone in the frozen Antarctic Wastes! And I missed you. So I've arranged a little gathering, like a birthday party only, the exact opposite!

[from trailer]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Will this suffering never end?

[from trailer]

Farmer Ernest:
If you rid my land of these pests, I'll give you this power crystal.

[Cortex blasts him. Farmer moans]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
I'm an evil scientist, what do you expect? This isn't a game.