Cruel Intentions

Kathryn:
Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.

Sebastian:
I can't believe that there was a time in my life when all I could think about was... sex

Dr. Greenbaum:
That's no way to go through life.

Sebastian:
You preach about waiting for love. Well, here it is, right in front of you, and you're going to turn your back on it. So that makes you a hypocrite.

Annette:
People shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love.

Sebastian:
Why can't we be together?

Annette:
You wanna know why? Because I don't trust myself with you.

Kathryn:
Unfortunately, our Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler.

Sebastian:
We've done some pretty f***ed up sh*t in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that?

Cecile Caldwell:
This sure doesn't taste like an iced tea.

Sebastian:
It's from Long Island.

Kathryn:
Can I take my new car for a ride?

Sebastian:
Kathryn, the only thing you'll be riding is me.

Sebastian:
E-mail is for geeks and pedophiles.

Kathryn:
Sebastian, that little wager you mentioned earlier. Count me in.

Sebastian:
What are the terms?

Kathryn:
If I win, then that hot little car of yours is mine.

Sebastian:
And if I win?

Kathryn:
I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married.

Sebastian:
Be more specific.

Kathryn:
In English, I'll f*** your brains out.

Sebastian:
What makes you think I'll go for that bet? That is a 1956 Jaguar Roadster.

Kathryn:
Because I'm the only girl you can't have, and it kills you.

Sebastian:
No thanks.

Kathryn:
You can put in anywhere.

Sebastian:
You've got yourself a bet, baby.

Kathryn:
Happy hunting, Sebastian.

Kathryn:
Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and... what else do you do?

Sebastian:
You could be a model. It's too bad you're not sexy.

Blaine Tuttle:
He used to sneak into my dorm room drunk every month. We'd go at it for a little while, and then, as soon as he'd come, he'd start freaking out. "What are you doing, man? I'm not a fag. If you tell anybody, I'm gonna kick your ass!" God. The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man's got a mouth like a hoover. Ooh!

Sebastian:
I can't win with you.

Annette:
It's not all about winning, Sebastian.

Mrs. Sugarman:
Oh, did I ever tell you the time, when my late husband sent me...

Sebastian:
Yes, you already did, Mrs. Sugarman.

Mrs. Sugarman:
Oh, I did?

Sebastian:
Right after we played backgammon, Mrs. Sugarman.

Mrs. Sugarman:
Oh! We played backgammon?

Sebastian:
Uh huh. You beat me three times.

Mrs. Sugarman:
I did?

Sebastian:
Yup. Then I f***ed your daughter.

Mrs. Sugarman:
Excuse me?

Sebastian:
I said, would you care for some water?

Mrs. Sugarman:
No, thank you.

Kathryn:
F*** her yet?

Sebastian:
Working on it.

Kathryn:
Loser.

Sebastian:
Blow me.

Kathryn:
Call me later?

Bunny Caldwell:
Jesus Christ, where have you been?

Cecile Caldwell:
Shopping.

Marci Greenbaum:
Would you cut the psychobabble bullshit, Mom? There's pictures of me on the Internet.

Dr. Greenbaum:
What kind of pictures?

Marci Greenbaum:
Nudie pictures! What do you think?

Dr. Greenbaum:
JESUS CHRIST! How could you be so stupid?

Kathryn:
She's quite cute, you know. Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted booty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.

Kathryn:
My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.

Cecile Caldwell:
But that would make me a slut, wouldn't it?

Kathryn:
Cecile, everybody does it; it's just that nobody talks about it.

Cecile Caldwell:
So, it's like a secret society?

Kathryn:
That's one way looking at it.

Kathryn:
f***ing idiot...

Sebastian:
Cecile, you know what would be super-duper sexy? If you lost all the clothes.

Cecile Caldwell:
I don't think so.

Annette:
I'm impressed.

Sebastian:
Well, I'm in love.

Bunny Caldwell:
How dare you treat me with such disrespect! I got you off the streets and this is how you repay me?

Ronald Clifford:
Got me off the streets? I live on 59th and Park!

Bunny Caldwell:
Whatever!

Kathryn:
I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny.

Kathryn:
I think there's something going on between Cecile and her music teacher.

Bunny Caldwell:
Ronald? That's crazy!

Kathryn:
I know, she's so young and he's so...

Bunny Caldwell:
Black!

Kathryn:
I wanna F***!

Sebastian:
And I don't.

Sebastian:
What shall we toast to?

Kathryn:
To my triumph.

Sebastian:
It's not my choice of toast, but it's your call. To your triumph over Annette.

Sebastian:
What's so funny?

Kathryn:
Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you.

Sebastian:
Come again?

Kathryn:
You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Kathryn:
Tastes good. So I assume you've come here to make arrangements, but unfortunately, I don't f*** losers.

Sebastian:
You AMAZE me.

Kathryn:
Eat me, Sebastian. It's okay for guys like you and Court to f*** everyone but when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia f***ing Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me are you in, or are you out?

Kathryn:
The parental units called while you were out.

Sebastian:
How IS your gold-digging whore of a mother enjoying Bali?

Kathryn:
She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid.

Sebastian:
Good.

Helen Rosemont:
Sebastian, I want you to meet Annette.

Sebastian:
Well, well.

Annette:
Hello.

Helen Rosemont:
She'll be staying with me for a while.

Sebastian:
I guess that makes two of us. Aunt Helen, why don't you go inside and whip us up some of that iced tea of yours. I'll... tend to Annette.

Helen Rosemont:
Alright. You two don't get into any trouble.

Annette:

Sebastian:
I read your manifesto.

Annette:
You did?

Sebastian:
Yes. I must say, I found it rather... appalling.

Annette:
That's a first. Most people praise me for it.

Sebastian:
Most people are sheep. Who are you to criticize something you've never experienced?

Annette:
I wasn't criticizing. I just think people shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love and I just don't think people our age are able to experience those kinds of emotions.

Sebastian:
Are you a lesbian?

Annette:
No...

Sebastian:
Sorry, I just kind of picked up on that lesbian vibe.

Annette:
I wouldn't expect a man of your experience to understand my beliefs.

Sebastian:
Uh! What's THAT supposed to mean?

Annette:
I've been very well-informed of your reputation.

Sebastian:
What have you heard?

Annette:
That you promise girls the world to get them in bed with you.

Sebastian:
Who told you this?

Annette:
A friend wrote me.

Sebastian:
That's a little tacky.

Annette:
Why do you sound so surprised? It's the truth isn't it?

Sebastian:
If you say so.

Sebastian:
I didn't know it was a**hole day at the Valmont house.

Sebastian:
Ohh well, duty calls. Dr. Greenbalm and her daughter should make for interesting entry.

Kathryn:
Ohh, your journal. Could you be more queer?

Sebastian:
Could you be more desperate to read it?

Kathryn:
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premiere tramp of the New York area.

Ronald Clifford:
I would like to think that in these times someone of your stature could look beyond racial lines.

Bunny Caldwell:
Oh, don't give me any of that racist crap! My Husband and I gave money to Colin Powell!

Ronald Clifford:
I guess that puts me in my place.

Annette:
I don't know. Relationships seem too distracting. I'd rather concentrate on my studies.

Sebastian:
Read this.

Kathryn:
I know how to alleviate menstrual cramps, thank you very much.

Sebastian:
She has a boyfriend named Trevor. Been going out for a year... Trevor understands.

Kathryn:
Trevor's a fag.

Sebastian:
I'm sick of sleeping with these insipid Manhattan debutantes. Nothing shocks them anymore.

Kathryn:
"Why I Plan to Wait" by Annette Hargrove, Kansas City, Kansas. Jesus Christ, is she for real?

Sebastian:
Oh, she's daddy's little angel, a paradigm of chastity and virtue.

Bunny Caldwell:
How do you do it? Where do you get your strength?

Kathryn:
I know this will sound corny, but, whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.

Sebastian:
Night Sweetpea.

Sebastian:
Dear Annette, I don't know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm I've caused you. The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy. My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others' misery. Well, it finally backfired. I succeed in hurting the first person I ever loved. Enclosed is my most prized possession. My journal. For a long time I considered it my trophy. A sordid collection of my conquests. If you really want to know the truth than please read it. No more lies. Please give me another chance. I'm a wreck without you.

Sebastian:
Unbelievable! Some fag, no offense...

Blaine:
None taken.

Sebastian:
Wrote a letter to this chick describing my lascivious tactics.

Blaine:
Any ideas who it could be?

Sebastian:
Blaine, if I knew who it was, that person would be in a momentous amount of pain!

Sebastian:
She made me laugh.

Annette:
I don't know if this'll help. But sometimes when I'm feeling down, I turn to Jesus and he helps me through it.

Kathryn:
...Thank you.

Annette:
Alright, well, I'll see you around campus.

Kathryn:
Looking forward to it... Freak.

Sebastian:
My, what an adorable shirt you're wearing!

Cecile Caldwell:
Thanks, my dad took me on a trip to Australia.

Sebastian:
And how are things down under?

Sebastian:
Blossoming, I hope.

Greg McConnell:
What am I? Grandma with the birthday present. Suck it ya dumb b*tch!

Greg McConnell:
This could ruin my career.

Sebastian:
Well, not just your career, Greg. Think about your family. Can you imagine the humiliation your father is going to feel when he finds out that his pride and joy is a fudgepacker.

Greg McConnell:
Valmont, please! Don't tell my father. Please, for my sake.

Sebastian:
No. Sorry, can't help you there. After all, it is you who's been bad-mouthing me to Annette Hargrove.

Greg McConnell:
What are you talking about?

Sebastian:
You wrote a letter a few months ago to Annette Hargrove telling her all about me. You're the only one here who knows her. The truth will save you.

Greg McConnell:
Valmont, I swear I never said anything about you to her or anyone!

Sebastian:
Yeah, right.

Blaine:
Come to think of it, Valmont, he is probably telling you the truth. As I remember, this guy can barely write down a grocery list, much less a letter. What was I thinking?

Kathryn:
You're telling me you had the chance to f*** her and you didn't? God, are you a chump.

Sebastian:
A momentary lapse of judgment, soon to be rectified.

Sebastian:
That is a lovely shirt you're wearing.

Cecile:
Thanks, my dad got it for me from Australia.

Sebastian:
How are things down under? [looks down her skirt] Blossoming, I hope?

Kathryn:
About that little wager of yours, count me in.

Sebastian:
What are the term...

Kathryn:
[interrupting] If I win, then that hot little car of yours, is mine.

Sebastian:
And if I win?

Kathryn:
I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married.

Sebastian:
Be, more, specific.

Kathryn:
In English; I'll f*** your brains out.

Annette:
You know what your problem is? You take yourself way too seriously.

Sebastian:
I do not.

Annette:
You should lighten up.

Sebastian:
I am lightened, can we drop this?

Annette:
Okay. [makes a funny, ridiculous face at Sebastian]

Sebastian:
Will you stop that? [Annette continues to make a face] Stop that, it's distracting. [starts to laugh]

Annette:
Are you laughing?

Sebastian:
[seriously] No.

Annette:
No? [makes another face, Sebastian begins to laugh and then regains control] It's okay, you can laugh, I promise I won't tell anyone. [smiles/smirks]

Kathryn Merteuil:
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Kathryn Merteuil:
People don't change overnight, you and I are two of a kind.

Kathryn Merteuil:
You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with.

Sebastian Valmont:
[to his therapist] You have killer legs. I'd love to photograph them...

Sebastian Valmont:
You spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well here it is. Right in front of you, and you're going to turn your back on it. So I guess we're just f***ed. I'll move on. But you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you've turned your back on love. And that makes you a hypocrite. Have a nice life.