Dallas

John Ross Ewing:
Please tell me that look is morning sickness,

[looks out window]

John Ross Ewing:
at night.

Judge Wallace Tate:
[to Harris] You kidnapped your daughter and let your ex-wife think she was dead. If you'd done that to me, I probably would've shot you too.

Pamela Rebecca Barnes:
Was all I was just revenge sex to you?

John Ross Ewing:
Revenge sex is all I could afford.

Ann Ewing:
I know that look, and the feeling behind it. One time when I went to my hairdresser, he convinced me to get some highlights. So I did, and as I was on my way home I got afraid, what if Harris didn't like it?

Emma Brown:
What did he say?

Ann Ewing:
Before he got home I went back and had it dyed back to the original color. But he still knew, he got furious. That was the start of him always making me feel like I was stupid for not consulting him first.

John Ross Ewing:
[on being told by Bobby that he has no right to drill at Southfork] I'm a Ewing. I have every right.

Ann Ewing:
[on catching an intruder in the house] I don't miss, mister, not at any range.

J.R. Ewing:
[in the nursing home, to John Ross] Bobby was always a fool. Stubborn as a mule.

J.R. Ewing:
Son, the courts are for amateurs and the faint of heart. No, this is personal.

J.R. Ewing:
Blood may be thicker than water, but oil is thicker than both.

John Ross Ewing:
We're in the oil business, boys!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[to John Ross] Think of me as an ally. I can help.

J.R. Ewing:
I'm the one who belongs on Southfork. It's mine! And only mine.

Christopher Ewing:
Oil's the past, John Ross. Alternatives are the future.

John Ross Ewing:
I couldn't disagree more.

John Ross Ewing:
Oh, Bobby's not your dad. Everbody knows your dad sold you when you were a little baby. You'll never be a Ewing, Christopher!

[Christopher starts beating up on John Ross]

Christopher Ewing:
[to his potential investors, who offer him a bad deal] I ain't a virgin, but I ain't a whore, either.

Bobby Ewing:
Now you listen to me boy: there is no drilling on my ranch!

John Ross Ewing:
No, I am not gonna ask Elena to float me some barrels. I refuse to drag her into this mess.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
She's in the oil business, she's in the mess already.

Bobby Ewing:
[to John Ross] I really had hoped that you kids would climb out of the hole this family dug. But J.R.'s just dragging you down with him.

John Ross Ewing:
Lucy, you were and always will be, my favorite cousin.

Lucy Ewing:
[business like] What do you want?

J.R. Ewing:
[on mobile phone with Bum] A cheated man is a dangerous man. Just ask my son.

J.R. Ewing:
I don't see how this it's my fault.

Ann Ewing:
Of course you don't, you're a sociopath!

J.R. Ewing:
Well there's no need to call names.

Ann Ewing:
[to J.R] If I catch you anywhere near Bobby's room, I'll shoot you, and since you have no heart, It'll be somewhere more vital.

Ann Ewing:
He called me Wife number 3?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
That's when I slapped him.

Ann Ewing:
That deserves a muffin.

John Ross Ewing:
He finally got what he's always wanted, but he's being pig-headed and selfish.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[sarcastically] That's so unlike J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
[to John Ross] And son, never pass up a good chance to shut up.

J.R. Ewing:
[at the Cattle Baron's Ball, to John Ross] Watch and learn.

J.R. Ewing:
[on meeting the real Marta] I'm gonna have to introduce you to my son, John Ross. He's a chip off the old block.

Ann Ewing:
[J.R. has just given Ann a compliment] Why thank you, J.R. It's nice to be in a company of a legend.

J.R. Ewing:
Mostly in my own mind, darlin'.

Mitch Lobell:
I guess some people are just too damn mean to die. [shakes J.R.'s hand]

John Ross Ewing:
[reading J.R.'s final letter to him aloud] John Ross, if you're reading this, it means I'm dead. And if I'm dead, that means Barnes is coming after you. You must crush him before he can win. I promised your Uncle Bobby that taking down Harris Ryland would be my masterpiece. I bet my last nickel Barnes'll join forces with Ryland to destroy us. Use what I've given you to take from them what they want to take from us. When you've done that, Bobby will know what to do.

[pauses]

John Ross Ewing:
And remember, you're my son, tip to tail.

Bum:
[to Bobby, handing him an envelope] He wanted you to have this.

John Ross Ewing:
[Bobby reads it silently] What's it say?

Christopher Ewing:
Ain't you gonna tell us?

John Ross Ewing:
[Bobby beckons to Bum] Uncle Bobby!

Christopher Ewing:
Dad!

Bobby Ewing:
[as he and Bum leave the den] This is between my brother and me... for now.

Bobby Ewing:
[to Bum] You pay off whoever you have to pay off... so that everybody still thinks J.R. was killed by a mugger. And when the time comes, we'll take care of this ourselves... as a family.

Bobby Ewing:
[Bobby enters J.R.'s bedroom and pours himself a drink from J.R.'s decanter] I knew you'd have at least one more left up your sleeve, J.R.

[looks at the letter in his hand from J.R]

Bobby Ewing:
And it's a good one... I love you, brother.

[takes another drink and dissolves into tears]

[Cliff just interrupted JR's wake]

Cliff Barnes:
I came to pay my *disrespects*!

[Cliff is being forced out of JR's wake]

Cliff Barnes:
*Now who's dancing on who's grave!*

[Sue Ellen warns him to be nice to Pamela]

John Ross Ewing:
What do you take me for, mama, a scoundrel?

Harris Ryland:
This isn't the girl I raised.

Emma Brown:
It is, because I am exactly my father's daughter.

Harris Ryland:
[to Ann] You enjoying this?

Ann Ewing:
Actually I'm not, Harris, because I'm not a sick, sadistic prick like you are.

[Bum reveals that he killed J.R., at J.R.'s request]

Bum:
Please believe that his last act was an act of love for his family, and for you.

John Ross Ewing:
[shaking Bum's hand] The only person who could take down J.R., was J.R.

[Cliff is in jail for the murder of J.R. and has refused Bobby's offer of help]

Cliff Barnes:
Who killed J.R.?

Bobby Ewing:
You'll *never* know, Cliff.

[Cliff has found out that the Ewings have beaten him again, with Pamela's help]

Cliff Barnes:
Oh Pamela, you have just made the most grievous error of your young life.

[Afton has insulted John Ross, accusing him of being like JR]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
The only disgusting thing J.R. ever did, was *you*!

Vicente Cano:
I just want to know one thing... where is my oil?

John Ross Ewing:
It's kind of tough to do business behind bars.

Christopher Ewing:
How the hell could J.R. do this to his own family?

Bobby Ewing:
How much time do you have? Son, ever since momma left me this ranch, J.R. has been desperate to get it back. I just never thought he'd be so desperate that he'd risk losing it all together.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You had better not be protecting your father, John Ross, I will not let you fall on that sword.

J.R. Ewing:
[talking to Bobby] Come on, wake up, you hear me? Wake up and you get better. And you keep fighting. You keep fighting me! Now I'm gonna tell you something you never heard me say before: I love you Bobby, and I don't know who I'd be without you.

Ann Ewing:
[to Harris Ryland] One more thing: the next time you ask me for a hug, you'll be hugging the business end of my shotgun.

J.R. Ewing:
Life is cheap in prison, Vicente, and I'm a very rich man.

Vicente Cano:
Hm. So am I.

John Ross Ewing:
[to J.R] You want in on Ewing Engergies, you stop teaching me about the oil business and you start teaching me every dirty trick that you know.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, hello Lou, what you doing here? [Lou leaves without saying anything] Well, you know you've hit a low when even a lawyer won't take the time to insult you.

Bobby Ewing:
Thank you for bringing this, but it doesn't mean that we automatically trust you again, Rebecca.

Marta Del Sol:
I have money. A lot of money. Skimmed from Vicente on Southfork's sale. We could go away together.

John Ross Ewing:
I wouldn't wanna go across the street with you. Now leave, before I do somethin' we both regret.

J.R. Ewing:
[holding a file on Veronica Martinez aka Marta del Sol] Well, I'd say when it comes to jealousy, our girl is crazier than an outhouse rat. [smiles]

Bum:
Man, I hope I'm never on the wrong end of that smile, J.R.

Cliff Barnes:
I will never stop fighting for what is rightfully mine. And I know you are the same way.

J.R. Ewing:
I'm a changed man, Cliff. Evidence of that is the fact that you're not being wheeled out of here with two broken legs.

J.R. Ewing:
[Ann is pointing a shotgun at J.R] Bullets don't seem to have much of an effect on me, darling.

J.R. Ewing:
The best way to understand a man, is to talk to his friends... and his enemies. My friends are in the State House. My enemies are gonna be harder to find.

J.R. Ewing:
[to Cliff Barnes] I'll be there when they put you in the ground, Barnes. Listen close, I'll be the one dancing on the dirt overhead.

Cliff Barnes:
You are never gonna be one of them, Christopher, and don't let them destroy you like they did Pam.

J.R. Ewing:
[to John Ross] I spent most of your childhood chasing after women I didn't love, makin' deals that didn't really matter. I will get Southfork back. Because you shouldn't have to pay for my sins.

Cliff Barnes:
Well, you're lookin' pretty spry for all you've been through, old pal. Cliff Barnes, remember me?

J.R. Ewing:
Time has not been kind to that face. But I do recall the smell of brimstone and crazy...

Ann Ewing:
[Ann has just left the hospital after confronting Harris over his accusation of Bobby as his alleged murderer... she notices blood spatter on the toes of her boots and then walks through the police station in stocking feet, slamming the boots on the front desk] My name is Ann Ewing. I shot Harris Ryland.

J.R. Ewing:
Daddy always said beautiful women were the most dangerous.

Bobby Ewing:
[impatient to get to the point] I know all the things daddy used to say.

J.R. Ewing:
Ewing Oil is back in business, Bobby!

Bobby Ewing:
That's not gonna happen, J.R. [holds up a deed stating J.R. owns Southfork] This is not going to happen. That's why I wanted to sell Southfork in the first place: to stop all this feuding. And leave a legacy to mama.

J.R. Ewing:
You wanna carry on mama's legacy? Well, I wanna carry on daddy's.

Ann Ewing:
They warned me. My whole marriage, they told me about you. But in my wildest imagination, I never thought you could stoop to this.

J.R. Ewing:
Well Annie, you're just gonna have to work on your imagination.

John Ross Ewing:
[to Bobby] The last thing I'd want to do is have to kick you off this ranch. Like you did to me.

J.R. Ewing:
[to John Ross] Just start drillin'. By the time I'm back, Bobby will have gotten used to oil being pumped on Southfork and the damage will be done. Just don't screw it up.

JR Ewing:
[to Sue Ellen] I'm only going to tell you this once, and I'll deny it the minute I leave this room, but the best decision you ever made was leaving me.

JR Ewing:
[to Sue Ellen] With all the pull I still have in this city after all the crap I've pulled, you'll bounce back too.