Damsels in Distress

Rose:
What you are describing is a "playboy" or "operator" move.

Violet:
Hello! Are you a new student?

Lily:
Yes.

Violet:
We'd like to help you.

Violet:
[From Trailer] Our aspirations are pretty basic - take a guy who hasn't realized his full potential - or doesn't even have much...

Heather:
Someone like Frank!

Violet:
Yes. Then help them realize it or find more.

Violet:
Do you know what's the major problem in contemporary social life? The tendency to always seek someone cooler than yourself.

Violet:
[about their college] There's enough material here for a lifetime of social work.

Violet:
We're also trying to make a difference in people's lives, and one way to do that is to stop them from killing themselves.

Depressed Debbie:
[Angry] You think I'm going to kill myself and make you look bad?

Violet:
I'm worried that you'll kill yourself and make yourself look bad.

Heather:
[to Lily] Speaking of suicide prevention; do you have a boyfriend?

Rose:
Oh yes, are you dating anyone?

Lily:
I don't see the connection.

Violet:
[Matter-of-factly] Boyfriends are a primary suicide risk.

Violet:
What would you say are the most effective means to fight depression?

Thor:
Beer?

Frank:
No, beer's a downer! Cocktails! Hard liqueur and spirits is what really gives you a lift.

Rose:
Frank's stupid, we knew. That he was a rat playboy operator, I hadn't realized.

Violet:
Seven Oaks is the last of the Select Seven to go co-ed. An atmosphere of male barbarism predominates. We're going to change that.

Violet:
I don't really like the word "depressed". I prefer to say I'm in a tailspin.

Depressed Debbie:
[about Violet] I suppose now she'll want the doughnuts too.

Priss:
[Crying] He used to gaze at me with such love in his eyes. Know what I mean?

Violet:
No. No, I've never actually seen that.

Violet:
[about Priss' ex-boyfriend] Was Josh handsome?

Priss:
[crying] Yes

Violet:
That's a problem.

Violet:
Have you ever heard the expression, prevention is nine tenths the cure? Well in the case of suicide, it's ten tenths the cure.

Violet:
[to Jimbo, who she believes is depressed] Did you know that a good-smelling environment is crucial to our overall sense of well-being? Have you considered finding a better-smelling place to live?

Rose:
Priss is a rat. A b*tch. A rat b*tch!

Heather:
[about seventh-grade Violet] But you were nice to her?

Rose:
No, not really. The idea of being nice to weird and unpopular kids hadn't arrived yet.

Violet:
I took the commuter train to Villa Franka and I checked into a cheap motel there.

Rose:
The Motel Six?

Violet:
No, the Motel 4. It's even less expensive.

Rose:
The Motel 4, in Villa Franka? My god, you really were suicidal.

Heather:
Could Frank be dyslexic?

Rose:
No, dyslexics are intelligent.

Lily:
[about Charlie] I would hate to think what would happen if one of you guys got her claws into him.

Rose:
That's outrageous! We're perfectly nice! We've met lots of pathetic guys, and nothing very bad happened.

Violet:
[about Fred/Charlie] He's lying. I find that *very* attractive.

Fred Packenstacker:
I wasn't just buying drinks for people; they were for cute girls. There was a perfectly rational, logical, easily-explainable agenda.

Violet:
[Smiling slightly] So it *was* a playboy or operator move.

Fred Packenstacker:
Of course. Transparently so.

Violet:
I admire that. Drinks are expensive.

Lily:
Oh my god! How crazy! He's completely insane. I almost dated him!

Heather:
You can say that about a lot of guys.

Heather:
I'm sure I've heard of strategic development. I think it's something pretty important.

Violet:
Are you... [whispers]... gay?

Fred Packenstacker:
Not especially. But in another era it might of had some appeal.

Thor:
[about a beanbag] What colour would you say that chair is?

Frank:
That's a chair? I had no idea!

Violet:
Poor Lily. Xavier just used her body, and not even the right side!

Mad Madge:
[Violet is practicing her tap routine] What do you think you're doing?

Violet:
I'm sorry, did I disturb you?

Mad Madge:
Why are you wearing tap shoes? Are you out of your mind?

Violet:
I think that's pretty clear...

Lily:
There no logic to the algebra of love.

Fred Packenstacker:
The algebra of love? Sounds like the title of some lame book.

Lily:
It's a title but the book's not lame at all.

Fred Packenstacker:
Love's algebra? I always thought it was more geometry.

Lily:
Okay, the title's not good but the book is.

Fred Packenstacker:
What's it say?

Lily:
Well, that while we're all perverse in our preferences, there's actually this logic, or algebra to our perversity. And it has something to do with how the species has evolved

Fred Packenstacker:
The survival of the species?

Lily:
Yes, and whether it will continue to do so.

Fred Packenstacker:
Normally I'd be reluctant to comment on anyone's religion but...

Xavier:
What?

Fred Packenstacker:
I'm sorry, I guess I'm a bit a of bigot, but I could never take seriously a religion that worships on Tuesdays. All the major religions require worship on the weekend - Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I find it just really laudatory that people should sacrifice their weekend to worship god.

Xavier:
Having the sabbath Tuesday always seemed very bizarre to me.

Rose:
Humility comes from within. If it's not there in the first place, where do you get it? I stopped looking a long time ago.

Frank:
If my eyes are so blue; looking out, wouldn't everything be blue? [Closes his eyes then opens them again] See it doesn't look blue, it just looks normal.

Rose:
Call the cops, a suicide might be in progress!

Heather:
You mean the *campus* cops?

Rose:
[about Roberts Hall] Suicidal Ed. students have been going to the roof and throwing themselves off.

Violet:
But it's only two stories.

Rose:
Yes I know, it's horrible. Not high enough enough to kill, but high enough to maim. And particularly dangerous for the people below.

Freak Astaire:
The show is for everyone.

Depressed Debbie:
[Protesting] No, it's NOT! It's for the clinically depressed!

Thor:
[Looking out on the rainy day] Would you say today is *very* gray?

Jimbo:
More like blue-gray

Thor:
[to himself] Damn!

Violet:
Rose has a very sensitive nose. Have you heard of "nasal shock syndrome?" Any harsh, acrid, or just "disgusting" odor sends Rose into nasal shock

Rose:
This wasn't true nasal shock. Had it been, I'd've lost consciousness entirely.

Lily:
Just from some b.o .?

Violet:
"Just some b.o .?" Omigod, Lily, you must have a very high threshold for pain! That'll serve you well here at Seven Oaks!

Heather:
[about Lily's friend] " Zavier " with a " Z? "

Lily:
No, I think it's with an "X."

Heather:
No, I'm certain it's a "Z." " Zavier " Like " Zorro. " It's the same sound. [Draws a "Z" in the air with her finger] Zorro marked his name with a "Z."

Lily:
It's an "X."

Heather:
But Zorro's with a "Z." I t's the same.

Violet:
Okay, let's see if we can figure this out. Used at the beginning of a name, " Z " and "X" have the same pronunciation.

Heather:
But it's Zorro- with a "Z."

Violet:
Actually there were two " Zorros. " One spelt his name with a " Z " and made a " Z " mark for Zorro , the other one spelled him name with an "X" and with his sword he'd make an "X" mark . What was really unfair was that, because he marked his name with an "X", everybody assumed he was illiterate, when actually he was spelling correctly

Violet:
We get a lot of students coming to the center pretending to be depressed to get the donuts.

Rose:
Confidence tricksters!

Violet:
Yes, it's really bad, really cynical. And we made a pledge the donut company that we would only give the donuts to students who were depressed, suicidal or otherwise nutty. We're a non-profit, so the rules are pretty strict.

Violet:
You know, I'm not convinced that having a "Suicide Prevention Center" prevents any suicides.

Rose:
Well, the coffee's good.

Lily:
If someone were really determined to destroy themselves, I don't think they'd stop for coffee.

Heather:
I suppose it depends on what it tastes like.

Heather:
I'm really worried about Thor... It's hard for us to imagine how upsetting it is not knowing what the colors are.

Rose:
In fact it's impossible for me to imagine.

Heather:
When Thor sees a rainbow - it's only so much gibberish to him. There was one this afternoon: Oh my gosh! He took it hard. Recently there was a parade in the city where the marchers carried rainbow- colored flags and banners. Thor was so upset: he said he'd no idea what it meant

Heather:
[after sending soap packets to the Dorms] Doar Dorm has the university's highest fatality rate, as well as the worst hygiene. This could really change things.

Lily:
The highest suicide rate?

Violet:
No, the highest fatality rate - it's not certain what percentage were intentional and how many just due to a temporary unawareness of gravity's laws.