Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

Francis Doyle:
That's all?

Newsie:
Man, that's enough to melt an elephant.

Tim:
Excuse my friend. He thinks he wants to melt two elephants.

Sister Assumpta:
Blake. A little advance don't you think?

Tim:
Not really Sister. It's written simply enough for a six year old.

Sister Assumpta:
So are the instructions for a handgun.

Tim:
I burned all the skin off my hands. I can barely curl my fingers now.

Francis Doyle:
There goes your sex life.

Sister Assumpta:
But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits.

Joey Anderson:
It's Major Screw going at it with an evil warrior babe.

Tim:
Going at what?

Joey Anderson:
69.

Wade Scalisi:
That looks more like 47.

Naturalist:
The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird.

Newsie:
Hey it's the altar boys. Here to get altered?

Tim:
Damnit Sullivan, I don't believe it, we just knocked out a cougar with a K-Mart blow gun!

Margie Flynn:
I used to let Donny do... things to me.

Francis Doyle:
What kind of things?

Margie Flynn:
Everything.

Francis Doyle:
Wait, Donny who?

Francis Doyle:
Your brother?

Tim Sullivan:
You've got to aim lower.

Donny Flynn:
That low enough?

Tim Sullivan:
Not as low as f***ing your own sister.

Tim:
Don't you ever tell me to get real. I know what f***ing real is okay.

Francis Doyle:
When you look at me, I can hardly breathe.