Day the Earth Caught Fire

Night Editor:
...it caused a twelve degree shift in the earth's orbit......and we're moving toward the sun.

Peter Stenning:
Anything you can split I can split better!

Peter Stenning:
Alcoholics of the press, unite!

Bill Maguire:
No woman's irreplaceable, no matter how much you love her. There will be somebody else sooner or later. London's full of somebody else's.

Editor (Jeff):
I don't care a tinker's damn about this eclipse of the sun as such; the evening papers will cane it, it'll be dead by tomorrow morning. But what I do care about is why there was an eclipse of the sun ten days before it was due. Bill, this is your department.

Bill Maguire:
I don't know why everybody regards me as Nostradamus. Your guess is as good as mine.

Editor (Jeff):
Yes, but I don't want guesses, I want facts. Try someone on top. Sir John Kelly....

Bill Maguire:
Stenning got in to see Kelly.

Peter Stenning:
He had twenty-eight armed guards around him.

Editor (Jeff):
Yes, but what did he say?

Peter Stenning:
He wouldn't even say "Good night" in case it was taken as an official comment on the future of mankind.

Bill Maguire:
It's the kid, isn't it?

Peter Stenning:
You ought to see the way they're bringing him up, Bill. It'll be the right prep school next. And then the right boarding school. And by the time they finish with him, he'll be a right bowler-hatted, who's-for-tennis, toffee-nosed gent, but he won't be MY son.

Bill Maguire:
Oh, I don't know. That bad blood of yours is bound to come out.

Sir John Kelly:
When one considers the Moon is 240,000 miles away and the Sun ninety-three million, it is an extraordinary thing that astronomers can tell with such a degree of accuracy what their movements will be many years ahead.

Bill Maguire:
Now, what does that mean?

Peter Stenning:
It means he doesn't know what it's all about.

Sir John Kelly:
As I am sure most of you will know, a solar eclipse occurs as a result of the interposition of the Moon between the Earth and the Sun.

Bill Maguire:
And that, children, is how the little bunny rabbit got his fluffy white tail.