Dennis Miller: All In

Dennis Miller:
I don't even know if I believe in global warming. I don't disbelieve, but I need a little more information. it would appear that the crux of the problem is, over the last century, the temperature has gone up a couple of degrees. eh maybe, maybe not. Excuse me for not trusting temperature figures from the year 1905. They're still shitting outside in the woods, but I'm supposed to believe they had a strangle hold on the Fahrenheit of the earth's magma. I'm sure that was an accurate reading.

Dennis Miller:
Do you think that during the Dust Bowl in the 1930s in the Midwest people thought "Wow, this must be global warming" or did they just think "F***, it hasn't rained in a while."

Dennis Miller:
Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot

Dennis Miller:
Robert Byrd, the senior senator from West Virginia, they talk about him being statesman like, avuncular... he's neither of those. He's insane. And the reason he's insane in because he's 213 years old, for God's sake. Isn't time for him to step down now, go back to West Virginia, and become a greeter at KKK-Mart? Lets face facts, if Robert Byrd were your grandfather and he went off one of these demented screeds at Thanksgiving dinner everyone would sit there, looking up at him, smiling. And as soon as he left the room someone would say "What the f*** are we going to do about Grandpa? Is he eating his own sh*t? Is anyone keeping an eye on him?"

Dennis Miller:
Looks like Hillary could be our next President... you never know... she's got her chance. Although when I read her book and she said she didn't know that Bill ran around on her I remember thinking "Really? I don't think you're smart enough to be my President".

Dennis Miller:
I think Hillary has got a good chance and I only see one guy out on that horizon who could stop her. And that of course is Bill. I think she's going to get close to that job, he's going to get a little freaky and he's going to do it again.

Dennis Miller:
The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends.

Dennis Miller:
Any female teachers watching the show tonight, you've got to quit dating the students. Thats the least we expect out of you. When I was 14 years old, my teacher wouldn't let me bang the erasers.