Dennis Miller: The Raw Feed

Dennis Miller:
We need a return to the basics in this country when you stop to think that only one of the three "R's" actually starts with the letter "r"

Dennis Miller:
What if all those crop circles are just huge ads for Target?

Dennis Miller:
We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra.

Dennis Miller:
Ever wonder if the crop circles were just ads for Target?

[on taxes]

Dennis Miller:
I'm sick and tired of the left telling me what a f***-up I am, and then in the same breath demanding 48% of my f***ed-upedness. How's about the courtesy of a reach-around, guys?

[on Sean Penn's visit to Iraq]

Dennis Miller:
If only Saddam Hussein were a Paparazzi.

Dennis Miller:
I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called "The Right Hand Stuff". I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.

Dennis Miller:
I was wondering if Circuit City could possibly make their receipts just a little bit longer.

Dennis Miller:
Do you know what Barbra Streisand's problem is? She thinks she's Barbra Streisand!

Dennis Miller:
[On Yoda in the latest Star Wars film] He came out that corner with that light-sword like he had the only lighter in a crackhouse.

Dennis Miller:
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets...

Dennis Miller:
[on Iraq] It's time to start kicking ass and taking hyphenated names.

Dennis Miller:
The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic.

Dennis Miller:
[on Afghanistan] Topographically speaking, it makes your cat's litter box look like Monet's garden...