Desperate Hippies

Hash:
Spike got busted, man! He was wanted by the feds for dealing, and that's why he's been hiding out on Weesteria Lane...

Mary Jane:
Dammit! I wish I would of known... I'm all out.

Sensi:
Hey, Mary Jane, who's that hottie in my garden?

Mary Jane:
He's the gardener.

Chee:
Isn't he a little young, even for you?

Sensi:
I like them young. They're easier to train.

Mary Jane:
Trust me, dude, you broke up with that loser you called a boyfriend, like, three weeks ago. That's like, forever.

Sensi:
So is this guy hot?

Hash:
Man, he's like sex on a stick.

Chee:
[bursts in drunk] Oh, my God, you guys, I'm in love!

Mary Jane:
Damn. You too? I need to start pimpin' the street corner.

Mary Jane:
I remembered reading on the internet that if I smoked 1,256 bong riffs, the amount of THC would be enough to kill me.

Spike:
Hey, I like your wheels.

Hash:
Thanks, it's a hybrid. I think more people should be ecofriendly.

Cop:
Get out of the car!!

Spike:
[while being handcuffed] Please, please don't bust me. My parents will kill me! Come on man, it's just weed! Legalize it, don't criticize it!

Chee:
[drunkenly] What the hell are you doing here, you backstabbing b*tch?

Hash:
Chee, I am far too stoned to get into this right now.

Mary Jane:
And I'm far too sober.

Spike:
[while Chee and Hash kick the sh*t out of each other] Man, this is kinda hot!

Sensi:
Hey, whatcha growing there?

Sam "The Gardener":
Promise not to tell anybody... [pulls back a bush to reveal a hidden pot garden] I got plants in all my customers gardens.

Sensi:
Sweet!

Sam "The Gardener":
This one's Purple Kush, and this one's AK-47, and this one here... [Sensi and Sam simultaneously touch the bud] This one's my baby. I call her Sensimillia.