Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

T.J. Hicks:
See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?

Deuce Bigalow:
Where?

T.J. Hicks:
Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?

Deuce Bigalow:
Man-whoring?

T.J. Hicks:
Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.

T.J. Hicks:
I prefer to be called a male madame. Wait, that didn't sound right.

T.J. Hicks:
Don't make me he-b*tch man-slap you!

T.J. Hicks:
You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus.

Detective Fowler:
Do the letters T. and J. mean anything to you?

Deuce Bigalow:
I don't know Turkey Jizz?

T.J. Hicks:
God damn white boy.

T.J. Hicks:
What about Antoine's apartment?

Deuce Bigalow:
I'm gonna get the rest of the money the old-fashioned way.

T.J. Hicks:
You gonna steal it?

Bartender:
There you go. That's uhh... $11.50.

Deuce Bigalow:
Ahh, no, no. Perhaps you misunderstood me. I wish to cancel my original order of the martini and two olives, and go for just the plain cranberry juice, by itself, for the three dollars. And I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Bartender:
Ahh, perhaps you don't understand. Ahh... if you don't pay me now, I'm going to uhh... take this swizzle-stick, and uhh... I'll be shoving that right up your pee-hole.

Antoine Laconte:
Must make peepee.

Deuce Bigalow:
I couldn't help overhearing your Spanish

Claire:
It was French

Deuce Bigalow:
Oui, French... Nice people.

Deuce Bigalow:
Look, I think there's been a mistake.

Fluisa:
Did you say steak?

Deuce Bigalow:
No mistake.

Fluisa:
Oh now you got me all excited.

Antoine Laconte:
This is a fourteenth century Hungarian cross-bow, it killed the king, and changed the history of Europe. If anything happens to my apartment... I'll shove it up your ass.

Deuce Bigalow:
Where am I supposed to get three THOUSAND dollars in three weeks?

Deuce Bigalow:
Wow! What are those?

Antoine Laconte:
Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. There worth twice as much if they've killed somebody.

Deuce Bigalow:
I collect Canadian quarters... I got about six of em...

Fluisa:
Cakes And Pies! Cakes And Pies!

T.J. Hicks:
Claire said Antoine's apartment was messed up, but I had no idea.

Deuce Bigalow:
Claire?

T.J. Hicks:
The hooker you ass-punched.

Kate:
I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's gross and unnatural. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand why men want that kind of thing either.

Deuce Bigalow:
So you're opposed to women being involved in modern space exploration?

Kate:
Absolutely! Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt

Bailiff:
That's a huge b*tch!

Megan:
You stay away from her, man-whore!

Antoine Laconte:
Don't answer my phone or do not drive my car or else I will kill you!

T.J. Hicks:
Deuce, You the best he-b*tch in my man stable, if i had two more manginas like you, I'd be a millionaire.

Ruth:
Fart! Dildo! Big, Big, Big Titties!

Ruth:
SH*T! SH*T WHORES!

T.J.:
I prefer to think of myself as more of a... male madame. That didn't come out right.

Deuce:
Where am I supposed to get $6,000. in three weeks?

[The aquarium attendees catches Deuce cleaning a fish tank naked. He is shocked by their disgusted looks.]

Man:
Yuck!

Woman:
EWW!

[The next moment, he is escorted out of the aquarium by two burly security guards under orders from his boss]

Deuce:
Swim trunks are loaded with detergents and other hazardous chemicals that could be harmful to fish.

[The security guards tosses him out of the facility with his gear and clothes in tow]

Passerby:
Freak!

Passerby #2:
Holy sh*t! It's Bigfoot!

Passerby #3:
Hey, keep it in the circus!

T.J.:
Goddamn white boy.