Disorder in the Court

Judge:
Do you swear...

Curly:
No, but I know all the woids.

Defense attorney:
Mr. Howard, kindly tell the court what you know about the murder of Kirk Robin.

Curly:
Well it was like this, Mr. Court.

Defense attorney:
Address the judge as "Your Honor!"

Curly:
Well it was like this, My Honor.

Defense attorney:
"YOUR Honor", not "My Honor!"

Curly:
Why, don't you like him?

Judge:
Allow the witness to proceed. The court understands him.

Curly:
Thanks, courty! You're a pal!

Moe:
Now Gaily's dance was over. I stuck my head in the office door, and I saw Koik Robin and Buck Wing ahgyin' over by the parrot cage!

District Attorney:
What were they arguing about?

Moe:
I dunno! But Buck Wing was sizzlin' like a hot hamboiguh! He grabs Koik by the neck like that, see, and drags him over to the letter press, see?

Moe:
Then he smacks him on the head like that!

Moe:
Then he pokes his coconut into the letter press, see? Like that! Then he says, "I'll squeeze the cider outta yer Adam's apple!" Then he gives him the woiks, like this! Then he keeps toinin! And twistin'! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the...

Moe:
I say, Jasper, what comes after seventy-five?

Larry:
Seventy-six!

Moe:
That's the Spirit!

Curly:
I'm a victim of circumstance.

Moe:
What comes after 75?

Larry:
76.

Moe:
That's the spirit.

Curly:
I'm no mule.

Moe:
No, your ears are too short.

Larry:
Oh, my Stradavarius. Oh, my beautiful Stradavarius.

Curly:
Are you trying to give me the double talk?

Judge:
He's asking you if you'll swear to tell the truth.

Curly:
Truth is stranger than fiction, Judgie-Wudgie.

Moe:
You're in court, not the woods, Tarzan.

District Attorney:
I'll SU-U-UE for this.

Moe:
Ah, sue-perstitious eh?

Court clerk:
I'll SUE you for this.

Moe:
Oh, sue-perstitious eh?

Judge:
Please control your killing instincts.