Disorderlies

[Kool, Buffy, and Markie sneak back into the house and quietly get Albert in his all terrain wheelchair suddenly the lights come on followed by Chauncey giving two growling barks. Everyone's standing there and Kool, Buffy, and Mark realize they've been caught]

Winslow Lowry:
You've ruined my plans for the evening.

[after a second's pause]

Winslow Lowry:
Listen, from now on I want Albert at home. Where he belongs. Where he's safe. Where he's loved.

Albert Dennison:
Chill out, Winslow. We just went to an all night drug store to get some medicine. And it worked.

Nursing Home Owner:
[enters from the kitchen; angry tone] Who took the chocolate cakes? Buffy! Kool! Mark!

Buffy:
[to himself] Damn!

Kool:
[to himself] Sh*t!

Markie:
[to himself] Busted!

Nursing Home Owner:
Okay now, there were sixteen chocolate cakes in that refrigerator. Where are they?

Kool:
[mumbling] I don't know.

Nursing Home Owner:
I have had it up to here! This is the fifth time that's happened in a week.

Markie:
[Markie, Buffy, and Kool are all pointing at each other saying] It was him.

Nursing Home Owner:
Now, if any of you didn't do it, then who had the keys to the refrigerator?

Buffy:
Not me.

[suddenly, the keys that one of them have drop to the floor]

Nursing Home Owner:
What was that?

Kool:
What was what?

Nursing Home Owner:
Ah, pick those up!

Kool:
[watching a couple of girls skinny dipping] What do you think?

Buffy:
Too skinny.

Kool:
Too damn skinny. You can see their bones and stuff, they look like bicycles. I want a woman that looks like a Cadillac.

Buffy:
I know what you mean.

Sgt. Bledsoe:
Now, you boys better talking some sense, or I'm gonna have to use the Florida lie detector.

Buffy:
What's a Florida lie detector?

[a huge cop with a baseball bat enters the room]

Sgt. Bledsoe:
A Florida lie detector is a 300-pound white man... with a baseball bat.

[Buffy and Kool are in a squad car being driven to a unknown destination by the huge cop and the racist Sgt. Bledsoe]

Buffy:
Uh... look mister officer, Sergeant Bledsoe, sir. I want to point out an unfair situation here.

Huge Cop:
[turns towards them] Shut your fat ugly face!

[both Buffy and Kool look at each other with dread]

Buffy:
Kool, we gotta find a way to get away... now. These guys are gonna kick our asses, man!

Kool:
Yeah, while we're gonna be hurt, Albert's gonna be dead!