Django Unchained

Dr. King Schultz:
How do you like the bounty hunting business?

Django:
Kill white people and get paid for it? What's not to like?

Calvin Candie:
[about Django] He is a rambunctious sort, ain't he?

Django:
[to Big John Brittle] I like the way you die, boy.

Calvin Candie:
[to Schultz] Come on over. We got us a fight going on that's a good bit of fun.

Stephen:
You said you ain't know him.

Broomhilda:
Huh?

Stephen:
I said, "You said you ain't know him."

Broomhilda:
I don't.

Stephen:
Yes, you do.

Broomhilda:
Mister Stephen, I don't.

Stephen:
Why is you lying to me?

Broomhilda:
[on the verge of tears] I ain't.

Stephen:
Then why is you cryin'?

Broomhilda:
You scaring me.

Stephen:
Why is I'm scarin' you?

Broomhilda:
Because you're scary.

Stephen:
I count six shots, n*gger.

Django:
[pulls out a second revolver] I count two guns, n*gger.

Billy Crash:
[after Django attacks one of Candie's men, pulling him off his horse] Oh, you are one lucky n*gger!

Django:
You better listen to your boss, white boy!

Billy Crash:
Oh, I'ma go walkin' in the moonlight with you!

Django:
You wanna hold my hand?

[Billy Crash laughs]

Calvin Candie:
[to Stephen] Stephen, when you get through showing them to their rooms, go fetch Hildi. Get her cleaned up and smellin' real nice and send her over to Dr. Schultz's room.

Stephen:
[laughing] Actually, Monsieur Candie sir, there's something I ain't told you about yet.

Calvin Candie:
What?

Stephen:
Uh, Hildi 'in the hot box.

Calvin Candie:
Well what's she doin' there?

Stephen:
What you think she doin' there, in the hot box? She been punished!

Calvin Candie:
Well what did she do?

Stephen:
She run off again.

Calvin Candie:
Jesus Christ, Stephen! How many people run away while I was gone?

Stephen:
Two.

Calvin Candie:
Well when did she go?

Stephen:
Last night. They brung her back this morning.

Calvin Candie:
How long she been in the box?

Stephen:
How long you think she been in there? All damn day! And the little b*tch got ten more days to be in there.

Calvin Candie:
Take her out.

Stephen:
Take her out? Why?

Calvin Candie:
Because I said so, that's why! Dr. Schultz is my guest. Hildi is my n*gger. Southern hospitality dictates I make her available to him.

Stephen:
But Monsieur Candie, she run off.

Calvin Candie:
Christ, Stephen! What is the point of having a n*gger that speaks German if you can't wheel 'em out when you have a German guest? Now I realize it is an inconvenience! Still, you take her ass out.

Stephen:
Yes sir. [to the Overseers] Ya'll done heard the man! Get her ass up outta there! Go! Get her over there and get her cleaned up and bring her back over here to, uh, Doctor - [to Schultz] What did you say your name was? Shoots?

Dr. King Schultz:
"Schultz."

Stephen:
Schultz.

Calvin Candie:
Your boss looks a little green around the gills.

Django:
He just ain't used to seein' a man ripped apart by dogs is all.

Calvin Candie:
But you are used to it?

Django:
I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is.

[first lines]

Dicky Speck:
[c*cks rifle] Who's that stumblin' around in the dark? State your business or prepare to get winged!

Dr. King Schultz:
Auf Wiedersehen. Bullseye.

Stephen:
Hold your fire. Stop shooting, goddammit!

Django:
[bursts into a room of runaway slave catchers, guns drawn] D'Artagnan, motherf***ers!

Calvin Candie:
Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen, and you, you old decrepit bastard are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?

Django:
[gentlemanly] Cora, before you go, will you tell Miss Lara "goodbye"?

Cora:
Do what now?

Django:
I said, "tell Miss Lara goodbye!"

Cora:
Bye, Miss Lara!

Django:
[quickly shoots Miss Lara, who is comically blown away into another room] Y'all two run along now!

[Cora and Sheeba frantically run out of the house]

Calvin Candie:
White cake?

Dr. King Schultz:
I don't go in for sweets, thank you.

Calvin Candie:
Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?

Dr. King Schultz:
Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.

Calvin Candie:
Come again?

Dr. King Schultz:
Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?

Calvin Candie:
You doubt he'd approve?

Dr. King Schultz:
Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.

Calvin Candie:
Soft hearted Frenchy?

Dr. King Schultz:
Alexander Dumas was black.

Dr. King Schultz:
[toasting their business transaction] Prost!

Calvin Candie:
[toasting in kind]... German.

Ace Speck:
[as Dr. Schultz questions Django] Hey! Stop talking to him like that.

Dr. King Schultz:
[looks to Ace] Like what?

Ace Speck:
Like that.

Dr. King Schultz:
My dear sir, I am simply trying to ascertain...

Ace Speck:
Speak English, goddamn it.

Dr. King Schultz:
Everybody calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.

Ace Speck:
I don't care. No sale. Now off with you.

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh don't be ridiculous. Of course they're for sale.

Ace Speck:
[points shotgun at Schultz] Move it.

Dr. King Schultz:
My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture, or are you pointing your weapon at me with lethal intention?

Ace Speck:
[c*cks shotgun] Last chance, fancy pants.

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh well, very well. [pulls out pistol and shoots Ace and Dicky's horse]

Dr. King Schultz:
Our mutual friend has a flair for the dramatic.

[repeated line]

Django:
Hey, little troublemaker.

Stephen:
DJANGO! You uppity son of a b... [Plantation blows up]

Calvin Candie:
Everybody stop antagonizing my guest.

Dr. King Schultz:
You silver tongued devil, you.

Dr. King Schultz:
[to Django after shooting Calvin] I'm sorry... [pause] I couldn't resist. [Butch raises his gun and shoots at Schultz]

[last lines]

Django:
Let's get out of here.

Big John Brittle:
[preparing to whip Little Jody] And the Lord said "The fear of ye, and the dread of ye, shall be on every beast of the Earth."

Calvin Candie:
I've heard tell about you. I heard you been telling everybody them mandingos ain't no damn good, ain't nothing nobody is selling is worth buying - I'm curious. What makes you such a mandingo expert?

Django:
I'm curious what makes you so curious.

Django:
[playing his role as a black slaver to the hilt] You niggas gon' understand something about me! I'm worse than any of these white men here! You get the molasses out your ass, and you keep your goddamn eyeballs off me!

Dr. King Schultz:
[in disbelief] Let me get this straight: Your slave wife speaks German and her name is Broomhilda von Schaft?

Django:
Yep.

Calvin Candie:
[to Django] So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?

Django:
Not for top dollar.

Calvin Candie:
Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass n*gger from me, those are the beat ass n*ggers I want to sell, so...

Django:
He don't wanna buy the n*ggers you wanna sell. He wants the n*gger you don't wanna sell.

Calvin Candie:
Well, I don't sell the n*ggers I don't wanna sell.

Dr. King Schultz:
Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it? [laughs] Who knows what could happen?

Calvin Candie:
And what do you consider "ridiculous?"

Dr. King Schultz:
For a truly talented specimen, the right n*gger? How much would you say, Django?

Django:
...12,000 dollars.

Calvin Candie:
Gentleman, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

Dr. King Schultz:
And as if on cue, here comes the sheriff!

Sheriff Bill Sharp:
[Comes in tavern] Okay, boys, fun's over! Come on out. [Bill Sharp leads Schultz and Django outside while an anxious crowd watches] Alright folks, calm down! Go about your business. The jokers will be gone soon. [Turns to Schultz and Django] Now, why do ya'll wanna come into my town and start trouble? And scare all of these nice people? You ain't got nothing better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass-! [Dr. Schultz suddenly raises his derringer and shoots the sheriff in the stomach]

Dr. King Schultz:
Anything else about Mr. Candie I should know about before I meet him?

Leonide Moguy:
Yes, he is a bit of a francophile. Well, what civilized people aren't? And he prefers "Monsieur Candie" to "Mr. Candie".

Dr. King Schultz:
Si c'est cela qu'il pr?f?re. [Whatever he prefers]

Leonide Moguy:
He doesn't speak French. Don't speak French to him, it'll embarrass him.

Calvin Candie:
[the library doors open revealing Calvin Candie, Stephen is sifting his brandy] What is the matter?

Stephen:
[swirling his brandy glass, looks up] Them motherf***ers ain't here to buy no mandingos. They's here for that girl.

Django:
You said in seventy-six years on this plantation, you've seen all manner of sh*t done to n*ggers but I notice... you didn't mention kneecapping.

[Django shoots Stephen in the kneecap]

Stephen:
Oh, God! Motherf***er! Damn it!

Django:
Seventy-six years, Stephen. How many n*ggers you think you seen come and go? Seven thousand? Eight thousand? Nine thousand? Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine? Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie's mouth was nothing but horseshit, but he was right about one thing: I am that one n*gger in ten thousand.

[He shoots Stephen in the other kneecap]

Stephen:
Oh, you son of a b*tch! Oh, you motherf***er! Oh, sweet Jesus, let me kill this n*gger!

Dr. King Schultz:
Who is your little friend?

Calvin Candie:
This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Well Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility. Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben. Hey! Now lay your palms flat on the table top! If you lift those palms off that turtle shell table top, Mr. Pooch is gonna let loose with both barrels of that sawed off! There have been a lot of lies said around this dinner table here tonight, but that you can believe!

Big Daddy:
[instructing raiding party] Now unless they start shooting first, nobody shoot 'em. That's way too simple for these jokers. We're gonna whoop that n*gger lover to death! And I am personally gonna strip and clip that gaboon myself!

[puts on bag]

Big Daddy:
Damn! I can't see f***in' sh*t outta this thing.

Unnamed Baghead:
We ready or what?

Big Daddy:
Naw, hold on, I'm f***in' with my eye holes.

[rips bag]

Big Daddy:
Oh. Oh, sh*t.

[takes off bag]

Big Daddy:
Ah, I just made it worse.

Unnamed Baghead:
Who made this goddamn sh*t?

Other Unnamed Baghead:
Willard's wife.

Willard:
Well, make your own goddamn mask!

Big Daddy:
Look. Nobody's sayin' they don't appreciate what Jenny did.

Unnamed Baghead:
Well, if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I coulda cut it better than this!

Other Unnamed Baghead:
What about you, Robert? Can you see?

Robert:
Not too good. I mean, if I don't move my head I can see you pretty good, more or less. But when I start ridin', the bag's movin' all over, and I - I'm ridin' blind.

Bag Head #2:
[rips bag] Sh*t. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?

Unnamed Baghead:
No! Nobody brought an extra bag!

Unnamed Baghead:
[raiding party is discussing their bags] Do we have to wear 'em when we ride?

Big Daddy:
Oh, well shitfire! If you don't wear 'em as you ride up, that just defeats the purpose!

Unnamed Baghead:
Well, I can't see in this f***in' thing!

[takes bag off]

Unnamed Baghead:
I can't breathe in this f***in' thing, and I can't ride in this f***in' thing!

Willard:
Well f*** all y'all! I'm going home! You know, I watched my wife work all day gettin' thirty bags together for you ungrateful sons of b*tches! And all I can hear is criticize, criticize, criticize! From now on, don't ask me or mine for nothin'!

Big Daddy:
Now look. Let's not forget why we're here. We gotta kill a n*gger over that hill there! And we gotta make a lesson out of him!

Bag Head #2:
Okay, I'm confused. Are the bags on or off?

Robert:
I think... we all think the bag was a nice idea. But - not pointin' any fingers - they coulda been done better. So, how 'bout, no bags this time - but next time, we do the bags right, and then we go full regalia.

[all agree]

Big Daddy:
Wait a minute! I didn't say 'no bags'!

Bag Head #2:
But nobody can see.

Big Daddy:
So?

Bag Head #2:
So, it'd be nice to see.

Big Daddy:
Goddammit! This is a raid! I can't see! You can't see! So what? All that matters is can the f***in' horse see? That's a raid!

Dr. King Schultz:
[aiming .45-70 rifle at fleeing Ellis Brittle] You sure that's him?

Django:
Yeah.

Dr. King Schultz:
Positive?

Django:
I don't know.

Dr. King Schultz:
You don't know if you're positive?

Django:
I don't know what 'positive' means.

Dr. King Schultz:
It means you're sure.

Django:
Yes.

Dr. King Schultz:
Yes, what?

Django:
Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle. [Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse] I'm positive he dead.

Calvin Candie:
Hello. Stephen, my boy!

Stephen:
[black house servant exiting the Big House] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my ass. Who dis n*gger up on dat nag?

Calvin Candie:
Aw, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What's the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?

Stephen:
Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a hawg miss slop. Like a baby miss mammy titty! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Now, I aks you, who dis n*gger on dat nag?

Django:
Hey, Snowball. You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.

Stephen:
Just who the hell you callin' 'Snowball,' hoss boy? I'll snatch yo black ass off dat nag down here in the mud so fast make yo head spin!

Calvin Candie:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here's a freeman.

Stephen:
Dis n*gger here?

Calvin Candie:
That n*gger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is a another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two oughta hate each other.

Stephen:
Calvin, just who the hell is dis n*gger you feel's the need to entertain?

Calvin Candie:
Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, you are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?

Stephen:
Yes, sir. Him I understands, but I don't know why I got to take lip off dis n*gger.

Calvin Candie:
You don't have to know why. Do you understand?

Stephen:
Yes, sir. I understand.

Calvin Candie:
Well, good. They're spending the night. Go open the guest bedrooms and get two ready.

Stephen:
[mortified] He gawn stay in the Big House?

Calvin Candie:
Stephen. He's a slaver. It's different.

Stephen:
In the Big House?

Calvin Candie:
Well, you got a problem with that?

Stephen:
Aw, naw, naw. I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcase, and everything else when this black-ass motherf***er's gone!

Calvin Candie:
That is my problem! They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!

Stephen:
Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.

Calvin Candie:
Go on, now.

Stephen:
Cain't believe you brought a n*gger to stay in the Big House. Yo daddy's rollin' over in his goddamn grave, right now. Brought a n*gger to stay with us. What kinda sh*t is that?

Calvin Candie:
Man, the lip on him! Whoo! He's getting worse and worse. Now, WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER?

Dr. King Schultz:
My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, Marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of 200 dollars. Now, that's 200 dollars, dead or alive.

U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum:
The hell you say!

Dr. King Schultz:
I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news. But I'm willing to wager this man was elected sheriff sometime in the last two years. I know this because three years ago, he was rustling cattle from the B.C. Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now, this is a warrant, made out by circuit court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas. You're encouraged to wire him. He'll back up who I am, and who your dear departed sheriff was. In other words Marshall... you owe me 200 dollars.

Django:
I'll be damned!

Dr. King Schultz:
Good morning, inn keeper. Two beers for two weary travelers!

Innkeeper:
[while busy fixing a lamp bulb in the diner] Ah, it's still a bit early. We won't be open for another hour. By then, we'll be servin' breakfast- [the innkeeper turns around and sees Schultz with Django; he gasps frantically] Whoa, whoa, WHOA, WHOA! [to Django] What the hell you think you're doing, boy? [to Schultz] Get that n*gger outta here! [the innkeeper is then shown running outside] Help! HELP!

Dr. King Schultz:
[Schultz runs after him] Innkeeper... innkeeper! Remember, get the sheriff, not the marshal!

Innkeeper:
[as he is running through the town] Sheriff! Help!

Dr. King Schultz:
[Schultz returns to the inn and shrugs to Django] Alas! Now we must act as our own bartender. Sit down, my boy. [Django sits at the table while Schultz goes to the bar to prepare two glasses of beer]

Django:
It's me, baby...

Dr. King Schultz:
I wish to parley with you.

Dicky Speck:
Speak English.

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. it *is* a second language.

Calvin Candie:
How long was he lose?

Mr. Stonesipher:
About, a day. Just the other night.

Calvin Candie:
How far he get off of the property?

Mr. Stonesipher:
About twenty miles off the prop. Pretty far considering that limp he's got though.

Calvin Candie:
M-hmm.

Dr. King Schultz:
[Turns to the four remaining slaves] Now, as to you poor devils. So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One: once I'm gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town; which would be at least 37 miles back the way you came. Or two: you could unshackle yourselves, take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. The choice is yours.

[Starts to ride off but stops to talk to the slaves again]

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh! And on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata!

[Dr. Shultz rides away with his horse and wagon; Django follows him on horseback but keeps watch of what the four other slaves do to Dicky Speck]

Dicky Speck:
[the slaves watch both Shultz and Django walk away and all turn to Dicky Speck, who is lying on the ground wounded] Now, wait a minute, fellas! Let's talk about this!

[the black men start approaching him aggressively. One of the men drops the lantern; the slaves each take off their blankets and a couple of them pick up sticks]

Dicky Speck:
You gotta be reasonable in a situation like this!

[the slaves continue walking towards him, not saying a word. The man on the far right holds a rifle. Django watches and observes all of this]

Dicky Speck:
I'm not a bad guy, I'm just doing my job! Blueberry, didn't I give you my last apple? Tell you what, boys, take me to the doc in El Paso, and I'll get you your freedom.

[We hear the rifle cocking]

Dicky Speck:
No... wait!

[the slaves shoot and kill Dicky Speck]

Dr. King Schultz:
Well, Broomhilda was a princess. She was a daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyways, Her father is really mad at her.

Django:
What she do?

Dr. King Schultz:
I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of the mountain.

Django:
Broomhilda's on a mountain?

Dr. King Schultz:
It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain. And he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there, Broomhilda shall remain. Unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.

Django:
Does a fella arise?

Dr. King Schultz:
Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. A fella named Siegfried.

Django:
Does Siegfried save her?

Dr. King Schultz:
[Nods] Quiet spectacularly so. He scales the mountain, because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon, because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire... because Broomhilda's worth it.

Django:
I know how he feel.

Calvin Candie:
Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right n*gger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles... [Candie aggressively grabs Broomhilda's head, she whimpers as Django looks on intensively]... went through a whole lot of trouble... [Candie continues holding Broomhilda's head, and starts rubbing her face]... and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right n*gger. And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price... is $12,000.

Dr. King Schultz:
And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?

Calvin Candie:
[Candie lets go of Broomhila's head] Yes, I do, Doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property... and I can choose to do with MY PROPERTY... WHATEVER I SO DESIRE! [Candie rubs his injured hand and smears the blood all over Broomhilda's face; she shrieks and moans in disgust and fear] And if y'all think my price for this n*gger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is... [Candie causally sets his cigarette down; he suddenly but quickly picks up his hammer and violently grabs hold of Broomhilda's hair, slamming her face on the dinner table and raising the hammer above her head. Schultz jumps while Django rises up out of his seat] TAKE THIS GODDAMNED HAMMER HERE, AND BEAT HER ASS TO DEATH WITH IT! RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH YA'LL! THEN WE CAN EXAMINE THE THREE DIMPLES INSIDE BROOMHILDA'S SKULL! NOW... WHAT'S IT GONNA BE DOC? HUH? WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?

Dr. King Schultz:
[Screams back nervously] May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold?

Calvin Candie:
YES, you may! [Schultz quickly retrieves his wallet out of his pocket and tosses it on the table; Stephen grabs it and starts counting the money]

Stephen:
[Nods to Calvin with the cash] That twelve. [Candie greedily smiles as Stephen drops the cash in front of him]

Calvin Candie:
[Lets go of Broomhilda's head and slams the hammer loudly on the table] SOLD... TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL N*GGER!

Big Daddy:
It's against the law for n*ggers to ride horses in this territory.

Dr. King Schultz:
This is my valet, and my valet doesn't walk...

Big Daddy:
I said, n*ggers on horses...

Dr. King Schultz:
His name is Django, he's a free man, and he can ride what he pleases!

Big Daddy:
Not on my property, not around my n*ggers he can't!

Dr. King Schultz:
My good sir, perhaps we got off on the wrong boot. Allow me to unring this bell! My name is Dr.King Schultz, this is my valet, Django, and these are our horses, Fritz, and Tony.

[Fritz the horse does his bow, making the slave girls giggle]

Dr. King Schultz:
Mr. Bennett, I've been lead to believe you are a gentleman, and a business man. And it is in these capacities that we've ridden from Texas to Tennessee to talk with you now.

Big Daddy:
State your business.

Dr. King Schultz:
I wish to purchase one of your n*gger gals!

Big Daddy:
You and your Jimmie rode from Texas to Tennessee, to buy one of my n*gger gals, no appointment, no nothin'?

Dr. King Schultz:
Well, I'm afraid so!

Big Daddy:
Well what if I say, I don't like you, or your fancy pants n*gger, and I wouldn't sell you a tinkers damn! Now, what'cha gotta say about that?

Dr. King Schultz:
[Django hands his head, Schultz looks at him and looks back up at Big Daddy] Mr. Bennett! If you are the business man I've been led to believe you to be, I have five thousand things I might say that could change your mind.

Big Daddy:
[laughs] Well, c'mon inside and get yourself somethin' cool to drank!

Betina:
What'cha do for your massa'?

Django:
Didn't you hear him tell ya, I ain't no slave?

Betina:
So, you really free?

Django:
Yeah, I is free.

Betina:
So, you wanna dress like that?

Django:
[while whipping Roger Brittle] Keep it funny!

Dr. King Schultz:
[Big Daddy approaches with a mob of other people to confront Schultz and Django after they killed the Brittle brothers] Everybody calm down, we mean no one else any harm!

Big Daddy:
Who are you two jokers?

Dr. King Schultz:
I am Dr. King Schultz, a legal representative of the criminal justice system of the United States of America. The man to my left is Django Freeman, he's my deputy. In my pocket is a warrant signed by circuit court judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin, Texas, for the arrest and capture, dead or alive, of John Brittle, Ellis Brittle, and Roger Brittle...

Django:
They were going by the name of "Shaffer."

Dr. King Schultz:
You know them by the name "Shaffer," but the butchers real names were Brittle. These are wanted men; the law wants them for murder. I reiterate, this warrant states "dead or alive." When Django and myself executed these men on sight, we were operating within our legal boundaries. Now, I realize passions are high, but I must warn you, the penalty for taking deadly force against a officer of the court in the performance of his duty is, you will be hung by the neck until you are dead.

Dr. King Schultz:
[pause] May I please remove the warrant from my pocket so you may examine it?

Big Daddy:
[Resting his rifle on his shoulder] Gimme.

Dr. King Schultz:
Satisfied? May I have that back?

Big Daddy:
Get off my land!

Stephen:
[after Django is recaptured, stripped naked, taken to a barn and chained upside down from the ceiling; Stephen walks in and throws a bag of filthy clothes on the barn floor] You leaving. This here is what you take with you. [Stephen pulls up a stool and sits in front of the hanging Django] Your black ass is what all them motherf***ers at the Big House could talk about for the last few hours. Seem like white folk ain't never had a bright idea in they life was coming up with all kinds of ways to kill your ass. Now, mind you, most of them ideas had to do with f***ing with your fun parts. Now, that may seem like a good idea, but the truth is, when you snip a nigga's nuts, most of them bleed out in, oh, about... seven minutes. Most of them. [Stephen chuckles at the shivering, then-helpless Django] Well, more than most. Then I says, "Shitfire! The niggas we sell to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" And they say, "Let's whip him to death!", or "Throw him to the Mandingos. Feed him to Stonesipher's dogs." And I said, "What's so special about that? We do that sh*t all the time! Hell's bells, the niggas we sell to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" Lo and behold, out of nowhere, Miss Laura come up with the bright idea of giving your ass to the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company! [Django just stares at the old man talking to him] And as a slave of the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company, henceforth until the day you die, all day, every day, you will be swingin' a sledgehammer, turnin' big rocks into little rocks. Now, when you get there, they gonna take away your name, give you a number and a sledgehammer, and say, "Get to work!" One word of sass, they cut out your tongue. And they good at it, too. You won't bleed out. Oh, they does that real good! They gonna work ya all day, every day 'till your back give out. Then, they're gonna hit you in the head with a hammer, throw your ass down the n*gger hole. [Django looks on] And THAT will be the story of you, Django!

Dr. King Schultz:
Do most slaves believe in marriage?

Django:
Oh, me and wife did. Old Man Carrucan didn't. That's why we, uh, we run off.

Old Man Carrucan:
[During Django's flashback when he was a slave on the Carrucan plantation] Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boy's got sand! I got no use for a n*gger with sand. [Django, with a metal collar around his neck and face, looks on] I want you to burn a runaway "R" right here on his cheek, and the girl, too. [Django groans] And I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell them. Both of them... separately. [Django looks at Old Man Carrucan with rage] And this one... you will sell him cheap!

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh, Monsieur Candie, you can't imagine what it's like not to hear your mother tongue in four years.

Calvin Candie:
Well hell, I can't imagine two weeks in Boston!

Stephen:
[laughs out loud] "Two weeks in Boston!" Monsieur Candie, you a mess!

Big Daddy:
Uh, Betina?

Betina:
Yes sir, Big Daddy?

Big Daddy:
Uh... [to Schultz] What's your Jimmie's name again?

Dr. King Schultz:
Django.

Big Daddy:
Django! [to Betina] Betina, sugar, could you take Django there and take him around the grounds here and show him all the pretty stuff?

Betina:
As you please, Big Daddy!

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh, Mr. Bennett, I must remind you, Django is a free man. He cannot be treated like a slave. He... within the boundaries of good taste, he must be treated as an extension of myself.

Big Daddy:
Understood. Betina, sugar?

Betina:
Yes?

Big Daddy:
Django isn't a slave. Django is a free man. You understand? [Betina pauses] You can't treat him like any of the other n*ggers around here, 'cause he ain't like any of the other n*gger around here. Ya got it?

Betina:
You mean, you want me to actually treat him like white folks?

Big Daddy:
No, that's not what I said!

Betina:
Then I don't know what you want, Big Daddy!

Big Daddy:
Yes, I can see that. Uh, what's the name of that peckerwood boy from town that works with the glass? His momma work at the lumberyard...

Big Daddy's Mammy:
Oh, you mean Jerry?

Big Daddy:
That's the boy's name, Jerry! [to Betina] You know Jerry, don't ya, sugar?

Betina:
Yes, Big Daddy.

Big Daddy:
Well, that's it then! Just treat him like you would Jerry!

Dr. King Schultz:
How long have you been associated with Mr. Candie?

Leonide Moguy:
Oh, Calvin's father and I were about eleven when we went to boarding school together. Calvin's father's father put me through law school. One could almost say I was raised to be Calvin's lawyer.

Django:
One could almost say you's a nigga.

Leonide Moguy:
What did you say?

Django:
I said...

Dr. King Schultz:
He's just being cheeky.

Dr. King Schultz:
Let's just hope she works in the house, not in the field.

Django:
Oh, no, she ain't no field n*gger. She... She pretty. And she talk good, too. But when they tore her back up and then they... burned that runaway "r" on her cheek... they goddamned her. She ain't no field n*gger but she ain't good enough for the house no more either. They gonna try to make her a comfort girl.

Dr. King Schultz:
What's a comfort...? Oh.

Dicky Speck:
[as Django walks over to Ace Speck's body to retrieve his coat] N*gger! Don't you touch my brother's coat! [Django turns around and walks towards Dicky Speck; he angrily stomps on his shattered leg] AHHH! GOD DAMN IT! OH!

Calvin Candie:
[after selling Broomhilda to Django and Schultz] Mr. Moguy!

Leonide Moguy:
Yes, Calvin?

Calvin Candie:
You make this gentlemen a receipt for $12,000, please. [Candie stands up and casually examines his cut hand] It was a pleasure doing business with y'all. [pause] Now gentlemen, if you care to join me in the parlor, we will be serving white cake...

Stephen:
[singing] In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore. In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore... [continues signing] In the sweet...

Django:
[Django appears and starts singing] By and by... Ohhhhhh! [Stephen, Miss Lara and everybody else in the room jerks up to Django, who is standing on the top balcony lighting candles] Ya'll gonna be together with Calvin in the "bye-and-bye..." [Django pauses as Billy Crash walks up]... just a bit sooner than ya'll was expecting!

Django:
[Django shoots Billy Crash in the arm; he falls to the floor injured and wailing] Billy Crash! [pause] Now, where were we? Oh... that's right! Last time I saw you, you had your hands around my- [Django shoots Billy Crash in the genital area; he starts screaming]

Billy Crash:
D-Jango! You black son of a b*tch!

Django:
[calmly] The "D" is silent, hillbilly! [Django shoots Billy Crash dead]

Django:
Hey, white boy!

[pause]

Django:
I said, "hey, white boy!"

The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee:
Shut up, black! You ain't got nothing to say I wanna hear!

Django:
How would you like to make $11,000?

The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee:
[to Django] You're alright for a black fella!

Amerigo Vessepi:
[Franco Nero played the original Django] What's your name?

Django:
Django...

Amerigo Vessepi:
Can you spell it?

Django:
D-J-A-N-G-O... The D is silent.

Amerigo Vessepi:
I know...

Django:
[as Schultz prepares to pour the beer] What kind of dentist are you?

Dr. King Schultz:
[smiles] Ha! [Schultz fills the beer glasses from the tap] Despite that cart, I haven't practiced dentistry in five years. But these days, I practice a new profession... [Schultz grabs the glasses filled with beer and gives a drink to Django] Bounty hunter. [Schultz sits down with his own glass] Do you know what a bounty hunter is?

Django:
No.

Dr. King Schultz:
Well, the way the slave trade deals in human lives for cash, a bounty hunter deals in corpses. [Schultz clinks his beer glass to Django's] Prost! [pause] The state places a bounty on a man's head. I track that man, I find that man, I kill that man. [pause] After I've killed him, I transport that man's corpse back to the authorities. Sometimes that's easier said than done. I show that corpse to the authorities, proving yes, indeed, I truly have killed him, at which point the authorities pay me the bounty. So, like slavery, it's a flesh for cash business.

Django:
You kill people? And they give you a reward?

Dr. King Schultz:
Certain people, yeah...

Django:
Bad people?

Dr. King Schultz:
[grins] Ah! Badder they are, the bigger the reward.

Dr. King Schultz:
On one hand, I despise slavery. On the other hand, I need your help. If you're not in a position to refuse, all the better. So, for the time being, I'm gonna make this slavery malarkey work to my benefit. Still, having said that, I feel guilty... [pause] So, I would like the two of us to enter into an agreement. [Schultz leans in on Django] I'm looking for the Brittle brothers. [Django stares at him] However, at this endeavor, I'm at a slight disadvantage insofar as I don't know what they look like. [pause] But you do. Don't ya?

Django:
[Django leans in on Schultz] Oh, I know what they look like, all right.

Dr. King Schultz:
Good. So here's my agreement: You travel with me until we find them...

Django:
[Django smiles] Where we goin'?

Dr. King Schultz:
I hear at least two of them are overseeing up in Gatlinburg, but I don't know where. That means we visit every plantation in Gatlinburg till we find 'em. And when we find them, you point them out, and I kill them. [Django smirks and nods] You do that, I agree to give you your freedom; $25 per Brittle brother.

Dr. King Schultz:
Mister Candie, normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye! [Dr. Schultz turns around to leave with Django and Broomhilda]

Calvin Candie:
[Candie sulks in his library chair for a brief moment as he watches Schultz walk out. He then raises his hand to stop the doctor] Hmm! One more moment, Doctor!

Dr. King Schultz:
[stops and faces Candie] What?

Calvin Candie:
[Candie raises out of his chair] It's a custom here in the South once a business deal is concluded for the two parties to shake hands. It implies good faith...

Dr. King Schultz:
I'm not from the South- [Schultz turns again]

Calvin Candie:
But you are in my house, Doctor! So, I'm afraid I must insist...

Dr. King Schultz:
Insist what? That I shake your hand before I leave? [pause] Then I'm afraid I must insist in the opposite direction!

Calvin Candie:
[Calvin walks closer to the German doctor] You know what I think you are?

Dr. King Schultz:
Do I know what you think I am? No, I don't!

Calvin Candie:
I think you are a bad loser!

Dr. King Schultz:
And I think you're an abysmal winner!

Calvin Candie:
Never the less, here in Chickasaw County, a deal ain't done till the two parties have shook hands. Even after all this paper signin', don't mean sh*t you don't shake my hand.

Dr. King Schultz:
And if I don't shake your hand, you're gonna throw away $12,000? I don't think so!

Calvin Candie:
Mr. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this n*gger-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her ass down! [Butch turns around to Broomhilda and clicks his gun. Django stands in front of Broomhilda to protect her in case she gets shot; he looks at Schultz. Dr. Schultz glares back at Django with an angry look on his face]

Dr. King Schultz:
[Dr. Schultz turns back at Candie] You REALLY want me to shake your hand?

Calvin Candie:
[Candie holds out his hand and smirks] I insist!

Dr. King Schultz:
Oh, if you insist... [Schultz smiles and walks up to Candie, pretending to willfully shake his hand; he instead raises a tiny gun hidden under his sleeve and shoots Candie in the chest]

Dr. King Schultz:
Bonsoir ma petite femme noir.

Ace Speck:
Move it!

Dr King Schultz:
My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture, or are you pointing that weapon at me with lethal intention?

Ace Speck:
(c*cks rifle) Last chance, fancy pants.

Dr Schultz:
Oh very well. (drops his latern and draws his revolver, shooting Ace and Dicky's horse in the head, the latter falling under the rider and crushing his leg)

Dr Schultz:
I'm sorry to put a bullet in your beast, but I didn't want you to do anything rash before you had a moment to come to your senses.

Dicky Speck:
You goddamn son of a b*tch! You shot Rascal! And you killed Ace!

Dr Schultz:
I only shot your brother once he threatened to shoot me, and I believe I have (counts slaves) one, two, three, four, five, six, seven witness who can attest to that fact.

Dicky Speck:
My leg's busted!

Dr Schultz:
(drily) No doubt.

[Django and Schultz walk into the saloon in Daughtrey]

Dr. King Schultz:
Good morning, innkeeper! Two beers for two weary travelers.

Saloon Keeper Pete:
It's still a bit early. We won't be open for another hour. By then, we'll be servin' breakfast. [sees Django] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell do you think you're doing, boy?! Get that n*gger out of here! [runs out of the saloon] Help! Help!

Schultz:
Innkeeper! Remember, get the Sheriff, not the Marshal!

Pete:
Sheriff! Sheriff!

Schultz:
Alas. Now we must act as our own bartender. Sit down, my boy. [drafts two beer mugs]

Django:
What kinda dentist are you?

Schultz:
[laughs] Despite that cart I haven't practiced dentistry in five years. But these days I practice a new profession: bounty hunter. Do you know what a bounty hunter is?

Django:
No.

Schultz:
Well, the way the slave trade deals in human lives for cash, a bounty hunter deals in corpses. [clicks his tongue] Hat. [Django moves his hat aside; Schultz set the two beers on the table] Prost? The state places a bounty on a man's head. I track that man, I find that man, I kill that man. After I've killed him, I transport that man's corpse back to the authorities - sometimes that's easier said than done. I show that corpse to the authorities - proving yes indeed I truly have killed him, at which point the authorities pay me the bounty. So, like slavery, it's a flesh for cash business.

Django:
What's a bounty?

Schultz:
It's like a reward.

Django:
You kill people? And they give you a reward?

Schultz:
Certain people, yeah.

Django:
Bad people?

Schultz:
Ah, badder they are, bigger the reward. Which brings me to you, and I must admit I'm at a bit of a quandary when it comes to you. On one hand I despise slavery, on the other hand I need your help. If you're not in a position to refuse, all the better. So for the time being I'm gonna make this slavery malarkey work to my benefit. Still, having said that, I feel guilty. So, I would like the two of us to enter into an agreement. I'm looking for the Brittle brothers. However in this endeavor I'm at a slight disadvantage in so far as I have no idea what they look like. But you do...don'tcha?

Django:
I know what they look like all right.

Schultz:
Good. So, here's my agreement. You travel with me until we find them.

Django:
Where we goin'?

Schultz:
I hear at least two of them are overseeing up in Gatlinburg, but I don't know where. That means we visit every plantation in Gatlinburg till we find them. And when we find them, you point them out, and I kill them. You do that, I agree to give you your freedom, twenty-five dollars per Brittle Brother, that's seventy-five dollars — and, as if on cue, here comes the Sheriff.

Sheriff Bill Sharp:
Okay, boys! Fun's over. Come on out. [Schultz and Django step outside] Alright, folks, calm down! Go about your business. These jokers will be gone soon. Now, why y'all wanna come into my town and start trouble, and scare all these nice people? You ain't got nothin' better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass? [Schultz advances on the sheriff and shoots him with a concealed derringer.]

Pedestrian:
What did you just do to our Sheriff? [Schultz walks around the wounded sheriff and shoots him again in the head]

Schultz:
[to the bartender] Now you can get the marshal.

Pete:
Marshal! Marshal!

Django Freeman:
How you know Brunhilde's first master's was German?

Dr. King Schultz:
Brunhilde is a German name. If they named her it stands to reason they'd be German.

Django:
Lots of gals where you from named Brunhilde?

Schultz:
Brunhilde is the name of a character in the most popular of all the German legends.

Django:
There's a story 'bout Brunhilde?

Schultz:
Yes there is.

Django:
Do you know it?

Schultz:
Oh every German knows that story. Would you like me to tell you? [Django nods] Well, Brunhilde was a princess. She was the daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyway her father is really mad at her.

Django:
What'd she do?

Schultz:
I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of a mountain.

Django:
Brunhilde's on a mountain?

Schultz:
It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain, and he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there Brunhilde shall remain unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.

Django:
Does a fella arise?

Schultz:
Yes Django, as a matter of fact he does. A fella named Sigfried.

Django:
Does Sigfried save her?

Schultz:
[nods] Quite spectacularly so. He scales the mountain because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire because Brunhilde's worth it.

Django:
I know how he feels.

Schultz:
I think I'm just starting to realize that. Look Django, I don't doubt that one day you'll save your lady love, but I can't let you go into Greenville in a good conscience. A slave auction town in Mississippi isn't the place for you to visit, free or not it's just too dangerous. But let me ask you a question: how do you like the bounty hunting business?

Django:
Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's not to like?

Schultz:
I have to admit we make a good team.

Django:
I thought you was mad at me for killin' Big John and Little Raj.

Schultz:
Yeah, on that occasion you were a tad overzealous, but normally that's a good thing. How'd you like to partner up for the winter?

Django:
Whatcha mean partner up?

Schultz:
You work with me through the winter till the snow melts. I give you a third of my bounties so we make some money this winter and when the snow melts I'll take you to Greenville myself and we'll find where they sent your wife.

Django:
Why you care what happens to me? Why you care if I find my wife?

Schultz:
Frankly, I've never given anybody their freedom before, and now that I have I feel vaguely responsible for you. Plus when a German meets a real-life Sigfried that's kind of a big deal. As a German I'm obliged to help you on your quest to rescue your beloved Brunhilde.

Billy Crash:
[To Django] So y'all bounty hunters, huh? I knew there was somethin' fishy 'bout y'all. We found your wanted posters and book of figures in your saddle bags. I gotta say, I ain't never hearda no black bounty hunter before. Black boy paid to kill white men, how'd ya like that kinda work? Probably pretty good while it lasted, huh? [holding a knife to Django's groin] Time to say goodbye to them nuts, blackie. On three. One. [Django screams in pain] I gotcha. Two. [Django yells a muffled "please!"] Calm down now, here it comes.

Stephen:
Captain? Miss Lara wanna see you. Somethin' to do with the old man's funeral. Oh, and she changed her mind 'bout snippin' Django. She gonna give 'em to the LeQuint Dickey people.

Billy Crash:
[annoyed] Well she didn't waste a minute tellin' me. How disappointing.

[Candie's family and friends enter Candieland after the funeral. As they enter, Stephen sings "In the Sweet By and By"]

Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly:
Cora, would you prepare us some coffee?

Stephen:
Sheba, you help her.

Cora:
Come on.

Stephen:
In the sweet...

Django:
[singing in the shadows] "...By and by." [walks into view] Oh, y'all gonna be together with Calvin in the by-and-by, just a bit sooner than y'all was expectin'. [shoots the plantation hands as they draw their guns] Billy Crash! Now where were we? Oh, that's right. Last time I seen you, you had your hands on my— [shoots Crash in the groin]

Billy Crash:
D-Jango, you black son of a b*tch!

Django:
The D is silent, hillbilly. [shoots Crash in the head]

Lara Lee:
Oh no!

Django:
Now, all you black folks, I suggest you get away from all these white folks. Not you, Stephen. You right where you belong. Uh, Cora, before you go would you tell Ms. Lara goodbye?

Cora:
Do what now?

Django:
I said, tell Ms. Lara goodbye?

Cora:
Bye, Ms. Lara! [Django shoots Lara, knocking her into the next room]

Django:
Y’all you two run along now. ‘’[Cora and Sheba flee from the mansion]’’

Calvin J. Candie:
Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.

Django:
You want me to play a black slaver? Ain't nothin' lower than the black slaver. A black slaver is lower than the head house n*gger, and buddy, that's pretty f***in' low.

Dr King Schultz:
Do you know what they're going to call you? The "Fastest Gun in the South".