Dog with a Blog

Avery Jennings:
Hey, Stan! Wake up boy!

Stan the Dog:
You know what they say! The early bird gets the worm. Wait why do I want worms? I just got rid of them.

Tyler James:
Hey guys! Walks in with a burrito launcher.

Chloe James:
Shoot her! She wrote the song!

Ellen Jennings:
So Bennett if we get this money...

Bennett James:
I want to buy a boat.

Ellen Jennings:
Boat? But we're not boat people!

Bennett James:
That's because we don't have a boat.

Gorilla Gram:
I'm here to tell you that you have a problem ahat you need to talk to...

Avery Jennings:
I would now like to introduce Stan, my secretary of state.

Stan the Dog:
I thought you said secretary of steak!

Chloe James:
Don't feel bad Stan. Last Christmas I drank a whole carton of eggnog, and threw up on Santa's cookies plate. They were gone the next morning. Santa's gross.

Tyler James:
My point is, what's going on between you and Stan has nothing to do with me. Really. You should talk to him. I'm not trying to teach him how to live, or what's atomic number 5 on the periodic table...

Avery Jennings:
Boron.

Tyler James:
Hey I know we don't see eye to eye on the school thing, but that's no reason for name calling. You're a boron.

Ellen Jennings:
C'mon, we're packing up and we're getting in the car

Avery Jennings:
No, i am NOT getting in the car with you!

Bennett James:
I don't really wanna get in the car with your mother either. What if we tie you to the front of the car like a deer and drive you through a carwash?

Ellen Jennings:
I'm game, ha ha good one Ellen... not the time, not the time

Bennett James:
Good news. I was able to book us a whole series of spa treatments for our weekend. Avocado masks, salmon oil rub, and seaweed wrap.

Ellen Jennings:
Are they massaging us or turning us into sushi?

[Stan keeps chewing through everything Ellen owns]

Ellen Jennings:
This is my third slipper in a month. Why does he only eat *my* slippers?

Avery Jennings:
Mom, I'm sure you're just exaggerating.

Ellen Jennings:
Oh, really? He hasn't touched your father's slippers once, and his feet for some reason smell naturally of ham.

Avery Jennings:
And I'll add that to the list of disturbing things I've learned about my parents.

[on the verge of tears]

Ellen Jennings:
Animals hate me. Peer reviewed studies say I'm heartless and anti-social with no ability to bond with other living things.

Stan the Dog:
Aw, look at that face. Gotta do my dog thing.

[nuzzles her]

Gator:
You must be Tyler. I'm Hawk's sister, Gator. [punches Tyler's shoulder]

Tyler James:
Ow! And I thought he said his sister's name was Leona.

Gator:
[cheerful] Only on my birth certificate. You can *call* me Leona if you want to, but it'll be the last thing you ever say.

Stan:
"NAAH I'm just kidding I'm just a -- regular talking dog"