Don't Give Up the Ship

Ens. Rita J. Benson:
Lieutenant, I know you're the victim of one of the biggest boo-boos in the history of the U.S. Navy.

John Paul Steckler VII:
Yeah, I am.

Ens. Rita J. Benson:
I've looked over your record and it's spotless. You've always had the utmost concern for government property.

John Paul Steckler VII:
W-well I always DID try my best - except maybe just that one time w-when I painted my seabag all red and cut the two holes in the bottom for my feet.

Ens. Rita J. Benson:
Your feet?

John Paul Steckler VII:
Well, it was a Halloween party, y' see. I went as a skinless frankfurter.

Ens. Rita J. Benson:
You can take your shoes off, if you'd like.

John Paul Steckler VII:
Oh, thank you. I won't be as tall, though.

John Paul Steckler VII:
Now hear this! Now hear this! I want a tight ship! I want an efficient ship! 'Cause an efficient ship is a happy ship! And a happy ship is a tight ship! And I want everyone to be efficient, happy and tight!

Japanese Officer:
Sunrise. Time you die.

John Paul Steckler VII:
Before breakfast?

Vice Adm. Philo Tecumseh Bludde:
This man is the shrewdest, cleverest undercover agent we've ever been up against.

Ens. Rita J. Benson:
But, sir, I think he's too dumb to be that smart to play it that stupid.

Vice Adm. Philo Tecumseh Bludde:
Say that again.

Operator:
I'm sorry, madam. Your party's been disconnected.

Prudence Trabert Steckler:
MY party never got started.

Prudence Trabert Steckler:
John, how COULD you!

John Paul Steckler VII:
It wasn't easy!