Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam

Tina:
[Willie is pouring wine,] I hope it's Cold Duck!

Dr. Otto:
[as Auntie Nelda, under his breath] You would.

Doris:
[as Auntie Nelda pours some disgusting looking stew into Doris' bowl] Uh, aren't you having some?

Auntie Nelda:
No dear, I'm on a water diet.

Lance:
Well, I hope you're taking a vitamin supplement.

Auntie Nelda:
I try to take care of myself. My son Hymie, he never took care of himself. He didn't weigh ninety pounds soaked in paving tar.

Dr. Otto:
[as Auntie Nelda,enters the kitchen] Hurry up sockethead,they're waiting to eat!

Slave Willie:
Bouillabaisse cannot be hurried, doctor!

Dr. Otto:
[a moan comes from the refrigerator, he shoots it several times] Now, battery breath, now!

Slave Willie:
It really does need a few more moments for the ingredients to marinate in their essences.

Dr. Otto:
Now all of a sudden I have a Julia Child to deal with.

Slave Willie:
But doctor, [Otto sticks Willie's hand into a blender] no,wait,not liquefy,doctor! [Otto turns blender on, Willie screams]

Dr. Otto:
[as Willie destroys the science projects] Notice if you will, the robots lifelike movements, his ability to understand spoken tongues, and a vocabulary of nearly 700 words such as: "ATTACK ME!", "SEARCH AND DESTROY!", "TORA! TORA! TORA!" [laughs maniacally]

Lance:
[reading from Otto's riddle] "It was he who had an eye,but could not see.It was he who served Bouillabaisse,when he was a she".

Doris:
Bouillabaisse,it originated on the coast of France.

Lance:
I know that.As you know,I'm a gourmet cook.

Doris:
Yeah,it shows.

Lance:
There is not an ounce of fat on my body! I'm on the metric system!

Bank Pres. Rutherford:
Gentlemen, we are facing the biggest disaster in the history of Cincinnati Bank & Trust. Worse gentlemen, than losing the Super Bowl.

Dr. Otto:
[the Riddle] When the money is scrambled to the very last cent,riots and hatred soon will commence.When all the world's commerce will be put in a bind,from the evil that lurks where the sun never shines.It is I,Dr.Otto von Schnick -ick-ick-ick,who has played on you this trick-ick-ick-ick. "But who's Dr.Otto?" you may well ponder,while all your magnetic cash is squandered.It's he who had an eye,and yet couldn't see.It's he who served bouillabaisse,when he was a she.It's he who gambled with brains,and a gun.It's he who had all,and yet had none.And to stop this horrible twisted trick,just exchange the poles of old Saint Nick.And if that doesn't do to save the day,put another quarter in and try another play.

Tina:
My makeup's running,my hair's a mess,and I'm gonna die! Why? Because I didn't listen to my mother,and fell for a foreign accent with a hand growing out of his head!