Dragons: Race to the Edge

Hiccup:
This changes everything.

Tuffnut:
[watching Fishlegs scratch] Dig deeper. See if you can draw blood.

Fishlegs:
I'm clean, serene, and...

Ruffnut:
...and an itchin' machine!

Ruffnut:
Ah, I concur with your diagnosis, Dr. Nut.

Tuffnut:
I concur with your concuration.

Astrid:
Is it me or did Snotlout just fall in love with Fishlegs?

Fishlegs:
[as Thor Bonecrusher] Monstrous nightmare? Sounds like my post-mutton trip to the outhouse.

Stoick:
Give me back my axe?

Fishlegs:
[as Thor Bonecrusher] Don't you mean MY axe?

Hiccup:
[looking for Stoick with Toothless when they hear something] Okay, follow the sound of the angry Viking.

Silent Sven:
Hiccup, thank Thor you're here! You've got to help us. Your father has become unbearable.

Hiccup:
Well, to be fair, Sven, you DID have the weapons out of order.

Silent Sven:
That's because yesterday he told me to arrange 'em by length! The day before, it was by pointiness! And the day before that, it was by name! Did you know he gave each weapon its own nickname?

Silent Sven:
I mean, seriously, who names their mace "Daisy?"

Tuffnut:
I like a pit, but I LOVE a boar pit.

Gobber:
You call that a boar pit? Ha! I've dug my way out of shallow graves deeper than that.

Stoick:
[to Gothi] For Thor's sake, you plow like an old woman!

Stoick:
[releasing Hiccup from a bone-crushing bear hug] I'm sorry. Just happy to see my son.

Hiccup:
Well, that's, uh, great. My... my cracked ribs and I are happy to see you, too.

Hiccup:
What're you doin' all the way out at the academy?

Stoick:
Oh, well, I-I come up here for the peace and quiet. Tired of hearing people complaining. "Stoick, you're bein' too tough." "Stoick, you're being too picky." "Stoick, you're cuttin' off my air supply."

Gobber:
Oh, Greta, how COULD you?

Stoick:
Look at the broken branches on this side of the trail. The beast has doubled back on us.

Hiccup:
Wa-a-ait, you think it knows we're hunting it?

Stoick:
No, I think it's hunting us.

Hiccup:
Oh, THAT'S good! No, I-I prefer it much more the other way around.

Stoick:
[singing] Well, I've got my club and I've got my rope, and I smell like a yak 'cause I don't use soap. I'm a Viking through and through...

Fishlegs:
There's no greater treasure than knowledge!

Dagur:
Hiccup! Did you miss me? 'Cause I sure missed you. Every day for three years I thought about you.

Dagur:
Can't you see my brother and I are having a moment?

Hiccup:
I'm NOT your brother and we are definitely not having a moment.

Dagur:
Oh. Well, *I* was.

Hiccup:
Dagur, whadda you want?

Snotlout:
Dah! He wants the jewels.

Tuffnut:
He's not getting MY family's jewels. No way! And I'll protect them at all costs!

Dagur:
Must we always do the same dance, Hiccup, you and I? Not that you're not a fabulous dancer.

Gobber:
Hold on. I have ways of making her talk. Heh. Well, scribble, anyway.

Snotlout:
Can we please do something? My mouth is starting to freeze shut.

Astrid:
Don't get our hopes up.

Gobber:
Some people just don't appreciate the practice of medicine.

Snotlout:
I hate you. You know that.

Hiccup:
Yes, I am aware of that.

Hiccup:
This... changes... everything.

Dagur:
Ordinarily, this is where I would double-cross you and fill you full of arrows, but the kid is squeamish. He made me promise to let you go, and in return he's gonna take me to a treasure.

Gustav:
Untold treasure awaits.

Dagur:
You know, I'm actually gonna feel bad when I kill this kid.

Hiccup:
Oh, what's the matter, Dagur? No barbs, no comebacks? I thought we had a shorthand. I thought you loved that stuff.

Hiccup:
Dagur, you hand over the Dragon Eye.

Dagur:
I don't think so.

Hiccup:
I'm not asking.

Hiccup:
What the Thor is this?

Gustav:
I can't stay. My mom would kill me. She usually notices I've been gone after about three days.

Hiccup:
Okay, now remember, gang, we're only taking absolute necessities to Dragon's Edge.

Snotlout:
[laughs] Aw, I guess we're leaving you behind, Fishlegs.

Fishlegs:
Come on. You're better than that, Snotlout. Oh, wait. No, you're not.

Stoick:
Which one of the usual suspects was out sinkin' boats on their dragon this morning? I have my suspicions.

Fishlegs:
This dragon is extremely powerful. It has the slashing attack of a Speed Stinger, yet from the depth of the strikes it appears to be as strong as a Typhoomerang.

Ruffnut:
Finders keepers.

Tuffnut:
Losers... I... Well, losers don't get this 'cause it's way too cool for a loser.

Fishlegs:
I have a good feeling about this island.

Snotlout:
That's what you said about the last FIVE islands.

Fishlegs:
Is it my fault I'm an optimist? I'm a yak-bladder-half-full kind of guy.

Astrid:
I don't mean to burst your yak bladder, but has anyone considered what we're gonna do if we actually find this Razorwhip?

Tuffnut:
You can marry it.

Astrid:
And what if Dagur's riding it.

Tuffnut:
Well, then Ruffnut can have him. I admit it will be complicated, but I will one day learn to love him as my own.

Astrid:
Um, Tuffnut...

Tuffnut:
Like a little babe, a child that I carry in my arms, but he's too heavy.

Tuffnut:
All right, sis, you look left and I'll look right.

Ruffnut:
Wait! My left or your left?

Tuffnut:
Uh, we have the same left. We're twins.

Ruffnut:
Right.

Hiccup:
Dad, is Heather my sister?

Heather:
I see nothing has changed.

Hiccup:
Yup. Same story, different year.

Snotlout:
Did you miss me? I think you did. That's why you threw that tree at me, isn't it? Playing hard to get. Me likey.

Hiccup:
Johann, why do we do this?

Trader Johann:
Sorry?

Hiccup:
You know you're gonna tell me, *I* know you're gonna tell me, so why not save us both the trouble and just...

Trader Johann:
I suppose you do have a point.

Dagur:
Well, you know what I always say: When in doubt, take it out.

Dagur:
Well, look who the dragon flew in!

Snotlout:
I don't really trust these guys either, Heather.

Astrid:
You know we can hear you.

Snotlout:
Jealousy is an ugly quality, Astrid, but clearly I understand where it comes from.

Astrid:
[admiring Heather double-axe pike] You really have to show me how you made that.

Heather:
Sure, but I prefer close combat to throwing... so I can stare my enemy in the eye.

Astrid:
Not a bad tactic, but don't discount...

[throws her axe close to but deliberately missing Heather]

Heather:
Hm. The element of surprise. I like that.

Astrid:
[to Heather] Now, you and Snotlout - THAT'S a match made in Valhalla.

[both laugh]

Trader Johann:
Dagur is set to purchase a fleet of new ships from a group of salty undesirables in the Sea of Despair, but be wary. These new ships for his armada are outfitted with powerful anti-dragon winches and catapults. After the deal is done, I won't be able to find him again. Dagur will be back in the wind, adrift like a leaf in a stream.

Trader Johann:
What part of this implies rushing into battle on a flying lizard?

Hiccup:
Look at this! There are maps we have never seen, writing we can't read, dragons we don't recognize. It's incredible. This Dragon Eye - this is proof that there is a whole other world out there, a world that must be explored.

Spitelout:
We've been at peace for three years. Best years on Berk I can remember. I think you know as well as I do that when you go looking for trouble, you usually find it.

Stoick:
[discussing Hiccup's plan in council] Think of the most important thing in the world to each of ya. Ask yourselves honestly how far you would be willing to go to get it. What would you risk? The boy's life has been dragons. His life IS dragons and will continue to be. We couldn't stop him from goin' if we wanted to, so we might as well support him.

Tuffnut:
[about Barf and Belch] Two heads...

Ruffnut:
...one dragon.

Tuffnut:
Two brains...

Ruffnut:
...one body.

Snotlout:
[about Tuffnut and Ruffnut] Two bodies, half a brain.

Hiccup:
Note for the Book of Dragons: Tunderdrums carry a grudge.

Snotlout:
What are you doing, Hiccup?

Hiccup:
Just trust me, Snotlout.

Snotlout:
Says the man who's about to set me on fire?

Hiccup:
Ah, YOU said it only stings a little.

Snotlout:
I was lying. You know I'm a liar!

Tuffnut:
[gazing at their tower] Hey, does something seem off to you?

Ruffnut:
Yeah. This should have fallen down a long time ago.

Tuffnut:
Maybe we actually did something... No, that's impossible.

Ruffnut:
Say it.

Tuffnut:
Something... right?

[Ruffnut gasps]

Tuffnut:
Ugh! I have a weird feeling inside. Is that... accomplishment?

Ruffnut:
Whoa! I think I feel it, too. Quick, let's go rub it in Hiccup's face before the feeling subsides.

Tuffnut:
Hiccup, drop everything you're doing and bring your face.

Ruffnut:
Prepare to be rubbed.

Hiccup:
Okay, so what should my eyes be feasting on, exactly.

Hiccup:
Hey, uh, Fishlegs, when was the last time you saw a boulder run uphill?

Fishlegs:
Um, never.

Hiccup:
Yeah, me, neither.

Tuffnut:
Hey, don't you put that rock in your mouth. You have no idea where it's been, mister.

Snotlout:
Oh, fine, but my death is on your horns, Hookfang!

[last lines]

Fishlegs:
Oh, really, Snotlout? Tell me more. Oh, yeah, that's right. I just remembered I don't care!

[walks off]

[Hiccup laughs]

Snotlout:
I taught him too well.

Tuffnut:
Wait, is that a trick question? Because it's pretty tricky.

Tuffnut:
Long-lost Great Uncle Magmar! Oh, my Thor! Wasn't he the one who could pass an entire cod through one nostril?

Ruffnut:
And debone it at the same time? It's really a lost art.

Tuffnut:
People just don't appreciate the craftsmanship.

Snotlout:
Oh, come on! That stone is a fake. It's so obvious that these two made it up.

Fishlegs:
I don't think so. For one thing, everything is spelled correctly.

Snotlout:
Okay, you may have a point.

Tuffnut:
Don't make us get ugly.

Snotlout:
That ship sailed a long time ago.

Stoick:
Welcome to my world, only now it's your world.

[the twins rename the island "Thorstonton" and outlaw the letter S]

Astrid:
Do you two realize that there is an S in the name of your island?

Tuffnut:
Ilence, ubject! How dare you ay such thing.

Tuffnut:
Table boy, clean that up.

Hiccup:
And the weirdness continues.

Tuffnut:
The chicken is not amused.

Astrid:
That smoke's getting close, and where there's smoke...

Fishlegs:
...there's fireworms.

Snotlout:
[as Hiccup prepares to demonstrate his newly created flight suit] When this doesn't work - and it clearly will not - can I have Toothless?

Hiccup:
Oh, for Thor's sake.

Hiccup:
A Speed Stinger without its pack is extremely vulnerable.

Fishlegs:
He must've gotten separated from the others, and then they had to go to shelter before the sun came out.

Snotlout:
This plan is insane. You know that, right? If I'm saying it's insane, it's actually insane.

Tuffnut:
[to Ruffnut] Actually, it IS insane - and for once it wasn't OUR insane plan.

Ruffnut:
I'm seein' a pattern here.

Tuffnut:
First that lunatic flight suit, now this. Could it be...?

Ruffnut:
Is Hiccup coming over to OUR side?

Tuffnut:
Oh, Loki, PLEASE let it be so! We will welcome him with open arms, teach him the ways of the truly DISTURBED!

Hiccup:
Guys, please, let's just do this.

Snotlout:
Well, well, well, lookie here. Our little friend can stand on his own two claws again. Only a matter of time before it's trying to sting all of us into oblivion.

Hiccup:
Okay, everyone. No sudden moves.

Ruffnut:
[paralyzed by the young Speed Stinger] Uh-oh. Who's got jokes? Frozen from the waist down. Come on.

Tuffnut:
You better control that butt before it gets kicked.

Hiccup:
Dragon-napping, Snotlout? I mean, this is a new low, even for you.

Hiccup:
Guys, this was supposed to be a drill. Do you have to turn it into a game?

Astrid:
Don't we always.

Hiccup:
Fair point.

Ruffnut:
I LOVE a ticking sundial, don't you?

Tuffnut:
Indeed.

Snotlout:
[about Hookfang] He's acting weird.

Fishlegs:
How's that?

Snotlout:
Well, he didn't listen to me during the race, he ran away, he just spit fish in my face and then threw me against a wall.

Astrid:
And this is weird how?

Hiccup:
You have to admit, Snotlout, that does kind of sum up your relationship with Hookfang.

Hiccup:
That's not just another Monstrous Nightmare. That's a FEMALE Monstrous Nightmare.

Snotlout:
A female Monstrous Nightmare? Now it all makes sense. My dragon has a way with the ladies! Must have picked up a few pointers from his master.

Astrid:
I doubt it. She's not dry-heaving.

Snotlout:
I have had ENOUGH of you, Hookfang! It's time to choose - her or me!

Tuffnut:
Classic romantic comedy paradigm: Boy gets dragon, boy loses dragon, dragon falls asleep, boy eats, boy falls asleep, dragon eats.

Ruffnut:
Oh! Gets me every time.

Snotlout:
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna go lay down for a few... weeks.

Astrid:
How can you be a Dragon Rider and not ride a dragon?

Snotlout:
You were always the smart one, Astrid.

Hiccup:
W-wait a minute. You're...

Snotlout:
Quitting. That's right. I shall be your Dragon Rider no more.

Fishlegs:
It looks like two male dragons fighting over a female.

Ruffnut:
Yeah, I've heard male Vikings do it too, but I've personally never seen it.

Astrid:
But, Hiccup, look at that thing. It's...

Hiccup:
I know. Gigantic, scary, angry...

Tuffnut:
Bloodthirty!

Hiccup:
[witheringly] Thanks, Tuff.

Tuffnut:
Sorry. Writer's embellishment.

Astrid:
He's crazy.

Hiccup:
He's Snotlout.

Astrid:
True.

Snotlout:
Now THAT'S what I call domination!

Tuffnut:
I'm just saying, in the immortal words of the mighty Thor, "When something looks too perfect, it probably sucks."

Hiccup:
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Thor never said anything remotely like that.

Tuffnut:
Oh, really? How do you know? Do you know Thor? Have you talked to him recently?

Hiccup:
No, but...

Tuffnut:
Well, because *I* have. Mm-hm. And I don't recall him mentioning YOU.

Tuffnut:
Look, I just have a feeling about his place, and I think we all know what happens when I get a feeling.

Astrid:
We ignore it?

Snotlout:
Ugh! I don't know about you, but I like whiney Berk Hiccup way better than Princess Outpost Hiccup.

[Tuffnut, who tried frightening everyone earlier with stories of make-believe monsters, runs into camp panicked over the sight of a colossal dragon]

Astrid:
Is anyone falling for this?

Ruffnut:
I don't know. I haven't seen him this freaked out since he found a leech on his...

Astrid:
Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.

Tuffnut:
Okay, when this giant beast rips us limb from limb, I will expect a full apology from each and every one of you, and a handshake.

Ruffnut:
Aw, you're scarin' me, bro, okay? And we shared a womb.

Tuffnut:
You willing to put your mutton where your mouth is?

Ruffnut:
[thinking they've died] 'Kay, if this is Valhalla...

Ruffnut, Tuffnut:
[simultaneously to each other] What're YOU doing here?

kissing astrid

Tuffnut:
The chicken is not amused.