Dream Wife

Effie:
Clem...

Clemson Reade:
[softly] What?

Effie:
I am afraid that we'll have to postpone the wedding till after the oil deal is signed.

Clemson Reade:
[alarmed] What?

Effie:
I don't see any other way. Truly I don't. There are so many things to get done. Meetings, conferences, reports, and all of them so urgent.

Clemson Reade:
So is our wedding.

Effie:
But I mean *really* urgent.

Effie:
[Pointing at a globe] Here is Bukistan.

Clemson Reade:
[mumbling] Oh, I know, I have been there.

Effie:
Here is the United States.

Clemson Reade:
[mumbling] Yes, yes, I have been there too.

Effie:
We have just *one* thing in common. Oil! Every plan we make for peace or war depends on that oil.

Clemson Reade:
'That so?

Effie:
I don't have to tell you what happened in Iran. Half the free world had to learn how to pronounce the name Mosadegh.

Clemson Reade:
I still can't.

Effie:
The same thing is happening again, only this time there will a lot of new names to learn. And the only way to get that oil is to get those names on the dotted line.

Clemson Reade:
We haven't been able to make a definite plan since we met.

Effie:
Well, we went to Vermont for two weeks.

Clemson Reade:
Yes. Yes, that's right. To her grandfather's farm. For two wonderful relaxing weeks in glorious Vermont.

Walter McBride:
Tim'll be there in September.

Clemson Reade:
We spent *one* day there. She had to leave to take care of the crisis in Sahara; some of the sand was missing.

Effie:
Well, you stayed on.

Clemson Reade:
With grandfather. It wasn't the same thing.

Clemson Reade:
Oh, I didn't mean that. What you are doing *is* important.

Effie:
But not as important as cooking your breakfast. You don't need me for that. You can buy it for a dollar an hour. We've been emancipated, Mr. Reade. Have you heard of Susan B. Anthony?

Clemson Reade:
Can she cook?

Mr. Brown:
Mr Reade...

Clemson Reade:
Oh, good evening.

Clemson Reade:
I've been waiting to talk with you.

Mr. Brown:
Really? Anything wrong?

Mr. Brown:
Yes. It's about that, er, bearded gentleman.

Clemson Reade:
You mean our friendly skyscraper?

Mr. Brown:
He's been trying to buy our chambermaids!

Clemson Reade:
He has?

Mr. Brown:
Yes. He's been offering them positions in the Khan's harem.

Clemson Reade:
I hope he hasn't offended them.

Mr. Brown:
Offended them? Six of the girls have already accepted.

Effie:
[recites love poem to Clem] The night is filled with muted sounds / The air is still, but in the hush / The whispers of a thousand lovers. // You and I together here, to dream a thousand wonders / The night is still, we kiss, / And in my heart a thousand thunders.

Clemson Reade:
[as they walk toward the altar for their wedding] What can you expect from a woman? You're weak, helpless, and nothing but trouble. And that goes for all of you. Harriet Beecher Stowe. She wrote about slaves, didn't she? Well, it sure takes one to know one.

Tarji:
She great woman. She write Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Clemson Reade:
Susan B. Anthony...

Tarji:
Susan B. Anthony fight for woman's vote. And that not all. Carry Country...

Clemson Reade:
Carry Nation!

Tarji:
Carry Nation.

Clemson Reade:
Gentlemen, I must say, I'm delighted to meet you... mustn't I?