Driving Miss Daisy

Daisy Werthan:
Hoke?

Hoke Colburn:
Yes'm.

Daisy Werthan:
You're my best friend.

Hoke Colburn:
No, go on Miss Daisy.

Daisy Werthan:
No, really, you are...

Daisy Werthan:
You are.

Hoke Colburn:
Yes'm.

Idella:
I wouldn't be in your shoes if the Sweet Lord Jesus come down and asked me himself.

Daisy Werthan:
Did you have the air-conditioning checked? I told you to have the air-conditioning checked.

Hoke Colburn:
I had the air-conditioning checked. I don't know what for. You never allow me to turn it on.

Daisy Werthan:
Hush up!

Daisy Werthan:
You should have let me keep my old LaSalle. It never would've behaved this way and you know it.

Boolie Werthan:
Mama, cars don't behave. They are behaved upon. Fact is, you demolished that Chrysler all by yourself.

Daisy Werthan:
Say what you want, I know the truth.

Boolie Werthan:
The truth is, you just cost the insurance company $2,700. You're a terrible risk. Nobody's gonna want to issue you a policy after this.

Daisy Werthan:
You're just saying that to be hateful!

Boolie Werthan:
OK. I am. I'm makin' it all up. Look out there in the driveway! Every insurance company in America is out there, waving their fountain pen, trying to get you to sign up!

Boolie Werthan:
You're a doodle, Mama.

Daisy Werthan:
What are you doing?

Hoke Colburn:
I'm tryin' to drive you to the store!

Daisy Werthan:
You know your letters don't you?

Hoke Colburn:
Oh yeah, yeah I know my ABC's pretty good, just can't read.

Daisy Werthan:
Stop saying that you're making me mad! If you know your letters you can read. You just don't know you can read.

Hoke Colburn:
Maam?

Daisy Werthan:
I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone.

Boolie Werthan:
Don't worry Katie Bell, it's not QUITE the end of the world.

Miss Daisy:
"Don't spill those peas, Idella"

Idella:
"Do I ever?"

[Hoke and Idella are walking to Daisy's house and notice Boolie's car in the driveway]

Hoke Colburn:
Now what do you suppose he's doin' here this early in the morning?

Idella:
Dunno... can't be good, I promise you that!

[Hoke walks in, Boolie and Daisy are there to confront him about a missing can of salmon]

Hoke Colburn:
Morning, Miss Daisy. I think it's gettin' ready to clear up out there! Oh, 'scuse me, Mr. Werthan!

Boolie Werthan:
Hoke, I think we're gonna have to have a little talk.

Hoke Colburn:
All right, sir. Just let me get outta my coat. [pauses, then turns to Daisy] Oh, Miss Daisy, yesterday, while you were out visitin', I went and ate a can of your salmon. Now, I know you said eat the left-over pork chops, but they was kinda stiff! So, I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly and got you another can. You want me just to go on and put it in the cupboard?

Daisy Werthan:
[embarrassed] Yes, that'll be fine... thank you, Hoke. Well, I guess I'd better get dressed now!

Boolie Werthan:
How're you, Idella.

Idella:
Livin'.

Boolie Werthan:
Where's that vacuum cleaner I brought over here?

Idella:
In the closet.

Boolie Werthan:
[turning to Hoke] She won't touch it.

Idella:
I would if it didn't give me a shock every time I come near it!

Boolie Werthan:
It works for me!

Idella:
Fine... you clean and I'll go down and run your office!

Idella:
I'm goin' Miss Daisy.

Daisy Werthan:
[from upstairs] Alright, Idella, see you tomorrow.

Hoke Colburn:
I'm goin' too, Miss Daisy.

Daisy Werthan:
Good.

[Hoke and Boolie are walking thru Daisy's now vacant house discussing how Hoke and Daisy have been since Daisy had to be put in the nursing home]

Boolie Werthan:
I suppose you don't get out to see her very much.

Hoke Colburn:
No, sir, I don't... it's hard not drivin' Miss Werthan anymore. Every now and then I takes a taxi cab, but don't too many taxis go out yonder.

Booile Werthan:
I'm sure she appreciates it.

Hoke Colburn:
Yes, sir. [pauses] Some days, she better than others... but then, who ain't?

[Hoke and Boolie both laugh]

[Hoke and Boolie are at the nursing home visiting Daisy. Daisy appears unwilling to speak much]

Boolie Werthan:
Hoke, I thought about you the other day on the road. I saw an Avondale Milk truck.

Hoke Colburn:
Is that right?

Boolie Werthan:
Monster of a thing, looked to have about sixteen wheels.

Hoke Colburn:
You don't say!

Boolie Werthan:
I was wondering how you'd like drivin' that thing around!

Daisy Werthan:
[to Boolie] Hoke came to see me, not you!

Hoke Colburn:
Look like one o' her good days!

Daisy Werthan:
Boolie, go charm the nurses!

Boolie Werthan:
[smiling] She wants you all to herself. [to Daisy] You're a doodle, Mama.

[Hoke is trailing Daisy in the car as she walks to the supermarket]

Daisy Werthan:
What are you doing?

Hoke Colburn:
I'm tryin' to drive you to the store!

Daisy Werthan:
[on the phone, trying to get a ride to her hair appointment] Well, I need you now, I have to be at the beauty parlor in half an hour... no, I most certainly did not know you have to call a minimum of two hours ahead! I don't know why you call yourselves a taxicab company if you can't provide taxicabs!

Idella:
[in the other room, polishing a table] Why don't you call your son down at the mill? He'll send someone to carry you.

Daisy Werthan:
That won't be necessary... I'll just cancel the appointment and fix my own hair!

Idella:
Sometimes I think you ain't got the sense God gave a lemon!

Hoke Colburn:
Hey, there, Oscar, Junior...how you boys doin' this morning?

Oscar:
How the old lady treatin' you, Hoke?

Hoke Colburn:
Lord, I tell you one thing...she sho' know how to throw a fit!

[Hoke, Oscar, and Junior break out in laughter]

Daisy Werthan:
What's so funny?

Hoke Colburn:
Nothin', Miss Daisy. We jus' carryin' on.

Boolie Werthan:
What I need is for somebody to drive my mother around.

Hoke Colburn:
Well, if you don' mind my askin', sir—how come she's not hirin' for herself?

Boolie Werthan:
See, it's kind of a delicate situation.

Hoke Colburn:
Oh, yessir, yessir...done gone around the bend a little bit. Well, now, that'll happen as they get old...

Boolie Werthan:
Oh, no, she's all there. Too-much-there is the problem! [Hoke laughs]

Hoke Colburn:
(calling Boolie after convincing Daisy to be driven for the first time) Hello, Mr. Werthan? Yeah, it's me...guess where I'm at? I just finished drivin' your mama to da store...yeah, she flap around some, but she alright, she in da store...oh, Lord, she just looked out the window and seen me on the phone...prob'ly gonna throw a fit right there at the checkout...yeah, you sho' right about that...only took me six days, same time it took the Lord to make the world!...alright, 'bye now!

Boolie Werthan:
[Calling after Hoke as he drives away with Miss Daisy] Goodbye! Good luck! [To himself] Good God.