Duck Dodgers

Porky Pig:
Uh, c-can I put my clothes back on? My n-n-nipples are getting cold.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Sorta like the pawns in checkers.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
[Duck Dodgers' version of the Green Lantern Oath] In blackest day or brightest night... Watermelon, cantaloupe, yadda yadda... Erm... superstitious and cowardly lot... With liberty and justice for all!

Porky Pig:
That's an oxymoron sir.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
What did you call me?

Porky Pig:
An oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory terms are combined... like 'free trade' or 'compassionate conservatism'.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
That attitude of yours is killing us in the fly-over states.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
It sure was nice of that police officer to loan you his car.

Porky Pig:
What police officer?

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
You know. The one you asked to borrow this car.

Porky Pig:
I didn't ask anybody to borrow this car. I thought you did.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Yes, it sure was nice of him.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Nobody? Listen here Brunswick, only family members are allowed to call me 'nobody'.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
[upon discovering Marvin's archenemy] Oh so this is the guy... Have you taken a close look at him lately? He's a jello head with a turkey neck, cauliflower ears, prune lips, and hot dog breath. Frankly, he sounds more like the HomeTown Buffet than an evil archenemy.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Wow! That's a Pluto Nash-sized bomb!

Count Muerte:
How much would you say the cadet weighs? Have you measured his body fat ratio? What is his cholesterol count?

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Look, Bub. I didn't come clear across the galaxy to talk about how *fat* my pig is.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
If you aren't sure what city you're in, just yell "Thank you, Detroit!" There's a 47% chance you'll be right.

Dave Mustaine:
I wasn't genetically engineered in a lab or raised by wolverines.

Dr. I.Q. Hi:
We believe the Invictus won't stop until Earth is destroyed.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
And that's bad, right?

Marvin the Martian:
Alas, yet another delusional fan trying to emulate the famous trench scene. How many lives must that accursed film cost?

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Look, there's just gotta be a carefree zero maintenance pet. An energy mutator? Wow! Hey, they don't eat, sleep, shed, cry or poop!

Porky Pig:
I have to admit it is pretty cute.

Commander X-2:
Why look, something to bury you in.

Commander X-2:
Take my keys and wait in the car. And roll the windows *up* .

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
For a minute I thought this was real, but it must be a dream because if it wasn't this would really hurt. And I don't feel a thing. As a matter of fact, my whole face seems to be numb.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Why, I'm your new Grand Brassiere! You know, Major Domo, Con-sig-lee-airy.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Why, she's one Bar-B-Cutie.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Hey, hamhock! We got a surprise for you!

Princess Incense:
I will never marry you, you deviled ham!

Princess Incense:
Oh no! That monster will turn my prince into an extra-crispy pork rind!

Porky Pig:
Halt in the name of Imperial Traffic Court 839!

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
You might want to try something with a little more bite to it.

Long John Silver the 23rd:
I be Long John Silver the 23rd.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Long John Silver? What is that, some kind of copyright infringement?

Long John Silver the 23rd:
Yar, it be in the public domain; I had me lawyers check it.

Long John Silver the 23rd:
I'm Captain Long John Silver the 23rd. I'm a pirate, and I takes what I pleases.

Woman #2:
Wow, this is better that the show at Treasure Island.

The Martian Commander:
You couldn't lift it anyway. It's made from the dense material found inside a collapsed star.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
You mean like what's inside Liza Minnelli?

Happy Cat:
HA HA HA! Happy Cat say nap-time is over! Wake up! You sleep too much!

[Dodgers presses the snooze button]

Happy Cat:
HA HA HA! My snooze button is broken!

Duck Dodgers:
That's not all that's broken if you don't shut up!

Happy Cat:
HA HA HA! Very funny, lazy duck! But you can never defeat me! NEVER!

[Slicing robots back and forth]

Duck Dodgers:
Robot... robot... ROBOT!

Cyber Pirate of the Future:
Stop! Not a robot! Not a robot!

Duck Dodgers:
[Dodgers stops] You're lucky I didn't cut you to ribbons

Cyber Pirate of the Future:
Not with a Y7 rating, you won't.

Ah-Choo:
Stop right there, Samurai.

Duck Dodgers:
Thanks bud. I haven't walked this much in two seasons put together. Sheesh, I think I'm getting a charley horse here.

Ah-Choo:
[Turning to face Dodgers] Ha Ha Ha!

Duck Dodgers:
Hey, you're just my stupid alarm clock guy!

Ah-Choo:
I am no simple piece of talking plastic! I am a heap, big, powerful wizard!

Duck Dodgers:
Then I demand you use your paltry powers to send me home! [Dodgers tears off his kimono, his hair splitting out] Behold my messy hair of determination!

[Dodgers charges at Ah-Choo]

Ah-Choo:
Wait! What are you doing? Stop!

Duck Dodgers:
[Dodgers stops, his sandals breaking apart] Cheap, counterfeit Manolo Blahniks.

Ah-Choo:
First, Samurai Quack, we must have our customary battle preparation montage!

Duck Dodgers:
Why?

Ah-Choo:
Well... its many interesting compositions will build dramatic tension.

Duck Dodgers:
Then let's get to it, Kurosawa.

Duck Dodgers:
What the heck is that?

Ah-Choo:
I think it's a monkey wearing lederhosen.

Duck Dodgers:
Is he building dramatic tension too?

Ah-Choo:
No. I think the editor is playing a dumb joke! Try to ignore him.

Duck Dodgers:
Eww... now he's eating an apple with his foot. Ugh. Oh, I don't think I can ignore something like that.

Ah-Choo:
Then fight!

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
You? You're more delusional than you think I am!

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
[on becoming a Green Lantern] This is opening new doors to feelings I never knew I had! Finally! A chance to champion the merits of goodness and honor! A way to prove my... WHOA! Check out the serious babeage!

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
[trying to recite the oath of the Green Lantern Corps] Yeah, um, uh... In Blackest Day or Brightest Night... uh, watermelon, cantalope, yada yada... a superstitious and cowardly lot... with liberty and justice for all!

Hal Jordan:
[WEARING Dodger's Costume] We must go to the same cleaners. Can, uh, can I have my ring back?

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
[chuckling] Looking good, hero boy! Heads up!

Hal Jordan:
Thank you, little black duck.

[transforms to Green Lantern]

Hal Jordan:
Oh, yeah! That's way better!

Kilowog:
I'm the one who put out a distress to every Green Lantern in the universe.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
You know, I really like to help. But I tee off with Spider-Man at 6 a.m. You don't want to keep a big star waiting.

Ganthet:
This creature is not evil. Stupid, perhaps *very* stupid. But *not* evil.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
Gee. Thanks Papa Smurf.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers:
[to a hysterical Cadet] Find your center, Honey-baked.