DuckTales

Scrooge McDuck:
Forget the study! You can never tell a thing about a man by his study, I always say.

Launchpad McQuack:
Have some of this hot soup, Mr. McDee, and in no time you'll be fat as a fiddle.

Judge:
Order! Order!

Launchpad McQuack:
I'll have a burger and fries!

Scrooge McDuck:
I'll get my fortune back, before Fritter Away lives up to his name.

Scrooge McDuck:
I'm afraid my pockets are as empty as your tummies.

Fritter:
What is the point of being rich, if you can't buy new?

Webby:
Uncle Scrooge, do you have a great masher I can borrow?

Scrooge McDuck:
If I do, darling, its all yours.

Scrooge McDuck:
Banana Island is probably full of pearls!

Duckworth:
Or bananas.

Scrooge McDuck:
Ships are for shipping, Mr. Woddell, so ship up or shape out!

Webby:
[impersonating Scrooge] "So shape up, or ship out!"

Scrooge McDuck:
Urrr, that wasn't very nice of me to talk to Mr Woddell that way, I'll phone him back and apologise.

Launchpad McQuack:
How am I going to face Mr. McD?

Scrooge McDuck:
In 500 pieces, if you don't get us out of here!

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, you're the worlds most best pilot, why don't you just fly this spaceship back to earth?

Launchpad McQuack:
My, being the worlds best pilot is hard!

Launchpad McQuack:
C'mon, even E.T got to phone home.

Launchpad McQuack:
NASA's gonna send the monkey into space instead of me! [sigh]

Scrooge McDuck:
You can perform an action replay of your crash later, Launchpad!

[series theme song]

Chorus:
Life is like a hurricane, here in Duckburg / Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck-blur! / Might solve a mystery, or rewrite history! / DuckTales! Woo-oo! / Everyday they're out there making DuckTales! Woo-oo! / Tales of derring-do bad and good luck tales! Woo-oo! / D-d-d-danger lurks behind you / there's a stranger out to find you! What to do, just grab on to some... DuckTales! Woo-oo! / Everyday they're out there making DuckTales! Woo-oo! / Tales of derring-do bad and good luck tales! Woo-oo! / Not pony tales or cotton tales / no, DuckTales! Woo-oo!

Scrooge McDuck:
Duckworth, go off and make big butts! I mean big bucks!

Scrooge McDuck:
Since I'm the richest duck in the world, I am going to celebrate by taking everyone out the world's biggest hamburger stand!

Webby:
Can we order fries?

Scrooge McDuck:
You can even order hamburgers!

Scrooge McDuck:
How do you want it? With or without mustard?

Scrooge McDuck:
You'd make for a great sailor, Glomgold... on a submarine.

Scrooge McDuck:
Troubles! Thieves! Politicians!

[last lines]

[Duckworth prepares hot chocolate and marshmallows for everyone]

Scrooge McDuck:
Why are there no marshmallows in MY hot chocolate, Duckworth?

Duckworth:
It's inefficient, sir.

Scrooge McDuck:
Efficiency has its place. But not in my hot chocolate!

Duckworth:
Oh, very good, sir! [drops marshmallows in his hot chocolate]

Scrooge McDuck:
No battery-operated tin can dictator is going to stop me! [gets shocked]

Gyro Gearloose:
Nothing can stop him!

Scrooge McDuck:
[under a pile of gold bags] There is one disadvantage to gold: it's very, very heavy!

Scrooge McDuck:
Armstrong, what are you doing?

Armstrong:
[in the money bin] Counting money. Counting MY money.

[Armstrong clears a rockslide]

Scrooge McDuck:
That would have taken YOU the rest of your life!

Launchpad McQuack:
Maybe longer.

Scrooge McDuck:
A sea monster ate my ice cream!

Launchpad McQuack:
If we get some spoons, we can dig ourselves out of here!

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, I'm amazed you got through your childhood!

Launchpad McQuack:
[about a T-rex] He made Mount Everest look like a speed bump!

[last lines]

Launchpad McQuack:
It's good you picked a great pilot to rely on, Mr McD! [the nephews cringe]

Scrooge McDuck:
I also picked a plane with an automatic pilot...

Launchpad McQuack:
[being chased by an amorous Yeti] NO WAY! [he can be heard from the very outside of the caves, where Scrooge and the nephews are]

Huey Duck:
What was that?

Scrooge McDuck:
I don't know...

[last lines]

[the Yeti drops Launchpad and chases Standforth]

Scrooge McDuck:
[chuckles] Looks like she dumped you, Launchpad!

Launchpad McQuack:
Yeah, in more ways than one.

[Standforth snowmobiles down a mountain with the Crown]

Huey Duck:
Where are you going, Unca Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
Standforth's taking the long way down. I'm taking the shortcut! [drops from a cliff]

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, where are the parachutes?

Launchpad McQuack:
In the closet... back at the airport!

[Webby comes across the frozen nephews]

Huey Duck:
We're all covered in ice, and she's eating an ice lolly?

[after Webigail reveals the booby trap that would have buried Scrooge alive]

Scrooge McDuck:
I... Webigail, I don't know what to say.

Launchpad McQuack:
I know what you're trying to say, Mr. McDee. She was right, you were wrong. She was wise, you were a fool. [ticking off on his fingers] You were greedy, selfish, rude, a great big mean...

Scrooge McDuck:
We get the idea, Launchpad!

Bigtime Beagle:
[after Baggy and Burger Beagle have caught Mrs. Crackshell in a sack] Good work boys, I've been wanting to throw a bag over that old bag all day.

Scrooge McDuck:
I don't owe you money, do I?

Louie Duck:
Of course not.

Scrooge McDuck:
Wha - what happened to those bill collectors?

Huey Duck:
What bill collectors?

Scrooge McDuck:
Boys, something strange *is* going on here.

Magica De Spell:
[cackling] All you'll be finding out your worst fears! And they're going to get worse, and *worse*, and WORSE! [cackles again]

Magica De Spell:
Oh, I am having such good time. All you fears are coming true, since my fear-cloud rained on you! There is nothing you can do, so run and hide when I say "*Boo*!"

Duckworth:
If I didn't know better, I'd say the limo was growling at me. [it transforms into a monster, growling and snarling louder] But then... [turns and sees it] WHAT DO I KNOW!

Scrooge McDuck:
Why're you standing in the closet?

Duckworth:
[clears his throat; whispers] Because there's no limo-monster in here, sir.

Scrooge McDuck:
[walking off after shutting him in again] Well, I guess he's got a point. [does a double-take]

Doofus Drake:
I was afraid you were a big banana!

Huey Duck:
Or Commander Gander, terror of the universe!

Duckworth:
[sticks his head out of the closet] Or the limo-monster.

Scrooge McDuck:
[examining himself] Not last time I checked... Nope. I'm just a plain old filthy-rich duck who wants to know... WHAT'S GOIN' ON AROUND HERE?

Doofus Drake:
It was mean and yellow, and almost too big to eat!

Scrooge McDuck:
The mind can play funny tricks on ya... Especially a mind like yours.

Scrooge McDuck:
You're welcome to eat anything in the kitchen that doesn't eat you first. [laughs]

Louie Duck:
We'll look upstairs.

Doofus Drake:
I'll take the kitchen.

Duckworth:
[extending his hands out of the closet to offer Scrooge's hat and cabe] I'll search the closets, sir.

Doofus Drake:
Oh, please! I'll do anything! Anything!

Bully Beagle:
Gimme your lunch money.

Doofus Drake:
No way!

Louie Duck:
Whose idea was it not to do our homework?

Huey Duck, Dewey Duck:
Yours!

Louie Duck:
Whose idea was it to LISTEN to my idea?

Scrooge McDuck:
Come out, ya blasted bill-collectors! Nothing scares Scrooge McDuck! [an alarm goes off; he screams]

Duckworth:
Oh. My apologies, sir. But I wouldn't go near the limo if you paid me.

Scrooge McDuck:
I *do* pay ya.

Duckworth:
[muttering] Oh, is that what you call it? [clears his throat] Tell you what, sir - I'll pay *you* a month's salary to drive yourself.

Scrooge McDuck:
A month's salary?

Duckworth:
Yes, sir.

Scrooge McDuck:
Yours or mine?

Duckworth:
Mine, sir.

Scrooge McDuck:
Keep it. [shuts him in again]

Huey Duck:
That raincloud. It's following us.

Scrooge McDuck:
Stranger things have happened. Most of them earlier today.

Scrooge McDuck:
You'll never take my boys away from me! Never! *Never*! NEVER!

Scrooge McDuck:
Don't worry, boys. I'll never let those bill-collectors collect *you*.

Bully Beagle:
That's it, Doofus. Hide behind your friends - if they're big enough.

Louie Duck:
This is frisbee-flingin' weather if I ever saw it!

Huey Duck:
Well, according to Mrs. Quackenbush, it's homework weather.

Dewey Duck:
And we gotta have a report on gravity ready to drop on her by tomorrow morning.

Louie Duck:
Well, what better way to study gravity, than by seeing how long our frisbees can stay up, in the air!

Duckworth:
Oh. It never fails to rain right after one buffs one's limousine.

Huey Duck:
[Flash Mallard is zapped by the villain from his video game and vanishes] Poor Flash went flash!

Huey Duck:
I think that means he lost!

Commander Gander:
Correction. You all lost!

Giant banana:
[outside the door Doofus ran through] I'm gonna turn *you* into a banana split!

Doofus Drake:
[sticks his head out] With what kind of ice cream?

Commander Gander:
I'll be hiding in Mr. McDuck's closet if anyone is looking for me. Unless of course... the limo is looking for me!

Scrooge McDuck:
I'm sorry I didna believe you about Commander Gander. Or the big banana.

Duckworth:
[sticks his head out of the closet] What about the limo-monster, sir?

Scrooge McDuck:
Don't push it, Duckworth.

Duckworth:
Very good, sir. [shuts himself in again]

Scrooge McDuck:
[only able to see him writhing on the floor while he imagines he's struggling to get free] What are you doing?

Doofus Drake:
Bully Beagle - is making a fool of me.

Scrooge McDuck:
And doing a good job of it too.

[helps him up then drags him down the hall]

Doofus Drake:
Oh, I hate it when he picks on me!

Scrooge McDuck:
So do I.

Scrooge McDuck:
We - We - We-We canna go on this way.

Doofus Drake:
Yeah! We've gotta have somethin' to eat!

Dewey Duck:
It's almost as if someone knows what our worst fears are, and is usin' 'em against us.

Huey Duck:
But - who would know that much about us?

Dewey Duck, Huey Duck, Louie Duck:
[a noise like the door banging open makes them turn to it] Uncle Scrooge!

Scrooge McDuck:
Figured it out, did ya? Well, *my* worst fears came true when I got you three little television-leaver-oners. I never wanted you here. But that no-good Donald dumped ya on me. [tosses the photo of him across the room; the nephews gasp and stare] I've been doing all this, to scare you out of my life!

Louie Duck:
B-But how could you *do* all those things?

Scrooge McDuck:
I'm rich. I can do *anything*! And I'll be even richer when you're *out* of here!

Louie Duck:
Uncle Scrooge!

Dewey Duck:
Uncle...

Scrooge McDuck:
[talking over him then Louie] Don't call me that! I don't want to be your uncle anymore!

Scrooge McDuck:
[on the phone with a doubting weather service rep] I am *not* all washed up! There's a storm-cloud raining on my house right this minute!

Scrooge McDuck:
Ahh, I knew it. I *knew* it. I was never cut out to raise three boys. I've failed.

[covers his face and sobs]

Huey Duck, Dewey Duck, Louie Duck:
[come out shouldering sacks on poles] Uncle Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
Lads?

Louie Duck:
We're leavin, Uncle Scrooge. Jus tlike you wanted.

Scrooge McDuck:
Leavin'?

Huey Duck:
Yeah. You still wanna get rid of us, don't'cha?

Scrooge McDuck:
Get rid of ya? Why, of *course* not. You're the apples o'my eye. I - I-I thought you wanted to get rid of *me*. You said I was an old fuddy-duddy...

[looks away]

Dewey Duck:
We'd *never* say that, Uncle Scrooge.

[they run to each other and hug]

Scrooge McDuck:
Why - Why, of *course* you wouldn't.

Huey Duck:
[the fear-cloud takes on the form of a threatening creature] We're gonna grow up to be some kind o'troubled teenagers, Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge McDuck:
I won't let that happen.

Scrooge McDuck:
We've been running from our fears long enough, lads. It's time to face them. [swallows]

Huey Duck, Dewey Duck, Louie Duck:
[flee to his back] We're behind ya, Uncle Scrooge.

Huey Duck:
[peering around his shoulder] *Way* behind.

Scrooge McDuck:
And as for you, ya nasty little kiltnappers - my boys *love* me, so *you're* not my boys.

Magica De Spell:
My - my magic spells! They are turning against *me*! *My* worst fear is coming true...! [flees pursued by the fear-cloud which keeps zapping her with lightning causing her to yell]

Scrooge McDuck:
You deserved to get it in the end, ya old fuddy=duddy! [laughs]

[last lines]

Louie Duck:
We won!

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye, lads. And from now on we'll always face our fears, no matter how scary they are.

Louie Duck:
I was afraid you'd say that!... Only kiddin', Uncle Scrooge!

[laughs as he lifts him onto his shoulder]

Louie Duck:
Only kiddin'!

Scrooge McDuck:
I'll never see my money again!

[last lines]

[Webby gets Scrooge a new pet]

Scrooge McDuck:
Now this is a pet I can really like having... a goldfish!

Mrs. Bentina Beakley:
There now, don't you look nice? Just like the Beagle Boys... THE BEAGLE BOYS?

Bigtime Beagle:
Hey, Babyface, get this crazed dame offa me!

Mrs. Bentina Beakley:
That's the last movie you go to! The language you come back with!

Bigtime Beagle:
What are we gonna do, Daddy Scroogey?

Burger Beagle:
Yeah, nothing personal, but we hates living here.

Scrooge McDuck:
I hate having you here. But I'm afraid your mother and I are in this 'til death do us part... [rubs his hands together] Which suddenly gives me a perfectly demented idea.

Burger Beagle:
Ooh, those are our favorite kind!

Duckworth:
One more precious family moment, and I may upchuck.

[after the nephews get Scrooge's money back]

Scrooge McDuck:
My money's the best friends I ever had! And you kids are the best friends my money's ever had!

[Scrooge has been thrown in jail, and finds himself in a cell next to Bubba's]

Bubba:
[sniffling] Scooge hate Bubba.

Scrooge McDuck:
No, no, Bubba, I don't hate you. I'm just mad because I've lost my money... my shineys.

Bubba:
Bubba find one shiney. [holds it out through the bars] Give to Scooge.

Scrooge McDuck:
Curse me kilts... no one's ever given me all their money before.

Duckworth:
And so, in the words of the immortal Shakespeare: hit the road, Jack!

Bigtime Beagle:
That's what we get working for jerks like Glomgold!

Bouncer Beagle:
Yeah! It's enough to make you want to go straight!

[pause]

Bigtime Beagle, Bouncer Beagle:
Naaahh...

Scrooge McDuck:
This is Launchpad, he's my pilot.

Launchpad McQuack:
[to Major Courage] A REAL pilot, not some phoney fly-boy.

Major Courage:
What kept you?

Launchpad McQuack:
[dazed] I would've been back sooner, but they weren't done putting my brain through a blender.

Scrooge McDuck:
[sees the spaceship taking off] Gyro, what did you do?

Gyro Gearloose:
Well you said to make it as realistic as possible, so I did.

Launchpad McQuack:
Real heroes don't need cameras, they just do what needs to be done.

Scrooge McDuck:
[finds out Courage abandoned the boys on an alien spaceship] If he ever gets back alive... I'll KILL him!

Gyro Gearloose:
You may not have to, look. [alien spaceship comes up behind the Phoenix] He's got company!