Duffy's Tavern

Archie:
Charlie, what do you think of this here classical music.

Charley:
It will never take the place of good old Chinese water torture.

Daphne Drake:
Oh, I'm not just acting now. I've decided to become a chanteuse.

Archie:
Well, a little religion never hurt anybody.

[announcing contestants in his singing contest]

Archie:
Following Miss Duffy, mezzo-barracuda, we will have Bertha Middleton, middleweight.

[the winning and losing contestants in Archie's singing contest react predictably]

Daphne Drake:
You two-timer!

Miss Duffy:
You dirty bum!

Bertha:
Don't worry, Archie, you still have me.

Archie:
Still actin' in that stockyard?

Daphne Drake:
That's a stock company.

Archie:
Oh, that depends on which way the wind is blowin'.

[Miss Duffy is taking a singing lesson]

Miss Duffy:
Why weren't you listenin'? I'm gonna win a contest tonight.

Yasha:
Broad jump or pie eating?