Dumbo

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Ooh! Those pink elephants.

Jim Crow:
Ho! Pink elephants? Mm-mmm!

Timothy Q. Mouse:
What's so funny? What are you boys doin' down here, anyway?

Jim Crow:
What are we doing *down* here? Well, hear him talk!

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Ah, fly up a tree where you belong.

Jim Crow:
Say, look here, Brother Rat...

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Brohter Rat? Now listen! I ain't your brother, and I ain't no rat, see?

Jim Crow:
Uh-huh. And I suppose you and no elephant ain't up in no tree, either.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
No! No, me an no tree ain't up no... Huh? Tree?

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Yo! Dumbo. Dumbo. Wake up. Wake up, Dumbo! Don't look now, but I think we're up in a tree!

Mr. Stork:
Straight from heaven up above, here is a baby for you to love.

Elephant Matriarch:
Oh, the shame of it. Let us take the solemn vow. From now on, he is no longer an elephant.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
But I wonder how we ever got up in that tree, anyway. Now, let's see. Elephants can't climb trees, can they? Nah, nah, that's ridiculous. Couldn't jump up. Mm-mmm. It's too high.

Jim Crow:
Hey there, son. Maybe y'all flew up.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Maybe we flew up. Yeah, maybe we... That's it! Dumbo! You flew! Boy, am I stupid. Why didn't I think of this before? Your ears. Just look at 'em, Dumbo. Why, they're poifect wings! The very things that held ya down are gonna carry ya up and up and up! I can see it all now: "Dumbo! The ninth wonder of the univoise! The world's only flyin' elephant!"

Timothy Q. Mouse:
You oughta be ashamed of yourselves. A bunch of big guys like you, pickin' on a poor little orphan like him. Suppose you was torn away from your mother when you was just a baby. Nobody to tuck you in at nights. No warm, soft, caressin' trunk to snuzzle into. How would you like to be left out alone, in a cold, cruel, heartless woild? And why? I ask ya, why? Just because he's got those big ears, they call him a freak. The laughing stock of the circus. And when his mother tried to protect him, they threw her into the clink. And on top of that, they made him a clown! Socially he's washed up! Ah, but what's the use of talkin' to you cold-hearted boids? Go ahead. Have your fun. Laugh at him. Kick him now that he's down. Go on! I don't care.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
All we gotta do is build an act. Make ya a star. A headliner! Dumbo the Great!

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Uh-oh. The Great what?

Timothy Q. Mouse:
What's the matter with his ears? I don't see nothin' wrong with 'em. I think they're cute.

Ringmaster:
Have I got an idea! What an idea!

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Huh. He never had an idea in his life.

Ringmaster:
Just visualize: One elephant climbs up on top of another elephant, until finally, all seventeen elephants have contructed an enormous pyramid of pachyderms. I step out. I blow the whistle. The trumpets are trumpeting...

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Yeah!

Ringmaster:
And now, comes the climax!

Joe:
Yeah, what is the climax?

Ringmaster:
Hmm. I don't know.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
I knew he never had nothin'.

Clown:
Hey, be careful. You'll hurt the little guy.

Skinny:
Aw, go on. Elephants ain't got no feelings.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
Remember, you come of a proud race. Why, you're a... a pachydoim, and pachydoims don't cry.

Timothy Q. Mouse:
You know, lots of people with big ears are famous!

Timothy Q. Mouse:
A proud race... overstuffed hay bags!

Elephant Matriarch:
Quiet up there! Tend to your work, girls.

Elephant Matriarch:
Out of my way, assassin!

Narrator:
Through the snow and sleet and hail.... through the blizzard, through the gale.... through the wind and through the rain.... over mountain, over plain.... through the blinding lightning flash.... and the mighty thunder crash.... ever faithful, ever true.... nothing stops him! He'll get through!

Lion:
[yawning] Oh, dear.

Smitty:
[showing his minions while pointing at Dumbo] Ain't that the funniest thing that you ever saw? [then faces Dumbo] Look at his ears! Baa-ha-ha-ha! [Dumbo is waving his ears to him] Big ee-ee-ee-ears! [flapping his jacket sides to imitate Dumbo's ears] Big ee-ee-ee-ears!

Timothy:
Ya know, Dumbo, we gotta get an idea. Not just any idea. Something colossal! Like, uh--

[The light in the Ringmaster's tent comes on, as he talks to his janitor Joe]

Ringmaster:
Have I got an idea! What an idea!

Timothy:
[to Dumbo] Huh. He never had an idea in his life. [starts listening excitedly]

Ringmaster:
Just visualize! [Joe tries to hang his boss' jacket on his rack but drops it on the ground] Now, one elephant climbs up on top of another elephant until finally.... [taking off his trousers with suspenders attached to them] ....all 17 elephants have constructed an enormous.... [then kicks off his trousers and catches them] ....pyramid of pachyderms! [pulling down on his nightshirt until his head pops up through the collar that causes his top hat to bounce] I step out! I blow the whistle! [then rolls 'R'] The tr-rr-rumpets are tr-rr-rumpeting! [shaking his pointy finger up in the air] And out comes the climax!

Joe:
[brief silence] Yeah? What is the climax?

Ringmaster:
[shrugging] Hmm. I don't know.

Timothy:
[disappointed] I knew that he never had nothin'.

Ringmaster:
[removing his boots and itches his waist while getting in bed] Well, maybe it comes to me in a vision while I dream. Good night, Joe. [gets under his covers, and light goes out]

Joe:
Good night, Boss.

Timothy:
[thinking] Climax.... [struck with an idea] Climax! Dumbo, you're a climax! [hurries away, then comes back] I'll be back in a minute 'cuz I'm gonna take care of your future!

[Timothy sneaks up to the Ringmaster and whispers to him in his sleep]

Timothy:
[playing a ghost inside the Ringmaster's bed sheet] I.... am the voice of your subconscious mind. Your inspiration. Now.... concentrate! [is briefly alarmed when he snores] Remember? Your pyramid of elephants are standin' in the ring, waitin' for a climax!

Ringmaster:
[in his sleep] Climax....

Timothy:
You are now getting that climax!

Ringmaster:
Climax....

Timothy:
[in his normal voice; whispering into the Ringmaster's right ear] How's the reception? Comin' through OK? [the Ringmaster grunts] Good. [takes off his "ghost" disguise] Suddenly, from the sidelines comes your climax!

Ringmaster:
Climax....

Timothy:
Gallopin' across the arena!

Ringmaster:
Arena....

Timothy:
He jumps from a springboard to a platform!

Ringmaster:
Platform....

Timothy:
At the very pinnacle of your pyramid, he waves a flag for a glorious finish!

Ringmaster:
Finish....

Timothy:
And who is your climax? The little elephant with the big ears! The world's mightiest midget mastodon! [screams bloody murder to his ear] DUMBO!!!!

Ringmaster:
[grunting, starting to wake up] What?

Timothy:
[backing away] Dumbo!

Ringmaster:
Dumbo....

Timothy:
[even further away] Dumbo!

Ringmaster:
Dumbo....

Timothy:
[even further away, whispering] Dumbo....

Ringmaster:
Dumbo--! [fully awake, excited] I GOT IT! I GOT IT!!

Ringmaster:
Ladies and gentlemen! We will now present----for your entertainment----the most stupendous, magnificent, super-colossal spectacle! On this tiny, little, insignificant ball, we will construct for you a pyramid---- [his shirt front rolls up to his chin, but he adjusts it] ----not of wood, not of stone, not of steel, blah blah blah blah....

Catty:
[quietly to the Matriarch] Hear him talk to think that he is going to do it.

Matriarch Elephant:
[nodding] That stuffed shirt.

Ringmaster:
....but a living, breathing pyramid of ponderous, pulsating.... [screams bloody murder] ....PULCHRITUDINOUS PACHYDERMS!!!! [his shirt front rolls up to his chin again, but he readjusts it, quiet and refined again] I give you the elephants.

[As the elephants form a pyramid, climbing on top of each other]

Prissy:
Gaining a little weight, are you not, honey?

Catty:
You're no cream puff yourself, dearie!

Matriarch Elephant:
[from the bottom] Quiet up there! And tend to your work, girls.

Matriarch Elephant:
Take your foot out of my eye! [turns to give Prissy a serious frown] Clumsy ox!

Matriarch Elephant:
[to a fleeing Dumbo while rolling on the circus ball with her elephant minions all piled up on her] Out of my way, you li'l assassin, you!

Matriarch Elephant:
[raising her wounded trunk from her sling in serious anger] I swear I would like nothing better than to spank the living daylights out of him-- Oh! Ohh! Ohhhhhhh!!!! [groaning in serious pain while placing her trunk back on her sling]

[4 crows find Dumbo and Timothy asleep in a tree]

Glasses Crow:
Well, lookee here! Lookee here!

Preacher Crow:
My, my! Why, this is the most irregular sight that I've ever seen!

Straw Hat Crow:
[rubbing his eyes] Well, I just can't believe my eyes!

Glasses Crow:
They ain't dead, is they?

Fat Crow:
[smirks] No. Dead people don't snore. [looks unsure] Or do they?

[The crows quietly confer with each other, when Jim "Dandy" Crow swoops down]

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
What's all the ruckus? [shooing his 4 baby brothers away] C'mon! Step aside, brother! Mmm.... what's cookin' 'round here? What's the good news? What's fryin', boys? Hello?!

Glasses Crow:
Just look down there, brother!

Fat Crow:
And prepare yourself for a shock!

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
[looks down and sees Dumbo and Timothy sleeping on a very fragile tree branch] O-HO!! Well, hush my beak!

Straw Hat Crow:
Go ahead. Wake 'em up, brother.

Glasses Crow:
Yeah, find out what they're doin' up here.

Preacher Crow:
Yeah.

Fat Crow:
And ask 'em what they want.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
OK, boys. Leave it to me.

Timothy:
[groaning] Oooooooohhhhhh, those pink elephants.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Oh! [points at Timothy to show his brothers] Pink elephants! Mmmm-mm! [the crows laugh]

Timothy:
What's so funny? What are you "boids" doin' down here, anyway?

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
What are we doin' down here?! [points at Timothy again to them] Well, hear him talk! [the crows laugh again]

Timothy:
Fly up a tree where you belong.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Say, look here, Brother Rat--

Timothy:
[jolts up in serious fury] Brother Rat?! Really?! Now, listen! I ain't your brother, and I ain't no rat! See?!

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Uh-huh. And I suppose that you and no elephant ain't up in no tree, either?! [the crows laugh again]

Timothy:
[angrily] No, me and no tree ain't up no--Tree?

Timothy:
I wonder how we ever got up in that tree, anyway. Now, let's see. Elephants can't climb trees, can they? Nah, nah, that's ridiculous. Couldn't jump up. Mm-mm, it's too high.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
[butting in] Hey there, son! Maybe y'all flew up?

Timothy:
Maybe we flew up. Yeah, maybe we-- [excited] That's it! Dumbo! You flew! Boy, am I stupid. Why did I not think of this before?! Your ears! Just look at 'em, Dumbo--why, they're perfect wings! The very things that held ya down are gonna carry ya.... [flapping his arms to raise himself up off the ground while screaming bloody murder] ....UP.... AND UP.... AND UP!!!! [lands on the ground] I can see it all now! [still screams bloody murder in serious excitement] DUMBO! THE 9TH WONDER OF THE "UNIVOISE"! THE "WOILD'S" ONLY FLYING ELEPHANT!!!!

[The crows laugh hysterically]

Glasses Crow:
Did you ever see an elephant fly?

Preacher Crow:
Well, I've seen a horse fly.

Fat Crow:
Ah, I've seen a dragon fly.

Straw Hat Crow:
[giggling] I've seen a house fly!

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Well, I've seen all that, too! [singing] I seen a peanut stand and heard a rubber band! And I seen a needle that winked its eye! But I be done seen about everything when I see a elephant fly!

Fat Crow:
Whatchu say, boy?

Timothy:
[storms to a stump and climbs it after the crows sing "When I See an Elephant Fly"] Alright, you wise "boids"! This has gone far enough! [slams his circus cap in the stump in serious anger]

[The crows are still laughing]

Jim Crow:
[silences his brothers with a wave of his hand] Quiet, gentlemen! [then points with his bowler hat to the annoyed Timothy standing on the stump as a podium] The Reverend Rodent is sure gonna ad-dress ya guys.

Timothy:
You all oughtta be ashamed of yourselves! A bunch of big guys like you, pickin' on a poor little orphan like him. Suppose that you was torn away from your mother when you guys was just a baby? Nobody to tuck you in at nights. No warm, soft, caressin' trunk to snuzzle into. How would you like to be left out all alone in a cold, cruel, heartless "woild"? And why, I ask you? Why?!? Just because he's got those big ears, they call him a freak! The laughingstock of the "soikus"! And when his mother tried to protect him, bam! They've thrown her into the clink. And on top of that, they've made him a clown! Socially, he's washed up! Aw, but what's the use of talkin' to you cold-hearted "boids"? Go ahead! Have your fun! Laugh at him! [gives his cap a swift kick in serious anger] Kick him, now that he's down! Go on! [now starting to cry, then shrugs] We don't care.[He turns away, blows his nose, and jumps off the stump as the crows cry] Come on, Dumbo. [they walk away]

Jim Crow:
[feeling better already] Hey, brother! Wait up! Don't go 'way feelin' like that. [Timothy tries to storm away from him] We've done seen the light. You boys is OK.

Timothy:
[stops Jim Crow] Please, huh? You've done enough.

Jim Crow:
But we's all fixin' to help ya. Ain't that the truth, boys? [The other crows agree] You wanna make the elephant fly, don't ya? Well, you have to use a lot of chology. You know, like, psy-chology. Now, here's what you do. Fellas, gather 'round, will yas? [They huddle up] First you, uh.... [whispering] Then after that, you.... [He then plucks a feather off Glasses Crow's tail]

Glasses Crow:
[yells and jumps in serious pain which causes both his spectacles and hat rise up] OW!!!! [then grabs his tail with his hands to cover the pain]

Jim Crow':
[gives the feather to Timothy] Use the magic feather! Ya catch on?

Timothy:
The magic feather? [looks at the feather, which briefly glows in a "light bulb idea" way] Yeah, I gotcha. Dumbo! [rushes to Dumbo, giving him the feather] Look! Have I got it! The magic feather! Now, you can fly! [Dumbo looks at the feather in his trunk, puzzled]

Casey Junior:
[Whistling]: All aboard! Let's go!

Casey Junior:
[Puffing up the hill] I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! I... Think... I... Can! I... [Going downhill] ...Thought I could! I thought I could! I thought I could! I thought I could! I thought I could! Whoo-hoo!

Timothy Q. Mouse:
[As Dumbo falls off the platform, losing the feather on the way] Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears! The magic feather was just a gag! You can fly! Honest, you can! Hurry, open them up! PLEASE! [At the last moment, Dumbo opens his ears and soars over the crowd.] WHEE! We did it! We did it! Let's show them, Dumbo! Power dive!