Easy to Love

Carol Townsend:
Aren't you coming up?

John Townsend:
Directly, dear. I see Andrews hovering over the Scotch and I wouldn't want to disappoint him. Will you have a spot before you turn in?

Carol Townsend:
No thank you. Hurry won't you?

John Townsend:
But I thought you didn't want to go to bed.

Carol Townsend:
John, you just *won't* understand.

Carol Townsend:
It's funny the evolution of marriage. First, a double bed, then twin beds, now separate rooms.

Carol Townsend:
One never does know, does one, about one's best friend.

John Townsend:
I love her as a husband loves his wife, and you as a man loves a woman.

Justice of the Peace:
Well, I've had a lot of shotgun weddings, but this is the first fire ax wedding I've ever officiated at.

Charlotte:
Is this a private fight or can anyone join in?

Detective John McTavish:
When a woman as nice like yourself, comes to see a Detective like me it's because her husband's up to no good. What's the scamper doing? Sending you flowers, I suppose?

Carol Townsend:
Why, yes, he has.

Carol Townsend:
Just as I thought. When flowers comes in the door, love flies out the window.

Detective John McTavish:
Now, what's your husband's name?

Carol Townsend:
John.

Detective John McTavish:
Oh, John, oh, the scamp. The same name as mine.

Eric:
Miki, think of it! She succumbed!

Miki - Eric's Servant:
Yes sir! Shall I prepare for your bath?

Eric:
Immediately!

Eric:
Oh, we're just putty in the hands of fate. Love is a remarkable thing. It just must have its way!

Eric:
Faster, please. You know, Carol, you're so impetuous! I never realized it. You always seemed so cold and so reserved.

Carol Townsend:
Oh, Eric is so impetuous! Sit here, Eric, now. I think this is too lovely!

Carol Townsend:
But, I think that's too daring for words! I'd like to try one.

Eric:
Oh, Carol!

Carol Townsend:
Yes, Eric, just one. Do give me one, Charlotte.

Charlotte:
Well, I, eh, I just used up the last box, I'm sorry.

Eric:
I'm glad of that. I do not approve of women smoking cigars.

Carol Townsend:
Eric is so old fashioned - about some things. Ha-ha. Well, I suppose I've got to go back to plain, everyday, cigarettes.

Carol Townsend:
Now, this is exactly what we want. A perfect love nest.

Eric:
Oh, quite. Quite.

Carol Townsend:
Interesting bed, isn't it?

Carol Townsend:
Can anybody hear us?

Charlotte:
Of course not! Why do you ask?

Carol Townsend:
Charlotte, I've got to frank with you. There's a man in this room, isn't there?

Eric:
A man! Where?

Carol Townsend:
Well, goodbye Charlotte. Let the poor Colonel out of the closet.

John Townsend:
It may not have happened yet. I'm going home. I'm going to nip this Eric business in the bud before it goes any further.

John Townsend:
Say, I've got to get out of here and think this thing over and plan a campaign.

Charlotte:
Well, can't you plan it here?

John Townsend:
He'll be fit to be canned when I finish with him along with his smelly sardines.

Charlotte:
Oh, now John, calm yourself, darling.

John Townsend:
Calm myself, knowing that my wife may have been unfaithful to me? The only woman I ever loved!

Charlotte:
Well, what about me?

Carol Townsend:
Wiggle that around, will you? Please?

John Townsend:
Carol, you have a lovely back.

Carol Townsend:
We find new wonders every day.

John Townsend:
And this beauty spot is most intriguing!

Carol Townsend:
Since when has that mole become a beauty spot?

Janet:
But they never quarrel. Never! They were snapping at each other like turtles.

Janet:
Paul, you wait here. I'm going up and have a hen-to-hen talk with mother.

Charlotte:
I just meant it wouldn't be so hard on her if you married me.

John Townsend:
I apologize in advance for what I'm about to say; but, for heaven's sake - will you shut up!

Carol Townsend:
Oh, its so good of you to help me.

Eric:
Why, just to be near you, my princess, is exciting.

Carol Townsend:
Yes, now, run along, there's a good boy. Will you Eric? I'm tired. I-I wanted to lie down.

Eric:
Oh, well, can't I stay just a little while?

Carol Townsend:
Of course not. I'm going to undress.

Carol Townsend:
What is it darling?

Janet:
Paul and I are going to live together.

Carol Townsend:
Quite right, darling. Young people should. When do you intend to marry?

Janet:
We're not going to marry.

Janet:
Who's there?

John Townsend:
It's your father, Janet. Open the door. Janet, do you hear me? Open this door!

Janet:
Paul says no, father. You see, we're in bed!

Carol Townsend:
Will you promise to get married immediately?

Janet:
Oh, as soon as we can get some clothes on, Mother.

John Townsend:
It's those crazy youngsters, Paul and Janet, they're in that room in bed and they're not married!

Eric:
What?

Charlotte:
How enterprising of them.

Carol Townsend:
If immorality is enterprising, you're a pioneer!

Eric:
Well, then, this is all your fault!

John Townsend:
Say, you keep your nose out of my affairs!

Carol Townsend:
Affairs describes it perfectly!

Eric:
Why, Charlotte, would it surprise you to know that the female sardine, in breeding, spawns between four and five million eggs.

Charlotte:
How exciting!