Eddie

ESPN Radio Announcer:
ESPN.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Yeah, put me on with this clown.

ESPN Radio Announcer:
(to Chris Berman) We've got a hot one on Line 4 -- Eddie from Manhattan.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Billy, you really want a mascot, baby? You need to put a saddle on Bailey and ride his behind around Central Park all night. That's what you need.

"Wild Bill" Burgess:
Ha ha. Well, you know, if that would sell tickets, I might consider it, hon.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Ha ha. Yeah, right, and don't call me "hon". (Eddie then realizes that "Wild Bill" is in her limousine.)

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Bailey! Bailey! Bailey, you gonna try something new tonight, like trying to coach? It's the NBA, buddy -- no buttheads allowed, but you keep coming back. I don't understand it.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
You see the sign back there? It says John 3:16. That is not a biblical quote, baby. You know what that is? That's your sorry road record 'cause you're the anti-coach!

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Do you have 666 on your head?

Coach John Bailey:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Say, Eddie, come back again when you can afford the seats back here.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Soon as you start winning, I'll be back.

Coach John Bailey:
So long!

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Hey, Zimmer, get a life, get a face, get a new coat, buddy!

MSG Announcer:
At forward, 6'9", Anthony "Pig" Miller!

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Boo!

Claudine:
Why do they call him "Pig"?

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
'Cause he's not kosher.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
That was Walt Frazier's jersey!

Fair Weather Fan:
That's Walt Frazier's jersey!

"Wild Bill" Burgess:
And that's just the beginning, folks. We got more surprises for you. And don't forget the honorary coach contest at halftime. Let's play some basketball.

Coach John Bailey:
A freak show. He's going to turn it into a freak show.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
(to a referee while honorary coach) Hey, you with the $1.99 rug on your head! Would you get out of my way, please?

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
You realize your son got a D in English?

Rae Jones:
What's that got to do with him playing ball?

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
A lot, but your first question should have been, "Why did he get a D in English?" You need to start paying attention to him in school or you're going to be watching him in court instead of on the court.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
(to Carl) Just think, I used to like him.

Joe Sparks:
(to Stacy) I don't get it, man. Is she "The Gipper" or not?

Stacy Patton:
Man, you sure are white!

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
You're not a player, looking like a little roach.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Was that your mistake, Mr. Rodman? I think so.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Bad hair.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
For the moment. Get your earrings, baby. You look naked.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Excuse me! Lawyers, agents, models, pseudo-models, rappers, people with bad rugs -- if you're not wearing a jersey that says New York Knicks, get up and get out right now.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
I thought this was a professional basketball team. Obviously, I'm out of my mind. I'm in here with rap artists and pitchmen. Do you remember that people pay to come and see you guys? People spent $2,000 on season tickets up in the nosebleed sections because they think you guys are worthwhile. And what about the little kids? Oh, forget about them, huh? The little kids who actually think you guys are heroes -- stupid them! (Eddie walks out of the locker room.)

Darren Taylor:
$2,000 for some season tickets? That makes you think.

Stacy Patton:
Yeah, home girl has some sorry seats.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
Hey, Patton, pass the ball! What are you, the black hole of basketball? Come on!

Joe Sparks:
(to Stacy) You going to let her call you a black ho?

Darren Taylor:
Man, a HOLE.

Stacy Patton:
What's a black hole?

Terry Hastings:
I knew that.

Coach John Bailey:
(now as coach of the Charlotte Hornets) Hey, Zimmer, where's your coach -- still in the ladies' room?

Carl Zimmer:
I don't know where she is.

Coach John Bailey:
Well, if she doesn't show up here pretty quick, you're going to have awfully big shoes to fill, even if they are high heels.

Carl Zimmer:
Uh, John, I've been around for a lot of years. I learned from the best.

Coach John Bailey:
Well, thanks, Carl. I appreciate that, really. Thank you.

Carl Zimmer:
I wasn't talking about you.

Coach John Bailey:
Chump.

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
You know

Edwina "Eddie" Franklin:
takes a chance every time he comes riding out on that dumb old horse, not realizing that eventually somebody's going to hit him upside the head with a hot dog.

Ivan Radovadovitch:
Ivan take charge!

Coach John Bailey:
(to referee) You cost us the game. You stink.

Patton's Mama:
My baby is not gonnna go to St. Louis. Howdy, Bill!

"Wild Bill" Hastings:
Why, howdy, ma'am.

Patton's Mama:
(while hitting "Wild Bill") Game over! How dare you try to take my son away!