Edgemont

Scott Linton:
Now, this is totally hypothetical, but what I mean is do you figure a Christian would go out with someone like me?

Shannon Ng:
Brenda. Is that who we're talking about?

Scott Linton:
No, of course not. Brenda who?

Shannon Ng:
[laughs] I thought you were looking at her all funny.

Scott Linton:
All right. But don't tell her I asked you. Please.

Shannon Ng:
Okay. This is how it works. If you ask Brenda out, she has to discuss it with a priest. If he thinks you're suitable, then you and Brenda both apply to the Pope for a special dispensation.

Scott Linton:
No. Seriously, if you were a Brenda-type girl, would you go out with a non-Christian guy?

Shannon Ng:
Seriously? Sure.

Scott Linton:
Yeah?

Shannon Ng:
Yeah, but probably not a total atheist. You'd have to have some sort of spiritual side.

Laurel Yeung:
This is classic. I am homeless, camping in my boyfriend's basement with other women pounding on the door and 14-year-olds pawing through my underwear. I mean, what could possibly be better?

Mark Deosdade:
Not much.

Laurel Yeung:
Any other deeply personal questions you'd like to ask?

Mark Deosdade:
Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Laurel Yeung:
Yes, but it was dark.

Mark Deosdade:
Seriously?

Laurel Yeung:
No!

[laughter]

Maggie Buckman:
[to Laurel] Since you're obviously so much more comfortable with this, maybe Shannon should share your room.

Shannon Ng:
I'm not sharing anyone's room. If I wanted to live in a hostile environment, I'd still be at my parents'. You can give the damage deposit back to Laurel.

[Shannon walks away]

Maggie Buckman:
So, I guess we start looking for a new roommate.

Laurel Yeung:
Actually, you start looking for two roommates.

Maggie Buckman:
What?

Laurel Yeung:
I thought honesty was important to you.

Maggie Buckman:
Exactly!

Laurel Yeung:
So be honest! You wanted Shannon to live with us. Until you found out she was gay.

Shannon Ng:
And if he was gay, do you think he'd feel comfortable coming out in this environment?

Mark Deosdade:
Look, why is this such a problem?

Shannon Ng:
Because I'm gay, all right?

Shannon Ng:
You're right about the frogs, though. We have to do something.

Craig Woodbridge:
We?

Shannon Ng:
Whoever heard of a one-person geek patrol?

Shannon Ng:
She was trying to set me up behind my back.

Craig Woodbridge:
So? Jordan's a nice guy.

Shannon Ng:
She never even asked me, Craig.

Craig Woodbridge:
Well, uh, say you've got other plans.

Shannon Ng:
I can't. I'm on the dance committee. I have to go. So, what do I say? "I just don't want to go with you"?

Craig Woodbridge:
Maybe you could say you were going with someone else.

[Jordan walks up]

Jordon Rosen:
Hey, Shannon. Look, I'm just gonna cut to the chase here, okay? Would you like to go to the dance on Friday?

Shannon Ng:
Sorry. I can't. I'm already going with Craig.

Craig Woodbridge:
[mouths] What?

Shannon Ng:
Anika, think about it. Why would any guy ask you to dance?

Anika Nedeau:
I beg your pardon?

Shannon Ng:
When was the last time you said anything remotely nice to one of them?

Shannon Ng:
I should touch base with clean-up committee.

Craig Woodbridge:
And, after that, is there something we should be doing? I mean, I'm not exactly sure about the etiquette for a non-date.

Shannon Ng:
If this was a real date, we'd have a better idea. Theoretically. Since I've never exactly been on one of those either.

Craig Woodbridge:
I guess we could practice.

Shannon Ng:
Uh, trial run? In case the real thing ever happens?

Craig Woodbridge:
Hey, we could even go in there and dance.

Shannon Ng:
would depend. You're not one of those guys who shuffles like a zombie?

Craig Woodbridge:
Absolutely not.

Shannon Ng:
And you don't flay around like you're having a seizure?

Craig Woodbridge:
Never.

Shannon Ng:
Meet me in there. Fifteen minutes.

Laurel Yeung:
So, you and Craig are officially an item?

Shannon Ng:
I guess so.

Laurel Yeung:
You look really...

Shannon Ng:
Relieved?

Laurel Yeung:
Happy.

Shannon Ng:
Yeah. That, too.

Laurel Yeung:
Why relieved?

Shannon Ng:
Well, it took me long enough to get a boyfriend, right? I was beginning to think that I was gay or something.