Eight on the Lam

Henry Dimsdale:
[to Golda] Listen, I don't mind you having a little snack, but with your appetite I have to keep counting the kids around here.

Henry Dimsdale:
[finding $10,000] Poor guy who lost this doesn't get it back, he'll empty his swimming pool and dive in.

Mark:
[after scaring his dad with a toy gun] Ha-ha-ha. I scared him.

Linda:
Don't ever do that, Mark. Daddy could die of fright.

Mark:
If he does, can I have his room?

Henry Dimsdale:
Honey, we're talking about $10.000. Nobody can afford to lose that kind of money unless they have long hair and play a guitar.

Henry Dimsdale:
Boy, I've got to get you out of here. You're breathing too much of this detergent.

Golda:
You know, there's something sick about being so honest.

Henry Dimsdale:
You think I'm happy about it? But I gotta think about the kids. I got to set an example for 'em to follow.

Golda:
Some example! They'll grow up and try to become idiots.

[Uttering a line harkening back to Phyllis and Bob's previous movie together]

Golda:
Boy, have YOU got a wrong number.

Henry Dimsdale:
Well, hello, Honey. Hey, how about puttin' down your pencil and putting on some lipstick? I'm taking you out to dinner tonight to someplace special where you don't have to order the special.

Linda:
[trying to show off her new dress while her siblings are busily enjoying their own new things] Well, with this family I might as well walk around naked.

Mark:
[sing-songy] Ah, you said a dirty word.

Henry Dimsdale:
Hey, if money can't buy happiness, then this is a pretty crazy brand of misery.

[Henry answers the front door while holding his engagement ring for Ellie]

Golda:
Oh, Henry, you shouldn't have!

Henry Dimsdale:
I didn't.

Golda:
I know, but I love to watch a coward squirm.

Henry Dimsdale:
Hey, Marty! What are you doin' here at this hour? Your wife left you.

Marty:
Nothing like that. This is BAD news.

Henry Dimsdale:
But, Marty, you believe me, don't ya?

Marty:
Of course. You're not bright enough to steal fifty thousand dollars.

Henry Dimsdale:
FIFTY thousand dollars?

Henry Dimsdale:
[to himself] All I have to do now is figure out what I have to do now.

Golda:
[butting in] Get out of town.

Henry Dimsdale:
Hey, how do you know what happened?

Golda:
I've got wall-to-wall ears.

Henry Dimsdale:
Hey, you're very kind.

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
You're very playful.

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
[treed to the top of the refrigerator by the family dog] I wanted THIS kind of action, I'd have been a mailman.

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
[as Golda gyrates around the kitchen] Hey, what're you doing?

Golda:
I'm dancing. Oh, that music turns me on!

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
Really? I thought you had a cold button somewhere.

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
[thinking Golda has been sneaking around with his boss] How long has this been going on?

Golda:
About thirty seconds. I knew you'd find out, sooner or later.

Golda:
[at police headquarters] What kind of a third degree is THIS? Here I was, looking forward to something, and what do I get? No light in my eyes. All the water I want. No rubber hose. You haven't even hit me with a folded newspaper. Talk about police brutality!

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
Lieutenant, we'll never get her to talk if she won't stop talking.

Henry Dimsdale:
This house is a bargain for a family like ours. It's cheaper than bail. And, besides, we gotta figure a place to hide out until I can get my name cleared, if you can clear "mud."

Ellie Barton:
But I want to be with you.

Henry Dimsdale:
Yeah, but they wouldn't put me in a women's prison.

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
That "other guy" happens to be my sweetheart.

Henry Dimsdale:
[driving] Hey, I'll cut over and go up the on-ramp.

Ellie Barton:
The freeway? Won't it be easy to recognize us?

Henry Dimsdale:
Not up there. Everybody drives like a fugitive.

Police Sgt. Jasper Lynch:
Boy! This guy is tough and slippery!

Golda:
But is he REALLY happy?

Monica:
Where you going?

Mr. Pomeroy:
Back to my wife. I can't stand her but at least she's loyal.

Monica:
Hm! You just can't trust a married man.