Ein Freund von mir

Gesch?ftsmann:
[first words of the movie] Ladies and Gentlemen, we're now getting to the long awaited presentation of the "Archer", awarded each year for the most successful product. May I ask up to the stage: Karl Bornwald! [Applause]

Karl:
Thanks a lot.

Naumann:
There is always a solution. If we don't find it, then it's not because there isn't any, but because we don't know enough yet.

Karl:
I don't understand. I'm supposed to transfer cars for one day?

Naumann:
Yes. Maybe you should do that for one day.

Hans:
Does one have to sing here?

Karl:
Whatever you do, don't sing. Tell him you're talking to God every night before you go to sleep.

Hans:
Do you know why such a giant big piece of metal and plastic and, what have you, teapots, seats, stewardesses and so on, can fly at all?

Karl:
[indicates] No

Hans:
Because the travel distance of the air above the wing is longer than underneath.

Karl:
I've been studying theology once.

Hans:
[chuckling] So you're not allowed to sleep with women.

Karl:
What?

Hans:
Not even touch them, right? Not even pat a little, or grab a bit. Nothing, right?

Karl:
No.

Hans:
No. Not at all, right?

Karl:
Yes yes yes. I only studied it, right? I'm allowed everything.

Hans:
Are you happy?

Karl:
I don't know.

Hans:
Who's waiting for you at home, your girl-friend?

Karl:
Nobody.

Hans:
So, Nobody's her name!

Stelle:
I have cake.

Hans:
Cake is top!

Stelle:
Frank, this is Karl. Karl is a friend of mine.

Frank:
Oh, of course. We've remained very good friends, too, didn't we?

Hans:
Say, are you mad because you wanted to take a shower, too? Or did you want to take a shower with me?

Hans:
Did you know that the Earth is not a globe?

Hans:
It's a level rotational ellipsoid.

Karl:
The girls are waiting for the bus.

Hans:
Right! These aren't just girls. They're girls Waiting For The Bus!

Hans:
[waving] Hoohoo!

Theo:
[reading a number plate] DA-D 9779.

Karl:
That's a palindromic number.

Theo:
A what?

Karl:
Like Anna or Otto. You can read it forwards and backwards. Like "Reliefpfeiler".

Hans:
Stelle just arrived from London. I thought, maybe we could go drink a cup of coffee.

Karl:
I'd like to. Hans, would you lend me your clothes, as long as you're wearing mine?

Karl:
[to Stelle in her stewardess outfit] Can I try on your uniform, too?

Hans:
I think, if I were a woman, I'd have really good tits. Small, but pretty hot. And you'd certainly have a good ass.

Karl:
Are we friends?

Karl:
Do you think it's "hot" or "top", if I'm kissing your girl-friend?

Hans:
You're crazy about her! But, admit it, you're also a wee bit crazy about me, aren't you?

Hans:
Karl, don't forget your stolen car!

Karl:
You're funny, Hans. But you don't see the world as it really is.

Hans:
Do you think it's my dream to drive around with a f***ing car? You didn't get anything.

Karl:
[last words of the movie] Hey! Burrico!