Erin Brockovich

Theresa Dallavale:
Okay, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here...

Erin Brockovich:
That's all you got, lady. Two wrong feet and f***ing ugly shoes.

Erin Brockovich:
Bite my ass, Krispy Kreme!

Erin Brockovich:
For the first time in my life, I got people respecting me. Please, don't ask me to give it up.

Erin Brockovich:
Did they teach you how to apologize at lawyer school? 'Cause you suck at it.

Ed Masry:
Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize? Because you suck at it!

Ed Masry:
What makes you think you can just walk in there and take whatever you want?

Erin Brockovich:
They're called b*obs, Ed.

Kurt Potter:
Wha... how did you do this?

Erin Brockovich:
Well, um, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise, and Ed here was losing all faith in the system, am I right?

Ed Masry:
Oh, yeah, completely. No faith, no faith...

Erin Brockovich:
I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired.

Ed Masry:
In a law firm you may want to re-think your wardrobe a little.

Erin Brockovich:
Well as long as I have one ass instead of two I'll wear what I like if that's all right with you? You might want to re-think those ties.

Erin Brockovich:
Are you going to be something else that I have to survive? Because I don't think I can handle it.

Erin Brockovich:
NOT PERSONAL! That is my WORK, my SWEAT, and MY TIME AWAY FROM MY KIDS! IF THAT IS NOT PERSONAL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!

Ms. Sanchez:
Let's be honest here. $20 million dollars is more money then these people have ever dreamed of.

Erin Brockovich:
Oh see, now that pisses me off. First of all, since the demur we have more than 400 plaintiffs and... let's be honest, we all know there are more out there. They may not be the most sophisticated people but they do know how to divide and $20 million isn't *sh*t* when you split it between them. Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich. They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of *twenty*. Like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours. Or have their spine deteriorate, like Stan Blume, *another* client of ours. So before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.

Erin Brockovich:
By the way, we had that water brought in especially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.

Ms. Sanchez:
I think this meeting is over.

Ed Masry:
Damn right it is.

Erin Brockovich:
Look I don't know sh*t about sh*t but I know right from wrong!

George:
How many numbers you got?

Erin Brockovich:
Oh, I got numbers comin' outta my ears. For instance: ten.

George:
Ten?

Erin Brockovich:
Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.

George:
You got a little girl?

Erin Brockovich:
Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How 'bout this for a number? Six. That's how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I've been married -- and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it.

Erin Brockovich:
Isn't it funny how some people go out of their way to help others, when others just fire them?

Ed Masry:
Look, I'm sorry but you were gone for a week. I assumed you were off having fun.

Erin Brockovich:
Oh, and why the hell would you assume that?

Ed Masry:
I don't know. You look like someone who likes to have fun.

Erin Brockovich:
Oh, so by that standard I should assume that you never get laid.

Ed Masry:
I'm married!

Ed Masry:
Look. What is this all about?

Erin Brockovich:
Do you want to know? Then you'll have to hire me back. I've got a ton of bills to pay.

Ed Masry:
Fine! Fine!

Ed Masry:
This is a whole different ball game. A much bigger deal.

Erin Brockovich:
Kind of like David and whats-his-name.

Ed Masry:
Kind of like David and whats-his-name's whole f***ing family.

Donna Jensen:
You're a lawyer?

Erin Brockovich:
NO, no... I hate lawyers. I only work for them.

Ed Masry:
I'd love to help, Erin, but I'm sorry, I have a full staff right now, so...

Erin Brockovich:
Bullshit. If you had a full staff, this office would return a client's damn phone calls.

Erin Brockovich:
So tell me something Scott, does PG&E pay you to cover their ass or do you just do it out of the kindness of your heart?

Erin Brockovich:
Annabelle Daniels: 74-454-9346. 10 years old, 11 in May. Lived on the plume since birth. Wanted to be a synchronized swimmer so she spent every minute she could in the PG&E pool. She had a tumor in her brain stem detected last November, an operation on Thanksgiving, shrunk it with radiation after that. Her parents are Ted & Rita. Ted's got Crohn's disease, Rita has chronic headaches, and nausea, and underwent a hysterectomy last fall. Ted grew up in Hinkley. His brother Robbie, and his wife May and their five children: Robbie Jr, Martha, Ed, Rose & Peter *also* lived on the plume. Their number is 454-9554. You want their diseases?

Ed Masry:
[giving Erin her bonus check] It's not exactly what we discussed.

Erin Brockovich:
Ya know why everyone thinks that all lawyers are back stabbing, blood sucking scum bags? cause they are! and I can not believe you expect me to go out, leave my kids with strangers and get people to trust you with THEIR lives while all the while your screwing me! You know, Ed, it's not about the number! It's about the way my work is valued in this firm...

[She looks at the check, made out for $2 million]

Ed Masry:
Like I was saying, I thought that the number you proposed was inappropriate, so I increased it.

[Turns to walk away and turns around to her]

Ed Masry:
Do they teach beauty queens to apologize? Because you sure suck at it!

[Long pause, as Erin looks at the check]

Erin Brockovich:
Uh, Ed... Uh... thank you...

Ed Masry:
This is a whole different ball game. A much bigger deal.

Erin Brockovich:
Kind of like David and whats-his-name.

Ed Masry:
Kind of like David and whats-his-name's whole f***ing family. [sighs] Okay, here's the deal: If, and only if, you find all the evidence to back this up, I'll do it, I'll take it on.

Erin Brockovich:
You're doing the right thing, Mr. Masry.

Ed Masry:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remind me of that when I'm filing for bankruptcy.

Ed Masry:
[after a meeting with a PG&E representative] Didn't you hear? They have $28 billion at their disposal!

Erin Brockovich:
So?

Ed Masry:
You think I'm MADE of money?

Erin Brockovich:
What are you yelling at me for?

Ed Masry:
Because I'm pissed off!

Erin Brockovich:
Good!

Ed Masry:
[throws down tie] F*** you!

Erin Brockovich:
F*** you back!

Ed Masry:
[starts laughing] I really hate you sometimes, I really do.

Erin Brockovich:
Aww, you love me.

Erin Brockovich:
Not personal?! That is my work, my sweat, my time away from my kids! If that's not personal, I don't know what is!