Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Joel:
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Clementine:
This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.

Joel:
I know.

Clementine:
What do we do?

Joel:
Enjoy it.

Joel:
I think we should go.

Clementine:
No, it's our house! Just tonight...

Clementine:
...we're David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I'd like to be Ruth, but I can be flexible.

Howard:
He's gone off the map!

Joel:
Is there any risk of brain damage?

Howard:
Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.

Patrick:
You know that girl we did last week? The one with the potatoes.

Stan:
That girl? Yeah, that's this guy's girl.

Patrick:
Yeah.

Stan:
Right... Was. Took care of that.

Patrick:
Well uh, I kind of fell in love with her that night.

Stan:
What? You little f***!

Patrick:
What?

Stan:
She was unconscious, man.

Patrick:
Well, she was beautiful and... I stole a pair of her panties as well.

Stan:
Jesus!

Patrick:
What? It's not like - I mean they were clean and all.

Stan:
Don't tell me this stuff! I don't wanna hear this sh*t!

Clementine:
You know me, I'm impulsive.

Joel:
That's what I love about you.

Patrick:
Baby, whats wrong?

Clementine:
I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I'm lost! I'm scared! I feel like I'm disappearing! MY SKIN COMING OFF! I'M GETTING OLD! Nothing makes any sense to me! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!

Clementine:
HEY! Lets go out dancing! You want to go out to Montauk with me?

Patrick:
Montauk?

Clementine:
Yeah, NO! Come out to Boston with me!

Patrick:
Sure, we can go next weekend.

Clementine:
NO! Now! Now! I have to go see the frozen Charles NOW!

Joel:
Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore! I want to call it off!

Joel:
Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

Mary:
Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.

Mary:
Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil. Found it in my Bartlett's.

Clementine:
My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.

Joel:
Yuck!

Mary:
How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

Clementine:
Joel, I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a f***ed up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

Joel:
I remember that speech really well.

Clementine:
I had you pegged, didn't I?

Joel:
You had the whole human race pegged.

Clementine:
Probably.

Joel:
I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.

Joel:
I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

Rob:
F***!

Carrie:
Rob, give it a rest.

Rob:
Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.

Joel:
This is working like gangbusters.

Joel:
What is it?

Rob:
I don't know, it's a place that does a thing...

Joel:
Are we like couples you see in restaurants? Are we the dining dead?

Rob:
The plane crashed. I didn't crash the plane.

Clementine:
Joely? What if you stay this time?

Joel:
I walked out the door. There's no memory left.

Clementine:
Come back and make up a goodbye at least, let's pretend we had one... Goodbye, Joel.

Joel:
...I love you...

Clementine:
...Meet me in Montauk...

Patrick:
Mary hates me. I've never been popular with the ladies.

Stan:
Maybe if you stopped stealing their panties.

Joel:
Wait.

Clementine:
Why?

Joel:
I don't know. Just wait... for a while.

Clementine:
Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

Clementine:
Joel, hide me in your humiliation!

Mary:
That was beautiful to watch, Howard. Like a surgeon or a concert pianist.

Stan:
You looked happy. Happy with a secret.

Joel Barish:
Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that. It appears this is my first entry in two years.

Joel:
I don't know. What if it breaks?

Clementine:
What if? Do you really care right now?

Joel:
Look at it out here, it's all falling apart. I'm erasing you and I'm happy!

Joel:
By morning, you'll be gone.

Carrie:
She decided to erase you almost as a lark.

Howard:
You want to empty your home, your life of Clementine.

Clementine:
I'm f***ing crawling out of my skin. I should've left you at the flea market.

Joel:
Where's the self help section?

Joel:
Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one.

Clementine:
Sometimes I don't think people realize how lonely it is to be a kid.

Mary:
It's a birthmark!

Joel:
I can't remember anything without you.

Clementine:
That's sweet, but try.

Mary:
He could wake up all half-baked and gooey! Mmm, half-baked. I'm hungry.

Joel:
My God, there's people coming out of your butt.

Carrie:
You're stoned and you're driving.

Rob:
Pot balances me out. Pot brings me up. That's I smoke it if I'm going to be drinking.

Frank:
McRomance. Want some fries with that shake?

Joel:
I don't see anything I don't like about you.

Clementine:
But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.

Joel:
Okay.

Clementine:
Okay.

Joel:
Okay.

Clementine:
Let me show you something... come on...

Joel:
I think I heard a crack.

Clementine:
It's not gonna crack, or break, or... it's so thick!... Show me which constellations you know.

Joel:
Um... oh... I don't... know any.

Clementine:
Show me which ones you know!

Joel:
Okay... okay... oh! There's Osidius.

Clementine:
Where?

Joel:
Right there... see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius the Emphatic.

Clementine:
You're full of sh*t, right?

Joel:
Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross.

Clementine:
Shut the f*** up!

Clementine:
I'm gonna marry you... I know it!

Joel:
Ummm... okay...

Clementine:
Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really.

Joel:
That's okay, I really didn't think you were.

Joel:
I'm so ashamed.

Clementine:
It's okay, you're a little kid.

Rob:
It's not about us, it's about Joel, who's an adult, okay, not "Momma Carrie's kid"!

Clementine:
Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance. So I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin' on there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.

Joel:
Okay.

4-Year-Old Joel:
I really want her to pick me up. It's amazing how strong that desire is.

Joel:
Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

Clementine:
I wish you'd stayed.

Joel:
I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.

Joel:
I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security.

Clementine:
I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.

Clementine:
Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call. That'd be... nice!

Clementine:
You married?

Joel:
No.

Clementine:
Let's move into this neighborhood!

Joel:
I do sorta live with someone though.

Clementine:
Male or female?

Joel:
What? Female... female...

Clementine:
At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree!

Clementine:
My embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice, right now.

Joel:
Yes?

Patrick:
Can I help you?

Joel:
What do you mean?

Patrick:
Can I help you with something?

Joel:
No.

Patrick:
What are you doing here?

Joel:
I'm not really sure what you're asking.

Patrick:
Oh, thanks...

Clementine:
You're not a stalker, or anything, right?

Joel:
I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?

Clementine:
That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.

Joel:
Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.

Mary:
I wanted to understand as much as I could about the procedure as possible... I think it's important for my job to understand the inner workings of the work that we do, well not that I do, but the work that is done by people where I also work, the work of my colleagues.

Clementine:
What took you so long?

Joel:
I just walked in.

Clementine:
Do you miss me?

Joel:
Oddly enough, I do!

Clementine:
You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!

Joel:
I guess so!

Carrie:
I saw you talking to someone pretty!

Rob:
Yeah, man, who was that?

Joel:
She was... just a girl.

Frank:
The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother. How pathetic is that?

Clementine:
I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I'd like it.

Clementine:
I'm a vindictive little b*tch, truth be told!

Clementine:
What are you, NUTS?

Joel:
It's been suggested.

Joel:
I think your name is magical.

Clementine:
You're really nice... God, I have to stop saying that!

Joel:
I had a really nice time last night.

Clementine:
Nice?

Joel:
I had the best f***ing night of my entire f***ing life, last night!

Clementine:
Thaaaat's better!

Clementine:
You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything, every damn, embarrassing thing.

Clementine:
I apply my personality in a paste.

Joel:
If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.

Mary:
Adults are like a combination of sadness and phobias.

Clementine:
Hi!

Joel:
Excuse me?

Clementine:
I just said hi.

Joel:
Oh! Hi, hello.

Clementine:
I'm Clementine … no jokes about my name.

Joel:
I don't know any jokes about your name.

Clementine:
Huckleberry Hound.

Joel:
I don't know what that is.

Clementine:
Huckleberry Hound! [singing] Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine.

Joel:
I don't know what that means.

Clementine:
Are you nuts?

Joel:
It's been suggested.

[During Joel's exploration of a memory]

Joel:
I'm in my head already, aren't I?

Howard:
I suppose so. This – this is about what it would look like.

Joel:
[in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.

Clementine:
So go.

Joel:
I did. I thought maybe you were a nut … but you were exciting.

Clementine:
I wish you had stayed.

Joel:
I wish I had stayed too. Now I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had … I wish I had stayed. I do.

Clementine:
Well, I came back downstairs and you were gone!

Joel:
I walked out, I walked out the door!

Clementine:
Why?

Joel:
I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like … it was above my head, I don't know.

Clementine:
You were scared?

Joel:
Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.

Clementine:
Was it something I said?

Joel:
Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?

Clementine:
Oh, I'm sorry.

Joel:
It's okay.

Joel:
Hi.

Clementine:
Hi. I didn’t figure you’d show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.

Joel:
I just wanted to see you and, uh...

Clementine:
Yeah?

Joel:
I’d like to... take you out. Or something.

Clementine:
You’re married.

Joel:
Not yet. Not married. No, I’m not married.

Clementine:
Look, man. I’m telling you right off the bat, I’m high maintenance so... I’m not gonna tiptoe around your marriage or whatever it is you’ve got going there. If you wanna be with me, you’re with me.

Joel:
Okay.

Clementine:
Too many guys think I’m a concept or... I complete them or... I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a f***ed-up girl lookin’ for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.

Joel:
I remember that speech really well.

Clementine:
I had you pegged, didn’t I?

Joel:
You had the whole human race pegged.

Clementine:
Hm. Probably.

Joel:
I still thought you were gonna save my life. Even after that.

Clementine:
Mm. I know.

Joel:
It would be different... if we could just give it another go-around.

Clementine:
Remember me. Try your best. Maybe we can.

Joel Barish:
Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

Joel Barish:
I'm constitutionally incapable of making eye-contact with a woman I don't know.

Joel Barish:
She was nice. Nice is good.

Joel Barish:
It's all being wiped away.

Joel Barish:
I loved you on this day. I love this memory.

Joel Barish:
I ditched work today. Took a train out to Montauk. I don't know why, I'm not an impulsive person.

Clementine Kruczynski:
I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, you know? Taking advantage of every possibility? Just making sure that I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

Clementine Kruczynski:
… you stop listening to what is true, and what is true is constantly changing.

Clementine Kruczynski:
I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a f***ed up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

Clementine Kruczynski:
You look familiar. Ever shop at Barnes & Noble?

Clementine Kruczynski:
I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me.

Clementine Kruczynski:
People don’t understand how lonely it is to be a kid.

Mary Svevo:
Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias.