Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them

Customs Official:
British?

Newt:
Yes.

Customs Official:
First trip to New York?

Newt:
Yes.

Customs Official:
Anything edible in there?

Newt:
No. [unconsciously passes a hand over his breast pocket]

Customs Official:
Livestock?

[A latch on Newt's suitcase pops open, the Customs Official looks down curiously.]

Newt:
Must get that fixed. Um... No.

Customs Official:
Let me take a look.

[Newt moves a latch on his suitcase that switches it to "Muggle Worthy. The Customs Official opens the suitcase and we see it contains his clothes.]

Customs Official:
Welcome to New York.

Newt:
Thank you.

Mary Lou:
Are you a seeker? A seeker after truth?

Newt:
I'm more of a chaser, really.

Tina:
You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj.

Newt:
The what?

Tina:
No magic. The non-wizard!

Newt:
Oh... yes, sorry. We call them Muggles.

Tina:
And you were just in Equatorial Guinea?

Newt:
And I've just completed a year in the fields. I'm writing a book about magical creatures.

Tina:
Like an extermination guide?

Newt:
No. A guide to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them.

[as a Billywig zips around them]

Tina:
What was that?

Newt:
Uh, moth, I think. Big moth.

[Newt and Tina pass through a crowd of No-Majs towards Jacob's apartment.]

Policeman:
Hey, quiet down! I'm trying to get a statement!

Woman:
I'm telling you, it's a gas explosion again, and I ain't taking the kids back up there until it's safe!

Policeman:
Sorry, ma'am, there ain't no smell of gas.

Man:
It weren't gas, officer. I seen it. It was a gigantic, huge hippop... [Newt passes behind him, waving his wand] ...gas.

[The whole crowd starts yelling "gas" in agreement.]

Tina:
It was open?

Newt:
Just a smidge.

Tina:
Mercy Lewis, what is that?!

Newt:
Nothing to worry about... [returns it to his case] That is a murtlap.

[Newt prepares to wipe Jacob's memory]

Tina:
You can't Obliviate him. We need him as a witness.

Newt:
Yes, I'm sorry, but you just yelled at me the length of New York for not doing it in the first place.

Tina:
[about Kowalski] He's hurt! He looks ill.

Newt:
He'll be fine. Murtlap bites aren't serious. [Jacob groans and doesn't look well] [getting concerned] Yeah, I admit that is a slightly more severe reaction than I've seen. But if it was really serious, he'd have...

Tina:
What?

Newt:
Well, the first symptom would be flames out of his anus...

Tina:
Oh, this is balled up!

Tina:
Mr. Scamander, do you know anything about the wizarding community in America?

Newt:
I do know a few things, actually. I know you have rather backwards laws about relations with Non-Magic people. That you're not meant to befriend them. That you can't marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me...

Tina:
Who's gonna marry him?

[Jacob, in spite of being ill, still manages to look insulted.]

Newt:
You're a Legilimens?

Queenie:
Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind. Brits. It's the accent.

Jacob:
You, uh, you know how to read minds?

Queenie:
Oh, don't worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me.

Jacob:
Mr. Scamander?

Newt:
Oh, call me Newt.

Jacob:
Newt, I don't think I'm dreaming.

Newt:
What gave it away?

Jacob:
I ain't got the brains to make this up.

Newt:
I need to get going. Find everyone who's escaped, before they get hurt.

Jacob:
Before they get hurt?

Newt:
Yes, Mr. Kowalski. For they're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet... Humans.

Newt:
People like you, don't they, Mr. Kowalski?

Jacob:
Oh. Well, I'm, uh, I'm sure people like you, too, huh?

Newt:
Not really, no. I annoy people.

Newt:
So did you get your loan?

Jacob:
No. I ain't got no collateral. Stayed in the army too long, apparently.

Newt:
You fought in the War?

Jacob:
Of course I fought in the War. Everyone fought in the War. You didn't fight in the War?

Newt:
I worked mostly with dragons - Ukrainian Ironbellies - Eastern Front.

Newt:
[hands Jacob a helmet] Put this on.

Jacob:
But why would I have to wear something like this?

Newt:
Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.

Newt:
[as he is strapping body protection on to Jacob] Now there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about.

Jacob:
Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?

Newt:
Well, my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.

Jacob:
Can someone please tell me what this Obscural... Obscurius thing is? Please?

Tina:
There hasn't been one for centuries.

Newt:
I met one in Sudan three months ago. There used to be more of them, but they still exist. It was before wizards went underground, when we were still being hunted by Muggles. Young wizards and witches sometimes tried to suppress their magic to avoid persecution. So instead of learning to harness or control their powers, they developed what was called an Obscurus.

Tina:
It's an unstable, uncontrollable dark force that busts out and attacks, and then vanishes. Obscurials can't survive long, can they?

Newt:
There's no documented case of an Obscurial surviving past the age of ten. The one I met in Africa was eight when she... she was eight when she died.

Jacob:
What are you telling me here? That Senator Shaw was killed by a... a kid?

Percival Graves:
You're an interesting man, Mr. Scamander.

Tina:
Mr. Graves...

Percival Graves:
[silences her with a finger] You were thrown out of Hogwarts for endangering human life...

Newt:
That was an accident.

Percival Graves:
...with a beast. Yet one of your teachers argued strongly against your expulsion. Now... what makes Albus Dumbledore... so fond of you?

Percival Graves:
So setting a pack of dangerous creatures loose here was just another accident, is that right?

Newt:
Why would I do it deliberately?

Percival Graves:
To expose wizardkind. To provoke war between the magical and non-magical worlds.

Newt:
[scoffs] Mass slaughter for the greater good, you mean?

Percival Graves:
Yes, quite.

Newt:
I'm not one of Grindelwald's fanatics, Mr. Graves.

Jacob:
What, you're not gonna Obliviate me?

Queenie:
Of course not. You're one of us now.

[One of Newt's creatures saves Tina from the death cell, then flies around, blocking the pursuing Aurors' spells]

Tina:
[running] What is that thing?

Newt:
[also running] Swooping Evil!

Tina:
[laughs] Well, I love it!

Tina:
Graves always insisted the disturbances were caused by a beast. We need to catch all your creatures so he can't keep using them as a scapegoat.

Newt:
There's only one still missing. Dougal, my Demiguise.

Tina:
[amused] Dougal?

Newt:
Slight problem is that, um, he's invisible.

Tina:
Invisible?

Newt:
Yes. Most of the time. He does, um...

Tina:
How do you catch something...?

Newt:
With immense difficulty.

Jacob:
[standing at the apparently empty bar] How does a guy get a drink in this joint?

[a bottle pops off the shelf and flies into his hand]

Bartender:
[behind the bar] What? Ain't you ever seen a house-elf before?

Jacob:
[covering] Oh, no, no of course I have. I love house-elves. My uncle's a house elf.

Bartender:
: [scoffs] Yeah...

Queenie:
Are all No-Majs like you?

Jacob:
[suave] No, I'm the only one like me.

[He knocks back a shot of Gigglewater, and immediately lets out a high-pitched bark of laughter]

Newt:
You can tell me to mind my business, but I saw something in that death potion back there. I saw you hugging that Second Salem boy.

Tina:
His name's Credence. His mother beats him. She beats all those kids she's adopted, but she seems to hate him the most.

Newt:
And she was the No-Maj you attacked?

Tina:
That's how I lost my job. I went for her in front of a meeting of her crazy followers. They all had to be Obliviated. It was a big scandal.

Gnarlack:
So you're the guy with the case full of monsters, huh?

Newt:
News travels fast.

Newt:
I was hoping you could tell me if there have been any sightings... tracks, that sort of thing.

Gnarlack:
You've got a pretty big price on your head, Mr. Scamander. Why should I help you, instead of turning you in?

Newt:
I take it I'll have to make it worth your while.

Gnarlack:
Let's consider it a cover charge. [Newt slides some Galleons across the table.] [scoffs] MACUSA's offering more than that. [Newt places an optical device on the table.] A Lunascope? I got five.

Newt:
[produces a] Frozen Ashwinder egg.

Gnarlack:
[finally interested] Oh, you see, now we're... [sees Newt's pocket] Wait a minute. That's... that's a Bowtruckle!

Jacob:
Sorry, Mr. Gnarlack...

[punches Gnarlack in the face, knocking him to the floor]

Jacob:
Reminds me of my foreman!

Tina:
Tell me the truth. Was that everything that came out of the case?

Newt:
That's everything. And that's the truth.

Credence:
I'm sorry, Ma...

Mary Lou:
I am not your mother! Your mother was a wicked, unnatural woman!

Jacob:
Did... Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here in, uh, America?

Queenie:
Of course. Ilvermorny. It's only the best wizard school in the whole world.

Newt:
I think you'll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts.

Queenie:
Hogwash!

Percival Graves:
You're a Squib, Credence. I could smell it on you the moment I met you.

Credence:
What?

Percival Graves:
You have magical ancestry, but no power.

Credence:
But you said you could teach me.

Percival Graves:
You're unteachable, Credence. Your mother's dead, that's your reward. I'm done with you.

Percival Graves:
Credence... I owe you an apology.

Credence:
I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. I thought you were different.

Percival Graves:
You can control it, Credence.

Credence:
I don't think I want to, Mr. Graves.

Seraphina Picquery:
He was responsible for the death of a No-Maj. He risked the exposure of our community. He has broken one of our most sacred laws...

Percival Graves:
A law that has us scuttling like rats in the gutter! A law that demands we conceal our true nature! A law that directs those under its dominion to cower in fear lest we risk discovery! I ask you, Madam President, I ask all of you... Who does this law protect? Us? Or them? I refuse to bow down any longer.

Gellert Grindelwald:
[scornfully] Do you think you can hold me?

Seraphina Picquery:
We'll do our best, Mr. Grindelwald.

Jacob:
[about to lose his memory] Hey. This is for the best. Yeah. I-I was... I was never even supposed to be here. I was never supposed to know... a-any of this. Everybody knows Newt only kept me around because... Hey, Newt, why did you keep me around?

Newt:
Because I like you. Because you're my friend. And I'll never forget how you helped me, Jacob.

Queenie:
I'll come with you. We'll go somewhere. We'll go anywhere. See, I ain't never gonna find anyone like you.

Jacob:
There's loads like me.

Queenie:
No. No. There's only one like you.

[Newt and Tina say their goodbyes at New York Harbor]

Newt:
Well... it's been...

Tina:
[laughing] Hasn't it?

Customer:
Where do you get your ideas from, Mr. Kowalski?

Jacob:
I don't know. I don't know. [chuckles] They just come.