Fast Workers

Mary:
Where've you been?

Millie:
Just got in from Egypt.

Bucker Reilly:
Yeah, It must be wonderful to travel. I've always wanted to see Sioux City.

Mary:
How are tricks with you?

Millie:
I'm out with a dope that's buying wine.

Millie:
Well, that's the quickest I ever saw a throw-a-beer-in-the-lap gag.

Mr. Shore:
It's old. A little Javanese girl pulled it on me years ago.

Judge:
If I let you go will you promise not to drink any more of that Hallelujah syrup?

Liar Fined in Court:
Yessee.

Judge:
Ten dollars or ten days for lying. Next case.

Mary:
Does beer stain?

Bucker Reilly:
I don't know.

Mary:
Oh, there's my telephone.

Bucker Reilly:
Gee, I feel like a heel, getting you all wet like this.

Alabam':
I never could see no fun, just watchin' a woman bend up and down.

Alabam':
Wasn't you pretty sick in your soul when you saw she was faithless?

Pinky Magoo:
Yeah, he was brokenhearted all that day. But, that night, he met a blonde and skies were blue again.

Mary:
Oh, Gunner, when you're here like this its all roses. I sort of kid myself that you're here for keeps.

Gunner Smith:
You're a nice kid, precious. The sweetest in the world. But, don't pull that forever and ever stuff with me. It makes me want to reach for my hat.

Mary:
Oh, skip it, honey.

Bucker Reilly:
Hey, Alabam', let me have the key to your room, will ya. I want to borrow your blade.

Alabam':
Don't read my love letters, while your in there.

Bucker Reilly:
Don't worry, I can't read Chinese.

Mary:
You have to have money to start with, even before you get married.

Bucker Reilly:
Well, we can get married tomorrow. I got dough. I save my money. I got five thousand dollars. Well, what's the matter? Ain't that enough?

Mary:
Oh, you darling!

Pinky Magoo:
If you see that colored girl in the sun bath, give me a signal.

Alabam':
And she had the prettiest high C's that ever come in the choir. We was up in the choir loft, one night, practicing our duet. And just as we reached the top note, we leaned against the hand rail and it busted and she crashed to the floor.

Gunner Smith:
Too bad you're not in circulation.

Mary:
[Seductively] What's on your mind?

Mary:
Sit down, honey. Get some of this cold beer into you. There you are. Just what the doctor ordered.

Millie:
I demand an apology!

Gunner Smith:
Apology? Do you owe this clam an apology?

Millie:
Oh, you think she's better than us, eh? We're trash! Well, she's no better than I am.

Gunner Smith:
Well, you're trying to call her a dirty name, are you?

Mary:
Okay, Gunner, please.

Millie:
Say, you better warn this guy about me.

Gunner Smith:
Oh, don't worry. I ain't strollin' out with you.

Millie:
Don't tell me about that guy! You've let him kick you around so much, he's gone completely batty over you.

Millie:
Oh, you know what's rubbin' him. Go in there, tell him you ain't gonna marry this clunk.

Mary:
I've already married him.

Millie:
O-O-O-O-Oh...

Pinky Magoo:
Oh-la-la is all I can say.

Gunner Smith:
Nurse, will you please throw this dumb dame out of here.

Gunner Smith:
Forgive him, lady. He was born with a dirty brain.

Gunner Smith:
Oh, all these broken bones for nothin'!

Virginia:
Well, how long have you been here?

Gunner Smith:
To shorten the story, sister, what he wants to know is what time do you quit work?

Virginia:
Five AM in the morning.

Gunner Smith:
Plenty of time, Bucker. Come. Cool your blood with beer.

Bucker Reilly:
Say, you know, if I have a million dollars, I'd marry me one like that.

Gunner Smith:
If you had a hundred dollars you could buy twenty of them.

Bucker Reilly:
Oh, no, she's nice!

Mary:
Why chase after quarters when there's still so many good ten dollar gold pieces rolling around?

Virginia:
They haven't been rolling in the gutters for me.

Mary:
Gutters, eh? I get ya.

Mary:
Hi, kid.

Millie:
Where you been?

Mary:
Oh, upstairs trying to run a ten into a hundred.

Millie:
How'd you do?

Mary:
Oh, I compromised. I lost.